Hey there, coven — and welcome back to another edition of Help Me Hameda, with your internet bestie, me, Hameda.
This week's DM comes from someone who was just broken up with by their boyfriend.
And listen, you might be thinking breakups are always tough. But they can be especially tough when it seems like everything is perfect, save for one little thing that ends up being your undoing.
For this week's submitter, that reason was a very stark difference in sex drives.
Now, while in some circumstances it does depend on how you feel about your partner or the type of relationship you’re in, for some people the absence of sexual attraction and drive is ever-present — and that’s totally fine.
There are obviously many layers to intimacy, and a plethora of different kinds — it’s important for you to discover which are the most valuable to you when you’re finding a partner. Luckily, you’re in your mid-twenties, which in my opinion is the perfect time to work all of that out.
I've personally noticed that our mid-to-late twenties are generally the time when we reflect on our lives and the choices we've made — and use those experiences to make decisions on who we want to be.
It seems that he’s been doing the same kind of reflecting, which ultimately resulted in the end of your relationship. In these scenarios, the usual response is to hold on tight because of the sudden fear of change. But this completely undermines the beauty of endings and the opportunity that change can bring.
Let me elaborate. Like the 'Death' tarot card says: Endings are generally perceived as bad, but that’s not necessarily always true — and I don’t believe it is in your case.
So you're asking me if you're holding onto something that isn't going to work out. To me, It's obvious that you've found great things in this person, made wonderful memories and care about them deeply. But if he’s unhappy with a part of your relationship that is a huge factor for him, coming back together likely isn’t the wisest of choices.
When something in your life comes to a close, take a moment to mourn the loss, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, then take those lessons and view them as blessings. So my advice for you is to let it go, respect the last act and reflect on what it is that you did learn.
Then, you can spend some time focusing on yourself and embracing the change that follows. And trust me, while what follows will be chock-full of growing pains, it’ll also be beautiful, transformational and propel you to a wonderful place — leaving you prepped, primed and ready for your next big journey.
And this is what we call growth, sweet readers! Those are all of my thoughts, feelings and understandings for now, but if you guys have anything you want to add, feel free to share in the comments.
Just don't forget to be kind and considerate when you do.
If you've got a question about a problem, have a thought you can't seem to resolve, or want another opinion on a scenario in your life, you can DM me about it on Instagram (@itshameda) or Twitter (@hamedanafiz) to be featured in the column.
You can also drop in questions and submissions in the comments for consideration — if that's something you're comfortable with.
P.S All submissions are for publication on BuzzFeed only.