19 Red Flags And 13 Green Flags That Caught Peoples' Eyes On Dating Apps
Those red flags speak volumes. 🚩
Let's face it: Dating apps are one of the easiest ways to meet people these days. Though swiping through countless profiles can be quick and effective, it can be tricky to tell what you're getting yourself into based on someone's profile.
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us some "green flags" they look out for while swiping. We also shared some common "red flags" on dating apps, and received a ton more helpful responses. So, here are some big red and green flags to be aware of while swiping through dating apps or making your own profile:
1. Red flag: "Any mention of sex, even if it's a 'joke,' is a massive red flag to me. If that's one of the first things you think to mention when introducing yourself, our priorities are very different. A friend once complained to me that he never got any messages/replies and asked me to look at his profile. It was full of innuendos, a couple of not offensive, but rather tasteless references, and 'LOL' at the end of every sentence. I pointed this out, but he got defensive and said that if a woman didn't find stuff like that funny, she wouldn't be the right one for him anyway. He never did get any replies and is still single."
2. Red flag: "The phrase, 'I don't usually swipe right, so if we match, you're pretty lucky.'"
3. Green flag: "I saw a guy holding a sandwich in his main profile picture, and he looked so happy and wholesome! Plus, his profile was filled with jokes that showed his personality. But that profile pic just caught my eye because you could see the little simplicities in life that made him happy. He was a really mellow guy with a great smile!"
4. Red flag: "Posing with a kid. Please don't put pics of your (or your relatives') kids onto a dating profile. If you have a kid, just write it in your bio. Pictures of you posing with a tiger, elephant or the like...supporting animal abuse is a no-go."
5. Green flag: "People who take time to actually fill out their bios, instead of putting, 'I don’t know what to put here,' or, 'If you want to know, hmu.' I hate when it’s just a link to their Snapchat or Instagram."
7. Red flag: "Guys who say 'no penpals' and refuse to exchange any info before wanting a date. Um, I’m not going to go out with some creepy ass dude who I know nothing about. They have no concern for my safety or general comfort."
9. Red flag: "I hate when people say, 'I’m overly competitive about EVERYTHING.' To me, that just screams, 'I’m insecure.'"
10. Green flag: "When they actually list what they bring to the table as a good partner, instead of telling you what you have to be, or asking you not to waste their time. It shows that they aren’t selfish or self-centered and actually want a mutually beneficial interaction."
12. Red flag: "If a profile mentions that they 'don’t want any drama,' THEY are always the drama."
13. Green flag: "Whenever someone mentions an interest of theirs that can start a conversation — a weird hobby, a favorite book, or anything that can lead into an open discussion. SO many dating app conversations can start and end with, 'Hi, you’re cute,' but if you start out with a profile that says, 'I hand-weld medieval armor for fun,' then we at least have a great starting point."
14. Red flag: "When they share anything that's followed by, 'since that's all that matters on here,' or, 'not sure why that matters.' That kind of embittered, self-pitying attitude doesn't get you very far."
15. Red flag: “'Swipe right if you can actually hold a conversation,' translates to, 'Women find me creepy and give me short answers to try and get away.'"
16. Green flag: "A photo of them doing whatever their hobby is, like playing guitar, hiking, painting, etc. It's one thing to say, 'I enjoy building dog houses for strays,' but including a photo really knocks it out of the park."
17. Red flag: "When their bio says, 'I’m never on here, so message me on [insert random social media account] instead. Why have the app if you’re not going to use it?"
18. Green flag: "I like when people show funny pictures and not just artificial perfection. People should show off their lives for what they are, not just what they want them to look like."
19. Red flag: "If their bio says, 'I like dark humor.' I personally like dark humor. My only problem is that recently the line between 'dark humor' and being straight-up offensive has been blurred."
20. Red flag: "When men lie about their age so they show up in younger women's searches, then start their bios with, 'I'm actually 45, not 35. Don't know how to change it.' It's subtle manipulation, and I'm not here for it."
21. Green flag: "Having both solo and group pictures. It shows what you look like, and shows what you're like in a social setting. It's also great when people share a couple hobbies on their profile so it’s easy to see if you have compatible interests for a first or second date."
22. Red flag: "Putting, 'Just ask,' in your bio is my number-one peeve. I will immediately swipe left. If you can't take five minutes to write a decent bio, I'm not interested."
23. Green flag: "When their account is verified. Look for the verified check mark on applicable sites!"
25. Red flag: "When their bio says they are open to a long-term relationship 'with the right person.' It sounds reasonable on the surface, but NO ONE wants to get into a relationship with the wrong person. This just screams, 'I am not really looking for something long-term, but I don't want to say that. I am being intentionally vague in case we meet and you might want to hook up, even though that's not what you were originally looking for.'"
26. Green flag: "I like when someone has a picture of them being goofy or making a funny face. I’m not trying to date some stone-faced mysterious person with sad photos only. If you have a photo of you blowing a fire extinguisher like a saxophone, I’m not only swiping right, but I'm bringing a ring to propose with on our first date."
27. Green flag: "When people talk about positive attributes they are looking for, rather than saying what they don't want in a partner."
28. Red flag: "When someone's first message to you is, 'Hi, wanna come over?' When meeting someone online, you usually you chat first on messenger and/or video chat, then meet up in a public place before considering going to a stranger's house right away."
29. Red flag: "'No one ever gives me a chance.' Someone did give you a chance, then probably ran for their life away from you."
30. Green flag: "I see so many profiles of guys acting 'too cool,’ and I can’t tell their real personalities from that. Throwing in some humor or a joke, no matter how lame, makes them feel more real."
31. Red flag: "I hate it when guys say stuff in their bio like, 'The Office is not a personality trait,' or, 'Please start with something more original than saying hi.' It's possible to phrase your preferences in a kinder way. All you're doing is proving to me that you'll take any opportunity to insult women, whether you've spoken to them or not."
32. Finally, green flag: "When people take the time to actually honestly answer some of the prompts on the site, or fill out their bio. Effort goes a long way and shows they are serious about finding a good match!"
What are some red or green flags that you look for on dating apps? Tell us in the comments!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.