This is 17-year-old student, Twitter user, and Ed Miliband enthusiast Abby.
She has nearly 11,000 followers.
When she is not busy revising for exams, she is leading a strange but wonderful cabal of teen girls called the "Milifandom".
For those who don't know, a "fandom" is what you call it when a group of teens fall so desperately in love with a TV show, actor, band, YouTube star, or other charismatic personality that they start doing things like this:
And saying things like this:
Basically, imagine the kind of all-consuming hormonal hysteria that lifted the likes of One Direction and Justin Bieber to superstardom. It is a gift, and a powerful one, that teenagers can give to the world. And this week, they have given that gift to Ed Miliband.
The Milifandom began just last week – with this exchange between two teen friends Jen and Chlo introducing the word "Milifandom" for the first time to Twitter.
The Milifandom spread quickly, as many Milifans started to follow Ed himself on Twitter.
They are changing their Twitter photos and bios to give more space to express their love for Ed.
Others have just casually added Ed's name next to their other heroes. Like Harry Potter and Zayn.
So now these teen girls – who usually focus their energies on the likes of Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch – are redirecting their obsessive interest in the pursuit of Ed Miliband.
And this is what that looks like:
Abby – who gained her following as a fangirl of Tom Hiddleston and Marvel Comics – told BuzzFeed News she hopes the Milifandom will help lift Ed's spirits.
"We just want to change opinions so people don't just see the media's usual distorted portrayal of him - and actually see him for who he is. Ed is just a great guy and how many other politicians have a fandom? 0. We're just waiting for him to acknowledge it bc it's kinda sad when he only ever sees people write mean things about him."
What does she think he'd be like in real life?
"I think he's brilliant! Very down to earth, geeky, trips over things a lot, helps old ladies across the street, that sort of thing."
But it's not only about making Ed feel better. Abby supports Labour, and is annoyed that she can't yet vote.
"I can't have a say in what happens in my own country! And labour is why I love Ed, I'm a party member and I think they truly are the way forward. If it was up to them, I would allowed a voice."
Her parents don't support Labour, and have no idea their daughter is the leader of the ever-growing Milifandom.
What would they think if they found out?
"I think they'd disown me," she said.
The fandom has gone international.
It's all getting a bit...weird.
It can safely be said that the teens have gone wild – ironically at first, but slowly descending into the type of genuine, lustful madness that only Ed can inspire.
People are combining their new Milifandom with their other fandoms.
It's getting slightly intense.
This is serious, people.
Ed Miliband is taking over these teenagers' lives.
Some of the Miliband obsession does, at least, seem to be paying off.
Meanwhile, David Cameron's teen girl fandom has yet to rear its head on Twitter.
But Abby, in the end, only wants what any reasonable teen girl would.
Follow Abby here to keep up with the Milifandom.
Abby's wish has come true – Ed tweeted at Abby this morning thanking her for her support. She would now like to be left alone to study for her A levels.