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1. A Blade Runner–inspired umbrella to escape the rain (and the year 2019).
2. A pair of UV-blocking sunglasses with built-in Bose audio so you can finally sport a wearable that isn't dorky as hell.
3. A flask-style water bottle that'll fit where other bottles don't in your bag.
4. A beautiful moving image that'll play in a perpetual loop for 24 hours.
5. A pair of aerating wineglasses to win over even your hard-to-please friend who can always sniff out a gimmick like a sommelier checking for "floral notes."
6. A rechargeable electric lighter for a windproof alternative to the old school way.
7. A faux-leather swivel chair that'll blast your wig to Mars, where Natasha Lyonne works in the cinematic universe of Ad Astra.
8. A genetic ancestry test kit for your pup, so you can finally identify the exact breed breakdown of the creature you've been living with.
9. A temperature-regulating comforter that'll keep hot sleepers from feeling uncomfortably toasty — its eucalyptus shell remains perfectly cool to the touch throughout the night.
10. A countertop prep system for the most organized meal-making of your life. I'm opening a Subway franchise as we speak.
11. A wooden fractal puzzle that'll actually make you a Puzzle Person.
12. A handy touch-less "Fohm" dispenser with a paraben-free cleansing solution to turn your existing toilet paper into an environmentally friendly version of "flushable wipes" (which pose a serious threat to marine life, as they don't properly break down when flushed).
13. A solar-powered rainbow maker that'll cast delightful prisms around your room when the sun hits it.
14. A robot vacuum cleaner with an infrared-sensor for evading obstacles, so you don't have to worry about leaving this thing unattended.
15. A natural sunlight–simulating vanity mirror that'll last up to two weeks on a single USB charge (and is also incredibly light and portable).
16. A 60-second face cleansing device powered by T-Sonic pulses that'll gently exfoliate and clear pores before clogs turn into breakouts.
17. A set of geometric ceramic planters so you don't have to choose between art or plants for that bare wall — have the best of both worlds.
18. A 3-in-1 lamp that'll give you total freedom to decide which type of lighting is right for you: an upright, mini street lamp, a minimalist dish light, or an overhead light (attached to the ceiling with the included rope).
19. A poop bag carrier to make the idea of daily dog walks sound a lot less crappy — and achieve the unthinkable: poop bags as Fashion.
20. An acrylic Squatty Potty to get your colon and artistic sensibility aligned.
21. A light-up electronic word clock you'll want to keep on your desk — time might be moving at a glacial pace at work but you'd never know it from this futuristic gadget.
22. A motion-sensor LED toilet light if you're looking for an alternative to a boring night-light (or just something that'll turn your butt purple).
23. A two-tier wavy glass coffee table that'll make a nice statement piece.
24. An all-natural shampoo bar to cut out single-use plastic from your hair-washing routine.
25. An Away suitcase that'll expand an impressive 1.75″ so you never have to worry about buying too many souvenirs on vacation.
26. A Sonos x Ikea WiFi bookshelf speaker you'll have the option of using horizontally, vertically, or mounted on the wall as a practical shelf.
27. A mesh ball chair that'll be easy on the back...and the eyes, I must say.
28. A temperature-controlled mug with a charging coaster so you can have a leisurely drink of morning coffee instead of racing to finish it in a five-minute window. (It'll keep your drink perfectly hot for 1.5 hours on a single charge.)
29. A modern piece of cat furniture to seamlessly conceal their litterbox and give them something fun to climb on.
30. A minimalist lamp that'll cleverly use the outlet as an anchor and create the illusion of floating.
31. A pair of sculptural travel bottles that double as exfoliating tools you'll never mistake for someone else's.
32. A recycled gift wrap set embedded with hundreds of Wildflower seeds — just cover the paper with 1/8" of loose topsoil instead of tossing it in the trash — so the gift recipient will walk away with two gifts. Three, if they consider saving the earth one.
33. A bidet, because it's 2019 and we should have a more civilized way of cleaning our butts than with scraps of paper.
34. And a veggie and fruit to-go cup for a perfect "I'm running extremely late this morning" breakfast solution — it even has a built-in colander so you can take care of rinsing in the same cup.
Some reviews in this post have been edited for length and/or clarity.