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  • Combat Marine And Rock Singer Joins Other Rock Greats To Release Album To Help Veterans

    Always Marine and rock singer John Preston is joining forces with the Valkyrie Initiative (VI) and other rock greats to release an album created by combat veterans.

  • Super fun! This kid is having a blast!

    It's time to go underwater with the BANCHI BROTHERS for another fascinating adventure! Wholesome fun family entertainment that is sure to excite and inspire your little one!

  • Why We Love Cats - Family Systems Theory

    This article examines why most people love cats as a means to explain several of the main ideas in Murray Bowen's theory of Family and Societal Systems. This theory of family behavior is based on several key concepts about why people act like they do in groups, not based on mechanistic roles but on how people in groups act emotionally. This theory thinks in terms of emotional processes and not in hierarchies or intellectual terms. We irrationally love cats-- those of us who do. Those who hate cats hate them irrationally. Why all the emotions about cats? Because they expose the truth about human emotional systems by introducing catlike emotional behavior! Dr. Murray Bowen invented what has come to be known as "Bowen Theory" or Family Systems Theory. Dr. Rabbi Friedman put Bowen's theory to work for rabbis, pastors and other religious professions in Generation to Generation and his posthumous work Failure of Nerve. The cat, any cat, introduced into the human emotional system, will cause the human emotional system to rearrange. Because the cat does anything but because of how the cat is emotionally, not. 1. Cats Tend to Be Emotionally Self-Differentiated Most humans call this independence or detachment. It is really the position of self-differentiation to which we all aspire. We admire cats for being able to be standoffish and aloof. What we truly admire is their ability to shamelessly self-differentiate. Those who hate cats most likely are uncomfortable with others who refuse to participate in emotional hubbub in the human system too. They know what they will and will not do and refuse to be trained. They have no desire to win approval but seek emotional support (petting) when they want it and from whom they want it. Self-differentiation is the goal and high water mark of maturity for the Bowen Theory. Cats have it. 2. Cats Do Not Accept Anxiety from Others When there is "drama" between humans, cats usually run off or keep out of the fray by going and hissing into fend-off defensive mode until they can escape. Cats refuse to accept anxiety from others. Cats take care of their own emotional distress. They fight their own fights and never seek to recruit the "gang" or "herd" effect as humans do. 3. Cats Have Learned a Perfect Balance Between Closeness and Distance Cats never become so attached that they can not do without you but never so distant they don't look for you after you have been gone a while. If you are gone an hour or a year it makes no difference. They will react the same to your return in predictable patterns. The longer you are gone the less they may react upon your return. They have found the perfect balance of distance and closeness that humans rarely find. Most humans become so close to each other they fuse either by loving or fighting. Or humans distance from each other in response to anxiety thus keeping the fusion on a distance level. Not cats. Most humans respect the boundaries of a cat much more than the emotional boundaries of other humans! 4. Cats Are Distant but Connected They do their own thing and then, suddenly, it seems, they will arrive into the emotional system with purring and a desire to be petted on their own terms. Try to stop them when they WANT strokes and you will have to get out a broom. 5. Cats Learn This Behavior From Parents If a kitten acts up, the mother never threatens the kittens with the return or retribution of the father: she does the swatting herself. Cats social animals like humans, but even the mother is self-differentiated. She feeds when she feels like it and defends the litter if she is in the mood. The kittens learn it from their parents. The father stands off to the side as a sometimes protector of the litter and the mother attends the little ones without asking a thing more from the father. Humans are fascinated by this closeness/distance balance but we admire it too. While kittens, they show no self-differentiation except when they will pitilessly shove the runt out of the way to get the last suck of milk even though the runt may be starving to death. 6. Cats May Feel Anxiety During Times of Change but They Handle Their Own - They Do Not Triangle Humans admire this and fear it at the same time. Someone who is self-differentiated is frightening to those who are not. The reason for this is because humans tend to be a herding species, especially when there is change or upset in the "normal" way anxiety is handled in the system. Cats do NOT do this. They handle their own anxiety like the elder leader of a lion Pride. When the young lion challenges the Pride leader the leader may put up a ceremonial fight but handles the anxiety. He does not seek to share the anxiety with anyone. He goes off into the distance and watches the Pride move on without him. In Bowen's theory, humans always triangle. We can not handle the common anxieties of life and so we seek out someone to share our anxiety. The anxiety producer-- whether it is a person or a situation or a pressure-- is always the third person in the triangle. 7. Cats Feed on Herds They Never Form Herds Herds "group think" and panic. They run from anxiety or mindlessly attack each other trying to find the panic-making culprit, but they rarely attack the real predator which has been stalking them for days. They tend to herd together to expel the anxiety by attacking it or running from it instead of dealing with it when humans experience anxiety. Cats eat from panicked herds. They do not form herds. They form Prides. Even the name suggests independence and positive attributes. They fail to see the real danger: the cat in the room. For instance, think of the distasteful images on the television documentaries of lions eating water buffalo or gazelles. Notice, if the herd suddenly turned on the cats, the cats would lose. Even if several, maybe just a handful, of the thousands-of-pounds beasts turned on the cats, the limber but vulnerable-to-stomping cats would flee in panic. 8. Cats Can Switch Prides Based on Their Own Self-Interest Selfishness and self-differentiation are not the same and cats seem to understand this. Cats are not selfish. Cats can go from owner to owner, Pride to Pride, without loss of self-differentiation. Because it was not emotionally fused with the last one, give a cat away and it will adapt immediately to the new situation! They don't NEED humans. If they have to, they can hunt. They generally bring the poor beast to their humans to supplement the foodstuffs the humans gather from God knows where if they do choose to hunt. Humans may experience this as selfishness on the part of the cat or self-absorption. Some cats will leave one household and adopt another with seemingly no regrets if the new situation is in the best interest of the cat. 9. Cats Can Act Like Kittens if They Feel Like It This ability to regress is not emotional weakness but the willingness to be emotionally open when they feel like it. There is the key: when they feel like it. Some humans hate cats. An angry human may kick the dog and a dog will cower. Kick a cat and see what happens. Cats can, delightfully, from time to time suddenly act like a kitten!-- Playing with balls and dancing after laser lights moving from a human penlight. When they feel playful or curious, cats can regress. Conclusion: They want herd members who will feel sorry for them, spread the anxiety, start a panic and head off in attack or flight from an unseen and unknown enemy. These are only a few reasons why humans love cats. They reflect the emotional health described in Bowen's Family System Theory and this causes a great division among humans. The sad truth is that self-differentiated people tend to hang together and watch from a distance the weird behaviors of the herds below. Emotionally non-self-differentiated people tend to hang together too. They tend to herd together, serve the anxieties of the weakest members of the herd, and seek togetherness and agreement over anything else. Humans may experience this as selfishness on the part of the cat or self-absorption. Some cats will leave one household and adopt another with seemingly no regrets if the new situation is in the best interest of the cat. Some humans hate cats. Some humans hate this. Notice, if the herd suddenly turned on the cats, the cats would lose. Even if several, maybe just a handful, of the thousands-of-pounds beasts turned on the cats, the vulnerable-to-stomping but limber cats would flee in panic. Some hate cats for the same reason some people dislike self-differentiated people. Like a cat, a self-differentiated person can not be emotionally manipulated, does not fall easily into triangulation, and seems uncaring and selfish to someone who is begging for a partner in anxiety.

