1. View this video on YouTube Nike's (and Tiger's) answer to his idiotic behavior? Use his dead father, and have Woods stare at the camera blankly. Brilliant! 2. View this video on YouTube I love Uma. But this 2011 French Schweppes commercial (shot by David LaChapelle) is embarrassing. The premise is not remotely funny, the script is terrible, and Uma is acting like she's on about 25mg of Valium. 3. Here's a 12 year-old Dakota Fanning looking like she's about to be assaulted in a Marc Jacobs ad. Sweet jacket, though. 4. Trying to keep his hooch hawking on the Q.T., Quentin Tarantino ingloriously lends his "badass" rep to Dewars in Russia. He doesn't look too thrilled about it. Bad photoshop combined with lame fake quotes. (I lost the translations, but I remember that they were lame. Russian language people, please help.)Update (commenter comes through): L—"Few people love winners, don't you think?" R—"Our weaknesses say much more about us than our successes, don't you think?" 5. View this video on YouTube George Clooney has been the European spokes-face for Nespresso since 2006. Here in 2009, in a spot directed—for some reason—by Robert Rodriguez, Clooney is killed by a falling piano. And look who shows up as God! Just, terrible. 6. View this video on YouTube From 2009. Really DirecTV? Dead Chris Farley? Utterly tactless. 7. From 2006, it's the much-derided Gwyneth Paltrow looking utterly ridiculous for a very worthy charity called Keep A Child Alive. At the least, she should have really had her face tribal-painted.