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    Updated on Aug 27, 2019. Posted on Aug 13, 2019

    21 Products To Distract You While You Hurtle Toward Death

    Unfortunately we are all going to die, but here are some products to busy yourself with while you wait in the reception area known as life.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A bottle of Mike's Hot Honey for a delicious distraction you can drizzle on everything from pizza to ice cream — it has no expiration date, unlike us!

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Really, this stuff is going to outlive you.

    Promising review: "This is now a staple for my kitchen. How I cooked without it before, I'll never know. Makes the best vinaigrette ever, quick pan sauces for pork, unexpected zip in dozens of dishes. Does it come in gallons? Have given it as hostess gifts several times and everyone gets hooked." —Martha Ronemus

    Read our full review of Mike's Hot Honey.

    Get it from Amazon for $8.48 (for a 12-ounce container; also available as a set of 2, 3, 6, and 12).

    2. A bug bite suction tool, because biting the dust is inevitable but mosquitoes biting your arm and creating itchy, unsightly bumps doesn't have to be.

    instagram.com, amazon.com

    Promising review: "I am a magnet for bites of all kinds and carry topical and medicines with me at all times — so I figured this would be a good product to see if it really works. I woke up with a bug bite on my arm so I used this little tool (three times per the instructions) — immediately after using, it stopped itching! And less than 24 hours later the bump/bite gone! There is a very faint red mark from using the thing, but a small price to pay IMO. Bottom line: it’s awesome. I’m carrying it with me everywhere!" —Rebecca

    Get it from Amazon for $9.95 (also available as a set of 2, 3, and 6).

    3. A pack of cleaning tablets that'll wipe away years of grime in mere minutes — if only Bottle Bright could do that for our contaminated oceans, too! Would love to see it.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "I seriously can't believe how well these little tablets work. I had the most disgusting HydroFlask coffee mug — I tried everything. Bottle brush, different kinds of soap, vinegar, EVERYTHING, and there was still a seemingly impenetrable layer of black sludge inside. It grossed me out so much that I bought ANOTHER HydroFlask to replace it. Now eventually they both got black inside, so I tried these little magic tablets. I let a tablet sit in each of my mugs for an hour or two, and the black sludge rinsed out COMPLETELY, without even scrubbing. They look brand new. What a magical product. No weird smell or taste afterward, either. I liked it so much I used it on another HydroFlask I use primarily to hold my Bloody Mary mix in the fridge. I couldn't put anything else in it because it would always taste like spicy tomato juice. Bottle Bright to the rescue! No residual smell or taste anymore. AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING." —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $7.99 (for a pack of 12).

    Get a closer look at these Bottle Bright tablets for some impressive before and afters.

    4. A tee to remind you that some things never die, like Lil Nas X's trollish anthem which has secured a spot on the Billboard Hot 100 for over four months.

    Urban Outfitters

    I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more!

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $36 (available in men's sizes S-XL).

    5. A trusty white noise machine that will — lalalalalalalala I can't hear you, thoughts of mortality.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "If you are someone who likes white noise while you sleep, this is the device for you. It remembers whatever setting it was last on, so you don't have to readjust it every time you unplug it and plug it back in. The construction seems solid and put together with the intention to last; this is not a cheap feeling product. The sound output can go from quite quiet to almost too loud. Initial setup is a bit of a hassle, going through every one of the noises, but once you find the one you like, you can just stick with it. While you might think 50 bucks is a lot for something that just makes a repetitive noise, you sleep every single day. I've had this for several years now and it is still going strong, so that means I'm paying only a penny or three a day to help ensure a good night's sleep. I'd call that a solid investment." —Kaz

    Get it on Amazon for $48.89 (available in black or white).

    6. A pack of reusable, plastic-free straws, because if only we can save the turtles, we can save...ourselves. Right, gang?

