1. Chipotle Guy Was Shocked That Romney Wanted To Fire Big Bird
2. Obama Brought A Lightsaber
3. People Weren’t Sure If Romney Was Running For President Of The United States Or Mayor Of Whoville
4. Lana Del Rey Showed Up
5. Hair Was An Issue
7. But Not The Only Topic Of Debate
8. The Most Contentious Issue, However, Was Jim Lehrer’s Job As Moderator
14. The Day Of The Debate Happened To Coincide With “Mean Girls” Day, And On Wednesdays They Wear Pink
15. But The Movie Other People Were Reminded Of Was “Bridesmaids”
16. Tiny Face Mitt Romney Made An Appearance
17. As Did Many Tiny Obamas
18. McKayla Maroney Was Unimpressed
19. Hillary Was Diplomatic
20. But There Were No Hard Feelings
21. Right, Guys?
22. Besides, This Was Merely The Opening Act For Next Week’s Main Event
- President Trump signed executive orders today to advance the Keystone XL and Dakota Access oil pipelines, prompting praise from pro-Trump unions.
- White supremacist Richard Spencer rented space in Alexandria, Virginia, that he intends to use as a hub for the alt-right, sparking outrage and complaints from neighbors.
- 2017 Oscar nominations for Best Picture include: "La La Land," "Moonlight," "Arrival," and "Hidden Figures" 🎥 🎬
- Britain's Supreme Court has ruled that Prime Minister Theresa May needs to consult parliament before triggering Brexit.