"People who back into parking spots just want attention."
Before the ear incident, that is.
"Crazy that every person in front of you at an ATM has never used an ATM before."
Let's pull back the veil on weddings.
What a great year for cats!!!
"The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth."
"Can’t believe I just have to keep dating until someone likes me back or I die."
"Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart."