Many of the women featured in these roundups are also members of the WGA, so make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
imagine being glen powell’s gf and seeing that he cheated on you w sydney sweeney and everyone’s reaction is “real hollywood is back! that’s showbiz baby!”
4.
When a situation like the Tucker Carlson firing happens, rather than react with glee, I try to take a beat to think through who might be most affected by the fallout. I’ve done that & now I want to say, I feel really bad for alcohol.
5.
I heard a strange sound on the baby monitor so I went to check the dog is on the chair looking guilty and the baby has dog hair in his mouth
8.
Every viral tweet now has like 9 followups from the author like: My husband got me flowers! I wanted to clarify my husband and I do equal housework I did not know tulip farms were so bad for the environment, sorry I apologize that this was insensitive to people with allergies
10.
the worst high i had was when i took some delta 8 gummies someone from tiktok gave me .. i ate the whole pack cause i didn’t feel high… 1 hour later i woke up 2 days later
11.
i had to transcribe prison phone calls in college & the no.1 thing I learned was that if you’re in a gang you do NOT get severance if you go to prison. you are ON those phones! you are WORKING remote! 10 to 15 at a desk job baby! logistics! gang HR! and tbh it ran pretty smooth
12.
This $725 mil facebook settlement is hilarious when split between the 3 billion users. Quick! go claim your 35 cents!!
13.
You just can’t expect me to hit play on a show or movie with this color scheme. It’s not for me. I respect it but I’m not behind it
14.
one time we were watching wrestling and a guy took out a huge barrel of thumbtacks and poured it all over another guy and the ring, and i gasped and then went "oh. aww". and my husband looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time and said "you thought that was glitter."
15.
novels are so great. novels are like "i made up a little weirdo. oh no, now he's in trouble!"
18.
12yo: I’ve been thinking about something. So, Wario and Waluigi are the opposite of Mario and Luigi in every way. Therefore since Mario and Luigi’s jobs are to unclog toilets, Wario and Waluigi’s jobs must be to clog toilets
19.
Suddenly remembered back when I worked at Blockbuster, a mom came in and watched her kids run around and spill popcorn all over the floor while she shopped like nothing was happening. So when she came to the register I handed her a broom 😂😂😂. I miss young me, she was bold😂
20.
IT HAPPENED TO ME: I finally met someone who actually says the word “achoo” when she sneezes
22.
I had a carpenter bee repeatedly landing on my arms and face and licking me today. I licked my arm to figure out wtf was going on but it just tasted like plain arm. What the hell was that about.
23.
they love to tell us that q-tips are both incredibly dangerous *and* not even good at removing ear wax. hmmm interesting so you’re saying your enemy is both weak and strong at the same time??? where have I heard that before???
24.
men will literally spend decades asking about the mysterious green ribbon around your neck instead of going to therapy
25.
I think my therapist just fired me because she “doesn’t understand all this online stuff”. She asked me if I wanted to talk to someone my own age 😭
26.
I fucking hate how long it took me to realize that that isn't a crazy weird Grinch mountain in Starry Night but a cypress tree in the foreground
27.
a year into our relationship we were staying at his mum’s place and I started making the bed one morning and he said “babe stop! my mum will do that, she LOVES making the bed for me” https://t.co/wlRP29dCLu
28.
An IT guy is remotely controlling my work computer and the last thing I searched was Taylor Swift height and then because it gave me the answer in meters, I searched Taylor swift height in feet!!! This is HUMILIATING 😭😭😭
29.
as a society we’re underutilizing bread bowls. like what else could we put in there
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women in March:
If You Don't Cackle Like A Hyena At These 35 Viral Tweets By Women, You Have No Sense Of Humor