1. Chipotle Guy Was Shocked That Romney Wanted To Fire Big Bird
2. Obama Brought A Lightsaber
3. People Weren’t Sure If Romney Was Running For President Of The United States Or Mayor Of Whoville
4. Lana Del Rey Showed Up
5. Hair Was An Issue
7. But Not The Only Topic Of Debate
8. The Most Contentious Issue, However, Was Jim Lehrer’s Job As Moderator
14. The Day Of The Debate Happened To Coincide With “Mean Girls” Day, And On Wednesdays They Wear Pink
15. But The Movie Other People Were Reminded Of Was “Bridesmaids”
16. Tiny Face Mitt Romney Made An Appearance
17. As Did Many Tiny Obamas
18. McKayla Maroney Was Unimpressed
19. Hillary Was Diplomatic
20. But There Were No Hard Feelings
21. Right, Guys?
22. Besides, This Was Merely The Opening Act For Next Week’s Main Event
- Bomb threats were called into Jewish centers in at least 13 states today, making it the fifth wave of threats since January.
- The suspect in a Kansas shooting that left an Indian man dead thought he was shooting Iranians, and the FBI is investigating as a possible hate crime.
- The House Intelligence chairman denied that his call to a reporter at the behest of the White House would influence the probe of Trump and Russia.
- "Moonlight" won Best Picture at the Oscars, but they accidentally gave it to "La La Land" first 😳