Hi, I'm Allie. You don't need to know anything about me, except that I have an odd habit of going way too hard for late '90s movies that are actual masterworks that no one seems to talk about.
With that in mind, I started thinking about another HIGHLY underappreciated film that I love which has, frankly, never gotten the attention it deserves: Ever After.
So I made a list of reasons why this 1998 movie is THE best fairytale retelling of all time (yeah, I said it). Here we go:
1. Danielle de Barbarac (Drew Barrymore) is a perfect lead character, and what every princess should be.
2. She's strong, witty, and cunning in all the right ways, which leaves you no choice but to root for her.
3. And — like a living, breathing, human woman — she also gets to retain all sense of vulnerability, and isn't depicted as "weak" for displaying her emotions. More! Of! This! Please!
4. Plus, she straight-up punches her least-likable stepsister in the face for being a huge meanie. You love to see it!
5. In the end she, quite literally, saves herself from that creepy man before the prince can save her. She doesn't need the prince, but she wants to be with him, and THAT'S A BETTER LOVE STORY. IT JUST IS.
6. Speaking of her dashing prince-to-be, Henry is also an exceptional character. He's given an actual personality besides "Prince Charming" and, get this, a whole-ass character arc!
7. He starts off as kind of a tool, learns to be a better dude on his own accord by simply engaging intellectually with Danielle, goes back to being kind of a tool (because heartbreak), realizes his mistake, and GROWS. WE LOVE GROWTH.
8. Also, the scene when he interrupts his own arranged marriage because he realizes that both he and his betrothed are in love with poor people? Hilarious. Art. 11/10.
9. Plus, he says some hella romantic stuff and, frankly, is pretty dreamy. Like, will you just look at that hair?! The prince from Shrek 2 could NEVER.
10. Heck, even his PARENTS — the King and Queen of France — are pretty darn funny and engaging. This movie is iconic!
11. And do NOT even get me started on the fabulousness that is Danielle's nasty stepmother (literal god walking among us, Anjelica Houston). She's I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E in this movie. Those eyebrows deserve an Academy Award!
12. This character walked so Angelina Jolie's interpretation of Maleficent could run. There, I said it.
13. Every single character in this movie is so well-crafted. They are all given SOME semblance of humanity, and there's no better example of this than Danielle's more-likable stepsister, Jacqueline (Melanie Lynskey).
14. Like, seriously, name a sicker use of reincorporation for a burn?! I'll wait.
15. Also, Leonardo da Vinci is, like, a central character to the plot?!
16. He swears?!
17. Honestly, he's a sass-machine and ridiculously quotable. This movie has absolutely everything!
18. And finally — fun fact — this film invented body glitter. Don't fact check that. It's true. I promise.
So there ya have it. This movie is amazing and deserves more love. If you haven't seen it, watch it. And if you haven't seen it in a while, WATCH IT AGAIN.
