As we all learned from watching Kevin McCallister, there is pretty much no better feeling than just being home alone, chilling the heck out, and spending some QT with your weird, wacky self...
So when Reddit user supermicromainboard put the question "What is the weirdest thing you do when you're alone" out onto the internet, the confessions came fast and furious — and you know what? They'll make you laugh. They'll make you cry. They'll make you feel less alone!
1. They juice things.
"I put things in the juicer to see what happens. Gushers work weirdly well. Watermelon is meh. Don't juice a potato."
2. They talk to their appliances.
"I speak aloud. Alone. Sometimes with objects. BTW, the toaster is quite sad, because I haven't used it in a while."
3. They host a one-person book club.
"Discuss various movies or books I've enjoyed recently with myself to see if I can work out any plot points that might've confused me before. It's worked surprisingly well."
4. They hold their boob.
5. They're their own commentators.
"Commentate my life. Like sports announcer style. 'Denny is dropping down, looking to put this sandwich away.' 'That’s right Bob, truly a spectacular performance, one more bite should do the trick'... 'OH MY GOD, A BAG OF CHIPS COMES OUT OF NO WHERE. THE CROWDS ABSOLUTELY LOVING IT.'"
6. They fiercely maintain their beards.
"I regrew my beard recently, and as a result, I've fallen back into the worst private habit I ever developed.
See, I've always been something of a stickler for grooming, and that makes my facial hair a source of nearly constant frustration. Whenever I'm alone, I wind up running my thumb across my jaw line, feeling for anything that's even a millimeter out of place. If I discover a hair that's slightly too long, I immediately have to trim it... and of course, dealing with that one offender often means that I have to punish the ones around it, too. I'll find myself making trips to my bathroom mirror maybe a dozen times a day, always with that Sisyphean intent of keeping my beard perfect."
7. They'll sing out loud — and do a little improvising.
"I will purposefully switch out words to songs to make them funny. Oh, I'll sing to my dogs too."
8. They check out the menus for random restaurants abroad.
9. They walk around impersonating Elvis.
"My friend caught me walking across her kitchen do the Elvis hips with bent knees taking exaggerated steps, she's still my friend."
10. They interview themselves.
"I, like many people, talk out loud to myself. However, I like to pretend I'm being interviewed. It's a great way to process what I think about things, like movies, or music, or even just day to day life. I'm sure I sound like an absolute maniac if anyone heard me."
11. They practice screaming.
"I like to 'practice' how I would scream if there was an intruder or something scary in my house. Like if I am walking to another room, I prep myself to have a reaction like if someone was there. I even scream at the top of my lungs sometimes."
12. They get naked.
13. They do their best ~Ariel~.
"Whenever I’m visiting my parents and they leave me in the house alone (I live in an apartment so can’t do it at my place), I like to sing loudly and perform an intense theatrical version of 'Part of Your World' from The Little Mermaid."
14. They have conversations with their pets.
"I have full on conversations with my dog. I even answer back for them in a silly voice. Basset hounds don't give a f--- and swear like sailors."
15. They work on their vlogging skills.
"Sometimes I’ll just pretend like I’m doing a vlog for people. I could be brushing my teeth and I’ll be like, 'Hey guys, welcome back to the vlog. I'm just brushing my teeth' and so forth."
16. They act out fight scenes.
17. They bust out their secret musical talents.
"Play piano. No one knows I play, and I like it that way for some reason."
18. They work on their telekinetic powers.
"I try to move inanimate objects with my mind's powers. One day, it will work, and I'll probably have a heart attack from the shock."
19. They observe their testicles.
"I like to watch my balls move. seriously. I know it's super weird but a long time ago I learnt that the testicles constantly expand and shrink so whenever I get glorious alone time, I stare with utter amazement at my self-moving love eggs."
20. They try to talk to their virtual assistants.
21. They sing...Gregorian chant.
"When alone, I sing Gregorian chant for my own enjoyment and to maintain the technique and intonation required for stylistically correct chanting."
22. They experiment with just HOW BIG their cat's head really is.
"Sometimes, I try to fit my cat's entire head in my mouth. She doesn't mind."
23. And finally, they check in with themselves.
In closing, hanging out by yourself and doing all the weird things society won't let you do in public = the best feeling ever, and nothing comes close.
