The time has come for the people of Great Britain to take a long, hard look at the shadowy face of Ted Cruz.
Because while we've been distracted by the tangerine apocalypse of Donald Trump, this man (with his deeply unsettling face) has become the only person left who might be able to keep Trump from winning the Republican presidential nomination.
Ted Cruz was born Rafael Edward Cruz to an American mother and Cuban father in a lovely, mountainy, cheerful bit of Canada in 1970.
Here's Cruz at 18 describing what he wanted to do when he grew up: "Take over the world. World domination, rule everything. Rich, powerful, that sort of stuff."
He then went to university at Princeton, where he shared a dorm room with his biggest fan, the screenwriter Craig Mazin.
While at Princeton, Cruz gained a reputation for being "creepy", no doubt thanks in part to his "habit of donning a paisley bathrobe and walking to the opposite end of their dorm’s hallway where the female students lived", according to the Daily Beast.
Here's young Ted at Harvard Law celebrating Republican victories in the 1994 midterm elections, pictured here making every orifice in your body clench.
In 2000, he went to work for the presidential campaign of George W. Bush, who once said of Cruz, "I just don't like the guy."
OK, so at this point you might be wondering, "How does a guy with so many enemies get so many votes?"
Ted Cruz also has some very strong beliefs adding to his appeal among conservative voters, which can be summarised quite simply.
So what makes somebody a Cruz fan instead of a Trump fan? Basically, Cruz’s supporters consider themselves the proper, diehard small-government conservatives.
Here's a puppy, you've earned it.
The next Republican primary isn’t until 19 April in New York, where Trump is expected to do well. Trump is still in the lead, but in terms of their delegate counts (which actually decides the party’s nominee), Cruz is catching up:
With plenty of delegates still up for grabs in upcoming primaries, the nominee probably won't be decided until the Republican National Convention in July.
So that's what a Ted Cruz is, and why you should care.
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