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Promising review: "I originally started out using the stainless steel straws — but I lived in this relentless, looming anxiety that I would chip my tooth on them...to the point where I dreaded using my straws. Which defeats the point! I thoroughly enjoy that you can chew on these. 😂 Five stars all around, they come with simple baggy to take them for travel, AND a cleaner utensil. They're super low maintenance, because they give you the proper care and cleaning tools. They also donate to the OCEANA campaign effort to save the ocean!" —Amy Marquez-Vincent

    Get a pack of 10 from Amazon for $8.95.

    7. An external battery that'll carry up to three full phone charges when you're running low on juice — you probably know where I'm headed with this one.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I know external batteries are a snore and $31 seems like a lot compared to the cheap 'lipstick' ones, but I cannot recommend this battery enough. It can charge my phone a full three times, which is crucial for someone like me: a frequent-flying, Twitter-loving, podcast-downloading, battery-draining millennial who feels like they're drowning if their phone dies for one damn second." —Rachel Dunkel

    Get it from Amazon for $29.99+ (available in four colors).

    8. A produce-saving container, because everything is ephemeral but you'll never know it from these strawberries. They don't look a day over fabulous!

    Amazon, Natalie Brown

    Promising review: "Oh my gosh, these work! I went on a 10-day trip to visit my mom and left my husband home with asparagus, strawberries, and spinach in the containers. He ate some of all of them, but there was plenty left when I got back and they were in perfect condition! I couldn’t believe it! These will save us a lot of money not throwing away food because we couldn’t get through it fast enough. (We shop at Costco and get large containers of produce.) These are TOTALLY worth getting and I will be getting a few more sizes. Excellent product!!!" —Elizabeth Walter

    Get a set of three from Amazon for $26.99+ (also available as a set of four and eight)

    9. A mini game of Twister so you can contort your brain (and fingers) in such a way that you forget the nature of existence. Obsessed!

    firebox.com

    Get it from Firebox for $8.99.

    10. A toothpaste wringer, for when you'd much rather concentrate your efforts on getting that last bit of paste out of a tube than extracting the meaning of life.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "These work great. They keep even a full tube upright so the bathroom counter looks tidier. The key twists the empty section of the tube easily so every bit of the toothpaste is used with no fuss. Have one for my husband and one for each of the kids." —Chelley Patterson

    Get a set of two from Amazon for $7.59.

    11. A rechargeable coil lighter that'll create a flame that doesn't go out.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "Looks cool...but most importantly, it works. It's absolutely windproof. And the charge it lets out is (or looks like) plasma...an awesome purplish zap. It's easy to charge. This would be a great survival device — you could start a lot fires on one charge. The only thing I had to get used to was not having a flame. If you're using this for cigarettes, you have to push the cigarette into the arch and move it around a little bit. After you get over that curve, it's amazing." —Ronald E. Mahler

    Get it from Amazon for $15.99+ (available in six colors).

    12. A book of New York Times crossword puzzles, so you can feel like you solved at least one complicated puzzle in lieu of life itself. Werk!

    Amazon

    Promising review: "My husband absolutely loved this book. Pleasantly challenging but not so hard that he gave up. Also the spiral helps the book to lay flat and the text and the squares are not too small." —Sweetpea

    Get it from Amazon for $9.48.

    13. A brownie pan that'll add chewy edges to every bite...but will also take the edge off the human condition. Can you say "j'adore"?

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "I greased and lightly floured the pan, and the brownies just pop right out, using the cute little spatula that comes with it. But you know what will NOT be cute and little? Me, thanks to this pan. These are hands-down the most delicious brownies I have ever made. I thought about buying this pan a few years ago, and just didn't, but I should have — it worked perfectly." —Bailey's mom

    Get it from Amazon for $35.95.

    14. A charcoal-based toothpaste that'll make your mouth look like a deep, dark void — only to reveal pearly whites underneath when you've rinsed.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Promising review: "Love love love it! It made my mouth feel clean and fresh — and my teeth have been whitened!! I've tried the powder charcoal teeth whitener and I hated it. This product is amazing!" —Misty O'Brien-Barques

    Get it from Amazon for $4.64.

