"Gunpowder Milkshake" Finally Has A Trailer, And It's Clear From The Cast That Someone's Been Reading My Diary

    Just two words for you: Paul. Giamatti.

    Every once in a while, a movie comes out so uniquely tailored to my interests as a human being, I can't help but think: Has someone been reading my (imaginary) diary?

    And that thought sure as heck crossed my mind this morning when the first trailer for Gunpowder Milkshake dropped, because y'all! It! Has! Everything! We! Could! Want! No, really! Check it out:

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    The story follows Sam (Karen Gillan), an assassin who works with an all-female squad, made up of the trio of my dreams — Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh, and Carla Gugino.

    However, after a job gone wrong, Sam has to take a young, kidnapped girl (Chloe Coleman) into her protection, much to the dismay of her ~higher-ups~.

    So, naturally, the good(?)-guys-turned-bad-guys send all of their guns after her and her new recruit, which forces Sam to have to work alongside her estranged, fellow-assassin mother — played by none other than Lena Freakin' Headey!

    So, basically, Gunpowder Milkshake looked me in the eyes and said, "How about we make John Wick, but with Kill Bill themes?" and, in response, I said "Why are we still talking? Take my money NOW."

    Oh, and — as if all of that wasn't enough — Paul Giamatti is in this! PAUL. GIAMATTI.

    Also, only semi-related, but the title? It's just...just sick. Like, that's an awesome title. A+ on the title, everyone.

    So, uh, yeah. There ya have it! Be sure to catch all of the badassery that is sure to be Gunpowder Milkshake when it hits Netflix July 14!