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1. Really effective dental cleaning tablets reviewers love for cleaning retainers, dentures, or mouth guards in under 30 minutes. Say goodbye to that gross toothbrush you used to use every morning.
2. A poop-shaped toilet bomb that will fizz away tough stains and odors, so you barely even have to scrub! Because listen, a clean toilet is a happy toilet.
3. A jet cleaner to evict all that gross brown goo lurking just out of view.
4. A robot vacuum cleaner that will happily follow you around and eat your crumbs. This is 2022 and it's time we all live like the Jetsons.
5. And a robot lawn mower in case you've caught the "let the robots do all my chores" bug. You can create a schedule and tell it where to go (and where to avoid). It can go around obstacles, maneuver through tight paths, detects rain to avoid cutting wet grass, and even knows to return to its charger when it's time. Even Hank Hill would be impressed with your lawn after this!
6. A dog paw-cleaning device to keep Spot's feet squeaky clean, because you can't exactly put hand sanitizer on a dog. (Seriously, do not do that.)
7. A set of Drill Brushes so effective, you'll be shocked how clean your home used to be.
8. A portable cereal cup that lets you eat your breakfast on the move, no spoon or bowl needed.
9. A pair of mop slippers that'll take care of dirty floors while you shuffle around looking for a clean coffee mug in the morning.
10. A mini fabric steamer that'll ease the wrinkles out of your squished clothing faster than it would have taken to pull out the ironing board.
11. Or if you wanna be really speedy, a bottle of Downy wrinkle release spray you can just spray on and watch the wrinkles magically vamoose.
12. A pack of Affresh tablets to make sure the thing making your dishes clean is also clean.
13. A ball of slime putty that'll make cleaning dust out of the nooks and crannies of your life feel like playtime.
14. A scratch pad, aka the dog version of a scratching post so they can file their own darn nails down. Raise your hand (paw) if you're sick of the chaos that comes with trying to clip your pet's nails.
15. A magnetic meal planning pad with a detachable shopping list so you don't have to hem and haw about what to make for dinner.
16. The Pink Stuff, an all-purpose paste that you can use to clean basically anything. Scrubbing will be a thing of the past. And the future? Sparkly clean items as far as the eye can see.
Promising review: "Oh my gosh — this stuff is a life-changer! Used it to get my fiberglass shower totally clean. Nothing else would get it done and this stuff brought my shower back to near new in one use. We’ve since cleaned a weird chalky film off our garage door, removed wall markings, and cleaned my storm door. We’ll never be without a jar (or three) of this stuff. Worth every penny." —Nancy F.
Get it from Amazon for $8.99.
17. A pair of nail clippers with a handy compartment to catch all the stray clippings so you don't have to weirdly contort your body to angle your toes over the trashcan.
18. A pet hair remover that'll quickly pull all the fur off your belongings. It turns out that white fur coat you own is actually a black denim jacket???
19. A jewelry cleaning pen you can count on to add new shine to your gems, no long trip to the jeweler needed.
20. A tub of heavy-duty cleaning wipes to reach for before opting for heavier cleaning appliances that take forever to set up.
21. A portable personal blender so you can start every morning with a nutritious breakfast even if you have to have it while running out the door.
22. A pack of melamine cleaning sponges that can take on even the toughest stains (think: marker on your freshly painted walls). You just need water and a healthy dose of fear of your guests judging you!
23. A set of self-tying shoelaces because only slowpokes have time to deal with laces.
24. A watermark remover for anyone who wishes they could turn back time to before their rude guests forgot to put down coasters. This is the next best thing!
25. And beeswax wood polish and conditioner to give your furniture an impossibly lustrous shine previously never seen in your home. And all in record time.
26. A folding board that lets you harness the tools of the retail professionals and get perfect and fast folds every time.
27. Slow cooker liners so you don't have to yank the heavy pot out of the cooker to clean it. Bags! Gotta love 'em.
28. A rust removing gel spray – you may be tempted to say "abra cadabra" as you use it. It's that magical!
29. A no-rinse soap that removes an entire step from hand-washing your clothes, making the whole process easier and faster.
30. A jalapeno corer so you can get rid of unwanted seeds in a flash and minimize the risk of you slicing your hand open.
31. A John Frieda hot hair brush for when you wanna look like you have an in-home stylist at your beck and call.
32. An egg cooker so you can set it and forget it, instead of impatiently tapping your foot waiting for the water to boil.
33. An Oven Cleaning Kit complete with oven scrub, all-purpose cleaners, and a metallic sponge to help you get your oven into tip-top shape in no time at all. It's made in small batches with natural ingredients so it's safe for your family, pets, and home.
34. An eyeliner with a triangle-shaped stamp so you can just stamp and go. No more erasing and retrying one million times!
35. An electric pressure washer to help you blast away every speck of dirt on your outdoor furniture.
36. An undemanding journal that just requires a single line each day. I think you can manage that.
37. And a digital file for Croc plows so you can shuffle yourself a little path through the snow and avoid shoveling until...later.
Me immediately after getting my chores done:
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