    15. An Instant Pot you can use to whip up delicious meals in a six-quart container so you don't have to pay mind to being six-feet under one day. We have to stan.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "For those of you thinking of getting the Instant Pot pressure cooker, it's a winner! I didn't even blow mine up today as accident prone as I have been. While we were at church, it cooked the pot roast and kept it warm. Got home, turned it off, removed the lid and added fresh carrots, celery and potato chunks, a little cornstarch in water, put the lid on, used the 'steam' feature and in 5-6 minutes we were ready to eat! The meat was moist and delicious and the vegetables finished and tasting like I cooked for hours. I am loving it." —AmazonCustomer

    Get it from Amazon for $59.95+ (available in 3-, 6-, and 8- quart).

    Read BuzzFeed's full review of the Instant Pot for more.

    16. A pair of aerating wine glasses that'll breathe new life into your vino — decant your wine because yacan't stop the clock.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "We tested them by comparing the wine before and after using the glass and there WAS a difference in the quality of the taste. Most items are mostly hype but this one seems to be real. Besides, it's cute to watch it flow." —KHofferMD

    Get a pair from Amazon for $50.

    17. A hanger stacker to keep all your clutter out of sight and out of mind...much like... [motions to the crowd]

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "The struggle with hangers has been real for quite some time, I wish I would have known about this thing sooner! This has saved me a TON of room and hassle!"—Kara

    Get it from Amazon for $16.30 (available in six packs).

    18. A terracota bear that can be placed in brown sugar to keep it fresh and soft. Ah, maybe something gold can stay!

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Promising review: This bear was recommended in a food group I'm in when I complained about my brick of brown sugar. Soaked the bear for 20 minutes or so and tossed it in the bag. After a few hours, about a quarter of the brick had softened. I let it sit overnight and the next morning I was able to dump it into this container. Seriously, this thing is awesome." —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $7.99 (for a set of two).

    19. A pair of grassy flip flops, because human civilization might very well crumble within our lifetimes — but you wouldn't believe how incredible these blades of grass feel between my toes.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I bought these flip-flops for my mom because she loves the feeling of walking on grass, but hates getting her feet dirty. I gave these to her and she thought it was the funniest thing in the world until she put them on — now I can't get her to take them off! Great product for a small investment." —Jackie

    Get it from Amazon for $17.98+ (available in sizes XS-L and three styles).

    20. A bike chain fidget toy to keep your hands busy — just don't let your mind wander to "fidget spinners," or you'll be reminded of a slow death.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This is a great fidget gadget for anyone who needs to play with something to help focus, and not cause a lot of distraction for others while doing so! I bought it for my husband, who CANNOT be still for more than .04 seconds at a time, and will fidget with absolutely anything within reach. A lot of his makeshift 'toys' were driving me up the wall with annoyance listening to the clicks, buzzes, whirring, etc...then I found this!!! It's nearly silent and satisfies his need to play with something. My sanity has been saved!" —Nikkisue

    Get it from Amazon for $12 (available in four colors).

    21. And a drain millipede that'll clear up the passage ways for your running water. Unfortunately, it won't make the passage of time any less murky.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "Never has my flabber been so ghasted. For a sub-$6 tool, this worked amazingly great. Pulled out a 3.5-foot-long hair monster from the shower drain. User tip: when you pull back a little and feel resistance, reinsert the millipede and twist (a pair of pliers helps with this) like your life depended on it. This gets the clog to wrap around the little tines a lot more and gives you stronger leverage to unclog the nasty SOB.

    The times are so clingy, that is near impossible to clean off the hair clog afterwards. Makes this essentially a one use tool, which I'm ok with. I don't have to clean and store a drain snake for a once a year (at most) use." —J.M.

    Get it from Amazon for $5.01 (available in two styles).

    Sony Pictures Classics

    Some reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.

    Looking for more great Amazon finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon, some of the weirdest things on Amazon you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations.

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