1. Chipotle Guy Was Shocked That Romney Wanted To Fire Big Bird
2. Obama Brought A Lightsaber
3. People Weren’t Sure If Romney Was Running For President Of The United States Or Mayor Of Whoville
4. Lana Del Rey Showed Up
5. Hair Was An Issue
7. But Not The Only Topic Of Debate
8. The Most Contentious Issue, However, Was Jim Lehrer’s Job As Moderator
14. The Day Of The Debate Happened To Coincide With “Mean Girls” Day, And On Wednesdays They Wear Pink
15. But The Movie Other People Were Reminded Of Was “Bridesmaids”
16. Tiny Face Mitt Romney Made An Appearance
17. As Did Many Tiny Obamas
18. McKayla Maroney Was Unimpressed
19. Hillary Was Diplomatic
20. But There Were No Hard Feelings
21. Right, Guys?
22. Besides, This Was Merely The Opening Act For Next Week’s Main Event
- Ted Cruz has ended his Republican presidential campaign after losing Indiana's primary to Donald Trump.
- A massive fire in Alberta is threatening the capital of Canada's oilsands industry, and tens of thousands of people have been ordered to evacuate.
- Smash hit "Hamilton" received 16 Tony Award nominations, breaking the record held by "The Producers" and "Billy Elliot."