1. Chances are you're a dual citizen, and you feel way too proud of having two passports and feeling like a spy.
2. And you always feel smug in airports about being able to pick whichever queue is shortest.
3. Since you know both cultures pretty well, you can't help but laugh when Americans assume British men are all super classy.
4. But you also get defensive when people suggest Americans are somehow dumber than Brits.
5. Or when Brits judge Americans for not travelling abroad, because just look at America!
6. In fact, it's weirder that British people don't travel more, given how many countries are RIGHT FUCKIN' THERE!
7. You laugh when people say that everyone in Britain is very reserved.
8. You've spent more time than most people over this bit of Greenland.
9. You are trapped in a transatlantic nightmare of not knowing whether to greet people with hugs or handshakes or kisses.
10. And if you ever got used to hugging people hello in America, the next time you were in Britain you probably made some people very unhappy.
11. When Hershey's stopped the importation of proper Cadbury's to the US you became a chocolate smuggler for your friends and family in America.
12. You have a complicated relationship with the letter "u".
It's not your...favourite letter.
13. If you've been away for a while, American customer service always throws you off guard.
14. You have *methods* for getting British TV in America and American TV in Britain.
15. You try to time your illnesses for when you're in the UK.
16. Whether your parents are British in America or American in Britain, emigrating probably enhanced their patriotism about whichever country they left.
17. Also, if you have British parents in America, they're probably pretty freaked out by American high school graduation ceremonies.
18. You know that British people just don't understand bagels.
If bagels were British (not pictured: people putting BUTTER ON PLAIN BAGELS AND THEN PUTTING THEM IN THEIR MOUTHS)
19. But also that Americans don't know how to drink.
Can we all establish that the pub near where I live has flooded and there's 2 guys drinking a pint like nouts wrong
20. (They also suck at tea obviously.)
Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they make cups of tea this colour
21. This is one of your most frequent Google searches, and it's usually heartbreaking.
22. Chances are your accent is not quite American enough or not quite British enough.
23. But if you sound American, British people have trouble knowing when you're being sarcastic, because it all comes out sincere.
I just can ever recognize the tone in an American accent .. You joking, laughing, serious talk, pissed of talk, sarcasm WHAAAT
This leads to them assuming you're dumb, mean, or both.
24. In any case, you often don't know what word belongs to what dialect.
I get by with a little help from my friends. @FloPerry
25. Not to mention that you have some very specific and strange gaps in your knowledge about BOTH countries.
Some British things I have taught/explained to my American housemate @hcjewell in the last few weeks: Boyzone, woodlouse, soured cream.
26. But on the plus side, you can call things (or people) either garbage, trash, OR rubbish depending on the specifics of the situation.
27. It's always exciting to meet someone with your exact same background.
28. And whether you're flying from the US to the UK, or from the UK to the US, you always say you're flying "home".
