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1. A set of Bottle Bright tablets so you can tackle all those stains on your bottles and travel mugs instead of quietly buying new ones every year when it seems like they're past the point of no return.
2. A Makeup Eraser, a super soft face towel with two sides — one that can wipe off all your makeup with water and a light scrubbing, and another that exfoliates your skin — so you don't have to deal with that heap of face-washing supplies bursting out of your medicine cabinet anymore.
3. A bottle of wood polish that will make your all your scuffed up doors, hardwood floors, and furniture look so spanking new that the whole room will feel that much easier to tackle next.
4. An smudgeproof eyeliner stamp so you can finally get the perfect cat-eye on the first go without having to ~wing it~ (read: wasting eight cotton balls, half a bottle of eye makeup remover, and all of the minutes you were setting aside to make your morning coffee).
5. A bunch of Miracle-Gro "food spikes" that can bring plants as sad as the tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas back from the brink of death, and will continuously feed them for 30 to 60 days while you get the rest of your life in order.
6. A mold and mildew removal gel you can leave on the offending spots for six hours, then wipe away like nothing nefarious ever grew there in the first place.
7. A set of produce-saver storage containers designed to keep your fruits and veggies fresh way longer than usual, so you won't be in a constant race against time to cram your produce into your mouth before the mold sets in.
8. A hair-finishing cream for taking care of those little wisps and flyaways that don't quite make it into your ponytail — a far better solution than shoving a baseball cap over your head and calling it a day.
9. A set of streak-free lens wipes that are gentle on your glasses, camera lenses, and phone and laptop screens, but will also help remove bacteria and that honey buffalo dip you got a little too enthusiastic about while you were texting.
10. A sunrise simulation clock to trick your human brain into thinking you're already dappled in the light of a bright, sunshiny day when you wake up, so you can start tackling your little messes earlier in the day and with a much clearer head.
11. A strapless convertible bra, so you don't have to start from square one and pull half the bras out of your underwear drawer during your panicked early morning outfit changes. This one's got at least 95% of the tops and dresses in your closet covered.
12. A Lay-n-Go cosmetic bag that fans out to become a mat, essentially letting you lean into the mess that is your life by actively encouraging you to do your favorite thing: dump a bunch of stuff into a bag and deal with it later.
13. A toilet-cleaning gel you can stamp inside your toilet so it can continually clean with every flush for two weeks at a time, giving you one less mess to deal with as you triage all the other ones.
14. A red wine stain-removing spray that magically erases both old and new red wine stains from fabric so even the most notorious hot messes among us can fearlessly lounge on your white duvet while sipping your deep-red pinot the way God and Olivia Pope intended.
15. A power scrubber brush you can attach to a DRILL (!!) that basically does all of the hard grime-busting so fast that you'll have eons of time left to deal with all those *other* messes you've been putting off.
16. A dry shampoo spray that will help absorb excess oil and give your roots so much oomph that you'll shenanigan everyone into thinking your Day 3 hair is actually Day 1. One less mess to deal with two out of three days sounds like a win.
17. A self-grooming cat toy so your cat can have a time ~feeling themselves~ and you can have an even better not finding hairballs all over your bedroom when you're trying to get your life together.
18. A fume-free oven cleaner that's gentle enough that you don't need protective gloves to use it, but tough enough that it'll erase the evidence of all your baking misadventures and that time you fell asleep while cooking pizza rolls.
19. A cable clip you can stick to your desk or your nightstand to keep your charging cable locked in one convenient place — a true relief from trying to tug them out through the genuine knot of cables that's been steadily getting more tangled under your desk.
20. A broom for pet and human hair that can work on any type of floor, but is specifically designed to pull it up from the carpet deeper than even a lot of vacuums can reach. If you're gonna un-mess up this particular mess, you're gonna have to dig in deep.
21. A mini contact lens case so you can always have a backup pair on hand for when you inevitably lose one of the contacts you're already wearing (with things as inconvenient as this, it's less a matter of if, and more a matter of when).
22. A ring size adjuster for loose rings, so you're no longer *that* person crawling around on the floor at the movie theater every time your ring slides off.
23. A set of dishwasher-cleaning tablets you can pop into a cycle with your dirty dishes to wipe out all the extra grime and that funky smell you were low-key hoping would just go away on its own.
24. A slim organizer tray for your cutlery that will save you so much drawer space that you'll feel like you just opened an extra pocket in the time-space-fork continuum. No more jamming the messy drawer shut and praying it stays that way, y'all!
25. Plus a set of clear drawer organizers that will finally force you to reckon with the abyss of your "junk drawers" once and for all. Start with the makeup one, move onto the kitchen one, and then — if you dare — tackle the one in your nightstand, too.
26. A jewelry-cleaning stick with cleansing solution on a brush designed specifically to get in the nooks and crannies of your jewelry, so anyone who sees the glint of your perfectly clean rings will be like, "Wow, that's a person whose life looks like it's probably not a mess!"
27. A set of bed bands that will lock your fitted sheets neatly into place so you can stop shoving the loose corners under your duvet whenever you're too tired to remake your whole bed in the morning.
28. A faux-leather bench with ~secret storage~, because if we're all being honest here, even the deepest of cleans will leave you with a bunch of miscellaneous objects that don't quite have a home. Now they do, and it's QUITE chic.
29. A set of floating shelves that will give you some extra surfaces to hold your stuff, because shelves are a foolproof way to turn your "mess" into ~art~.
30. A bamboo charging station for your bedside table to organize all your devices and let you wake up to a clean, fully-charged slate of them every morning, and make you feel like you have your life together even when it's one match away from being a garbage fire.
31. A multilevel jewelry stand to free you from the 10 minutes you spend every morning untangling your necklace from your bracelet that is also somehow tangled in ANOTHER necklace like an endless shiny ravine.
32. A mini leather wallet you can stick to the back of your phone case, sparing you from the five seconds of sheer, unadulterated panic when you can't remember which pocket you stuck your ID in on a walk around the neighborhood.
33. An opaque, understated laundry hamper that'll blend in with the decor, unlike that see-through mesh one that's been getting steadily grosser since you banished it to the far side of your bed.
34. A shower curtain with POCKETS, because the utter delight of extra pockets should not be limited to surprise ones in dresses. Now you can store all your extra brushes, soaps, razors, and other odds and ends at eye level, instead of letting them perilously crash into the shower from the edges you propped them on before.
35. A pack of melatonin gummies that may help boost your natural sleep hormones and make it easier to fall asleep — because honestly, sometimes all we really need to un-mess up our own hot messes is some quality shut-eye.
36. A pair of high-waisted performance leggings – they come with a pocket for your phone and a teensy *secret* pocket for your keys, so you can keep all your important belongings on your person at the gym instead of playing another rousing round of, "Uhhh which locker number did I put my stuff in again?"
37. A copy of Start Where You Are, a self-exploration journal to help you organize your thoughts and feelings, because sometimes the mess isn't physical, y'all. Sometimes there's just a big ole mess in our hearts.
You walking away from the hot messes in your life entirely unscathed:
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