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    These 42 Quotes From "30 Rock" Keep Me Going In Life, Especially In This God Forsaken 2023

    I have a betting system based on horse penis size.

    30 Rock is the place where gloominess goes to die. This sitcom, famous for its chaotic and wacky episodes, was a hilarious rollercoaster ride through the madness of running a fictional sketch-comedy show.

    Tina Fey walks in a corridor

    Not to forget the equally hilarious side-cast and the huge number of guest stars such as Queen Latifah, Carrie Fisher, Peter Dinklage, Matt Damon, Nancy Pelosi, and Condoleezza Rice.

    Matt Damon in the dress of a pilot

    You can catch the episodes now on Peacock. Here are some of the most hilarious quotes from the show.

    Hannibal Buress talks to Alec Baldwin

    1. Liz Lemon: "I took the money I was saving for my honeymoon and bought a cemetery plot."

    Tina Fey talks to someone

    2. Jenna Maroney: “Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you’re not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something’s wrong.”

    Jane Krakowski talks to someone

    3. Erin (pointing to a mole on her cheek): "This is a beauty mark. But you thought it was funny to say God pooped on me."

    A woman points to mole on her cheek while another woman looks at her

    4. Dr. Leo Spaceman: "What can you do? Medicine is not a science."

    Chris Parnell and Scott Adsit look at someone

    5. Jenna Maroney: "So I called him and I was like, 'OJ, where are you?' And he was like 'Wait you’re alive? Then who did I kill?'"

    Jane Krakowski speaks

    6. Rob Sussman: "Hello Elizabeth! Still think I am gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun?"

    A man talks to someone

    7. Liz Lemon: “If I could press a button and five people in the world would die, but I’d get free cable for life, I’d do it.”

    Tina Fey talks to someone

    8. Liz Lemon: "I saw my grandparents making love once, and I didn’t leave right away!"

    Tina Fey talks

    9. Liz Lemon: “I don’t care! I’ll start my own group! Rejection from society is what created the X-Men!”

    Tina Fey smiles

    10. Jenna Maroney: "Oh, don't be so dramatic. That's my thing. If you take it away from me, I will kill myself."

    Jane Krakowski talks to someone

    11. Liz Lemon: “Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize my college futon, with its trademark absence of sex stains?”

    Tina Fey talks to Tracy Morgan while Jack McBrayer stands in the background

    12. Abby *hugs Liz*: "Uhh! Our nipples just touched. Mine are so hard." Liz Lemon: "Mine are different sizes."

    Tina Fey and Cristin Milioti hug each other

    13. Tracy Jordan: “Like any penis, Florida is very complicated.”

    Tracy Morgan talks to Tina Fey

    14. Kenneth Parcell: “I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind. That’s the devil’s temperature.”

    Jack McBrayer stares

    15. Tracy Jordan: “I watched Boston Legal nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.”

    Tracy Morgan talks to Judah Friedlander

    16. Jack Donaghy: “I like when a woman has ambition. It’s like seeing a dog wearing clothes.”

    Alec Baldwin talks

    17. Jack Donaghy: “I have to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can have this haircut.”

    Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey walk together

    18. Jack Donaghy: “What’s wrong, Lemon? When I see you chew your nails like that, it’s either you’re very anxious, or you handled some ham earlier.”

    Alec Baldwin talks to Tina Fey

    19. Peter Hornberger: "When your kid throws a tantrum and holds his breath, you hold your breath, too. When you regain consciousness, believe me, he's ready to leave the toy store."

    Scott Adsit talks to someone

    20. Jack Donaghy: "Lemon, women your age are more likely to get mauled at the zoo than get married."

    Alec Baldwin talks to Tina Fey

    21. Liz Lemon: “Everyone I ever dated in high school turned out to be either gay or a girl dressed as a guy to get a journalism scholarship.”

    Tina Fey lies down on a sofa

    22. Tracy Jordan: “Tell her you want her to donate her body to science and you’re science. Tell her, Jack!”

    Tracy Morgan talks to someone

    23. Kenneth Parcell: “I can talk to animals. Well not talk to ’em. I can take commands from them.”

    Jack McBrayer talks to someone

    24. Jack Donaghy: “We all have ways of coping. I use sex and awesomeness."

    Alec Baldwin speaks on stage

    25. Jack Donaghy: “I have a betting system based on horse penis size.”

    Alec Baldwin talks

    26. Tracy Jordan: “Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.”

    Tracy Morgan smiles

    27. Jack Donaghy: "He certainly wasn't a Swiss prostitute that Martha Stewart recommended to me."

    Alec Baldwin talks

    28. Liz Lemon: "If I can't poop in the streets, then why should my tax dollars pay for someone else to?"

    Tina Fey talks to someone

    29. Jenna Maroney: “When I was pageantizing, my mother told me there’s only three things standing between you and winning: your breasts, and wanting it bad enough.”

    Jane Krakowski talks to someone

    30. Dr. Leo Spaceman *before delivering a baby*: "Full disclosure, most of my experience is putting babies in women."

    Chris Parnell as a doctor

    31. Liz Lemon: "I know Captain Burnett. He is a reasonable person. He compromises readily on movie choices and sexual positions."

    Tina Fey talks to someone

    32. Jenna Maroney: “You know what they say, boys. If you can’t stand the heat, get off of Mickey Rourke’s sex grill.”

    Jane Krakowski talks on a cell phone

    33. Cerie Xerox: “As a frequent receiver of drunk messages, they are not cute. Even when they’re from Liz.”

    Katrina Bowden looks in shock

    34. Liz Lemon: "You need to wear a bra."

    Tina Fey talks to Katrina Bowden

    35. Dennis Duffy: “Dear Liz Lemon, while other women have bigger boobs than you, no woman has as big a heart.”

    Dean Winters and Megan stand together

    36. Kenneth Parcell: “When the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat.”

    Jack McBrayer talks to someone

    37. Carol: "Stewart did not study dance at Carnegie Mellon to become a flight attendant to clean bathrooms."

    Matt Damon speaks to Tina Fey

    38. Liz Lemon: "Sorry Jack, I have to take this. Yes, may I please speak to pizza?"

    Tina Fey talks to someone on phone

    39. Lutz: "What if there was a channel that's just the sounds of people having a party so you could put it on when you call your parents."

    John Lutz talks to someone

    40. Kenneth Parcell: “I feel about as useless as a mom’s college degree.”

    Jack McBrayer talks to someone while holding poker cards

    41. Dr. Leo Spaceman: "When is modern science gonna find a cure for woman's mouth?"

    Chris Parnell dressed as a doctor

    42. Peter Hornberger: "Last night I had sex with Paula, and neither of us was wearing a Walkman."

    Scott Adsit talks to someone

    What are some of your favorite quotes from 30 Rock? Let me know in the comment section below!