1. I was immediately trapped mid-January, thanks to an oiled-up Joe Jonas:
2. Followed by Lewis Tan, who kept me pretty damn warm in the winter:
3. Mahershala Ali ended January by PUTTING ON LAYERS OF CLOTHES yet he STILL managed to trap me up:
4. Then came February and this puppy-trap from Hasan Minhaj, which I'm still slobbering over:
5. The rest of February I spent unconscious, because Trevanthighs:
6. Sterling K. Brown whisked me back into consciousness in March, thanks to this mirror selfie and #pitpromo:
7. April saw a shirtless Zac Efron in the fucking desert...no need to say more:
8. Then in May, Nick Jonas did what he does and TOOK IT OFF:
9. ...But then, Darren Criss took it off better:
10. In June, my daddy issues struck when Mark Ruffalo trapped me with a fucking toothbrush and an unbuttoned pajama top:
11. Followed by Britney Spears' boyfriend who outsold the Mona Lisa with this bathtub 'gram, taken by Spears herself:
12. July came and Olympian Gus Kenworthy trapped me on a snowy mountain for ESPN's "Body Issue":
13. But it wasn't long before I was warmed up by Jay Ellis' glistening summer body:
14. And just when I thought my thirst couldn't handle ANY MORE July traps, I developed a food kink thanks to John Boyega's toast:
15. I almost drowned in August because of Liam Payne, WHOM — might I add — NEVER TRAPPED ME BFORE:
16. After Liam sent my unstable thirst spiraling into an all-time low, I dedicated the rest of August to my Uncle Jesse fantasy thanks to John Stamos' (now deleted) buttstagram:
17. I couldn't stop SKFHSKFJSKDKSJD-ing in September because of Nyle DiMarco's perfect everything:
18. BUT LITTLE DID I KNOW, Henry Cavill and his mustache would DO THIS TO ME in October:
19. Which brings us to November, where Luke Evans decided give us one final trap to be thankful for:
I just want to say thank you. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
