1.
When he was a very serious actor who wanted to be treated with the utmost respect.
2.
When he discovered that someone runs a Twitter called "Jake Doing Things" and reacted to a collection of his finest moments.
3.
When he read a tweet about someone who wanted to punch his face, that was somehow loveable and entirely accurate in its description.
4.
When Ellen did one of her classic scare pranks on Jake and he decided he wanted to square up with the guy.
5.
When he filmed a movie with Ryan Reynolds and actually got told off for goofing around so much.
6.
When he questioned the fluidity of time.
7.
When he had some fun with bubble wrap.
8.
When he revealed that he wanted to talk to his fans and they just weren't as interested in him as he was in them.
9.
Like, really, why won't anyone talk to the poor guy?
10.
When he revealed the correct way to pronounce his last name once and for all.
11.
When he explained the nuances of his acting career didn't rely solely on his facial hair.
12.
When he revealed that he went for a role in Lord of the Rings and completely bombed the audition.
13.
When he blamed his perpetual flakiness on his star sign.
14.
When Seth Meyers discovered Jake Gyllenhaal's secret ~truth~ so we could understand why Jake decided to grow a beard.
15.
When he had no time whatsoever for people's bullshit.
16.
When he played a tricky game of "Save or Kill" and it was in his best interest to avoid answering some questions.
17.
When Tom Ford released a line of lipsticks and named one after Jake Gyllenhaal, and literally didn't tell him until he'd already done so.
19.
When he made this horribly cringey pun.
20.
When he scratched his back with a fork, and then dragged someone for taking a pap shot of him scratching his back with a fork.
21.
When he talked inspiringly about the time he wrote a letter to KFC asking them to reinstate his favourite kind of fried of chicken.
22.
When he had the entirely correct opinion on Beyoncé.
23.
And when he went to an NBA game with Beyoncé because he is truly one of the few people worthy of being in her presence.