  • What Its Like Growing Up With Siblings

    Can't live with them. Can't live without them.

  • collection

    What Do You Want People To Know About ADD/ADHD?

    Because it's so much more than just being "easily distracted."

  • How Awesome Are Your Christmas Opinions?

    From the build-up to the big day itself, we've got your Christmas Opinions covered.

  • What Do You Have In Common With Leonardo Da Vinci?

    The original Renaissance man could do almost anything! Which of his famous attributes do you share?

  • REDMOND rj 910s

    Hello , guys today we are shooting the review on auger juicer REDMOND rj-910s - she knows how to make fruit smoothies!Now I'm not forced to eat fruit as I drink a delicious smoothie

  • Creepy To Historical: Top 7 Dark Tourist Sites You Should Visit

    From haunted houses to creepy corn fields everyone has heard of at least one or two "dark tourist" sites. Not all of these attractions are for show. There is history in the creep factor of the Lizzie Borden house, just like you can get chills from walking by Auschwitz. I think these seven places are worth a visit if not for a history lesson, then for the enjoyment of being scared.

  • 15 Things Black Girls With Natural Hair Should Know

    Natural Hair is not for the faint of heart..

  • Latest Social Networking App RingID Is Making Waves All Over

    Check out the myriad features and benefits of RingID

  • Which Rap Song Did You Not Want Your Parents To Catch You Listening To?

    We're making a playlist dedicated to furious moms everywhere. Earlier this week, you may have seen a viral Snapchat story of a horrified mother listening to her 8th grader son's Spotify playlist. Songs she listened to included D.R.A.M.'s "Cash Machine," Kanye West's "Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1," and J . Cole's "Wet Dreamz" Any rap fan will tell you that these are far from the worst songs for a mother to hear, so today we asked our Facebook and Twitter followers to submit the songs they wouldn't want their parents to catch them bumping (back in the day or at this very moment), and we've received some pretty great results.

  • 5 Reasons To Buy A Platform Bed

    Looking to refurbish your home this festive season? Read on to find out how you can upgrade your home with a platform bed this Christmas

  • A Daily Reading Habit In 4 Steps (A How-To For People With No Time)

    Will December be the month you finally pick up a book again?

  • U.S. Military Responsible For Biowarfare Leak In Washington State

    First, Oakville residents saw a heavy increase in black aircraft traffic.

  • 5 Handy Tips To A Money Saving And Stress Free Christmas Shopping

    Read onto find out how to complete your Christmas Shopping without building stress or burning a hole in your pockets.

  • Silver, It's Not Just For Jewelry You Know! we know that silver looks great as a bracelet, necklace, ring or earring, but other than jewelry does it have any practical use?

  • The Changing Role Human Resources Management Training Program

    Times are changing very fast. With the development of company’s growth now it is very necessary to conduct human resource management training.

  • New Ford C-MAX: Clever, Compact Vehicle To Move Young Families With Flexibility, Fuel Efficiency

    The Ford C-MAX is an all-new, affordable transportation alternative for rising, flexible seating and internal space, busy North American families who crave industry-first equipment, sporty performance, and best-in-class fuel economy.

  • Let's Date

    Who is your true match?

  • There Are More Ways To Commute In Bangkok

    Every time you google how to commute in Bangkok or you have seen a guide book or vlog from Bangkok it's always BTS and MRT - as the best way to commute here. But for local, this is not the best way to go to work or meet your friend when you are in rush hour or your house is not around the train station. There are more way to commute in Bangkok and some of them you will be surprised