Help!! I Physically Cannot Stop Laughing At These 21 Hysterical Viral Tweets By Women
"the best part of starting a new job is all 4 of your grandparents are alive again." —@roastmalone_
The Writers Guild of America went on strike this week, and I hope you'll join me in publicly voicing your support! Everyone deserves to be paid a fair and livable wage.
Writer’s Assistant, Showrunner Assistant and Script Coordinators all got let go this week from their rooms when we called the strike so if you want to support, maybe consider supporting them. Donate to the Entertainment Community Funds. https://t.co/eL1etvdE1W
— Caroline “WGA Captain” Renard (@carolinerenard_) May 4, 2023
Many of the women featured in these weekly roundups are also members of the WGA, so make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
5yo; “Mommy, I think when I grow up, I might change my name to a grownup name because my name is a little kid’s name. Maybe I’ll use my middle name. My name is such a baby name! I want a grown up name when I’m a grown up.”
— Stephanie Insley Hershinow (@S_Insley_H) May 3, 2023
Reader, his name is HARVEY.
2.
i’ve had sex with one british guy and he went “ooo that’s lovely” the whole fuckin time https://t.co/poJ5CjAeRo
— multitude container (@bartleby_era) May 4, 2023
3.
I just accidentally uploaded this instead of my invoice on a company's invoicing portal and I can't delete it pic.twitter.com/Bxg8RRy4ha
— Amelia Tait (@ameliargh) May 5, 2023
4.
My dad left me what I thought was a ring in his will. It was kinda small and as I was trying to get it on my finger he goes "Oh. It's not a ring, it's your circumcision foreskin. We had it bronzed".
— Brandy Bryant🏳️⚧️ (@InkMasterbator) May 5, 2023
5.
fighting with airport security about whether or not my jar of spaghetti counts as a liquid (yes I know sauce is liquid but I think the cooked spaghetti cancels it out. It’s not like it’s SOUP). guess I’m just gonna have to eat it while my TSA agent watches
— meredith (@dietz_meredith) May 4, 2023
6.
Sorry but in what context did my phone think I was going to say “Butthole” here?? pic.twitter.com/Ck8PVQFS2w
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 5, 2023
iPhone suggestions: "but, butthole, butter"
Twitter: @missmulrooney
7.
i wish all old men that wanted to hit on me did it like this italian man who played the piano in this cafe beautifully for an hour and then came up to me afterwards to say "i played only for you" and shake my hand
— irα!! (is in tiranë apr 24 - mar 14) (@solarsystern) May 4, 2023
8.
I just need to tell you that someone on riverdale just drank a milkshake out of the holy grail
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) May 3, 2023
9.
Oh Buddy. You’ve done more than make them think about it. You’ve bonded them forever in a group text where one of them will share a wedding photo or promotion news and one of the others will say “i don’t know, SMELLS LIKE FAILURE.” And then they’ll all die laughing. pic.twitter.com/Di1M62gZuN
— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) May 5, 2023
Twitter: @baddestmamajama
10.
love when a girl named Catherine goes by Cat. like you made the best of a bad situation
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 4, 2023
11.
imagine beefing with NPR like it's just just a collective of the most gentle rumpled nerds named Maureen and Alfonse they are no threat to you they just want to record ambient sounds on your farm and tell stories
— Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) May 3, 2023
12.
It’s going to be a long night. 🧚♀️ pic.twitter.com/BrppcR0zJK
— Lindsay Hameroff (@HameroffLindsay) May 4, 2023
Twitter: @HameroffLindsay
13.
thinking again about how the woman who did my hair and makeup for my wedding was also a spirit medium, and when i asked her if there were any spirits stuck to me she said "i'm sensing some anxious energy?" and i was like "that's just me, sorry"
— cait (@punished_cait) May 2, 2023
14.
thinking about this pic.twitter.com/WENAKZ42ai
— han (@hannaweeny) May 1, 2023
Person 1, a day later: "So I've just read your blog. And I take that back, I'm so sorry"
Twitter: @hannaweeny
15.
The funniest thing about meds is when you stop taking them out of curiosity for a while to see if you are actually crazy and for a while you feel great and then one day you are like why does everyone in this grocery store HATE me
— Ash 🌙 (@H1TWOM4N) April 30, 2023
16.
the best part of starting a new job is all 4 of your grandparents are alive again.
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) April 30, 2023
17.
My daughter left a full glass of milk on the stairs and in a ~shocking twist~ the milk got kicked over and there is milk everywhere and she is crying because she was still drinking that. Gotta feel bad for her, there's no way anyone could have predicted that outcome.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 4, 2023
18.
nobody is wearing necklaces to this years met gala because of what happened to HER pic.twitter.com/XfcRzBfb8Q
— Rachael (@markruffaloTD) May 1, 2023
19.
The most feminist thing a guy can do before a break up is be kind of a dick so that the girl has time to detach and feel more relieved than sad when it officially ends
— abby govindan (@abbygov) April 28, 2023
20.
drama in the school whatsapp chat! the PTA invited us all to a coronation party and one of the dads (who's a professor of colonial history) said eat my dick
— Emma Szewczak (@EmmaSzewczak) May 3, 2023
21.
my friend once went to the hospital for alcohol poisoning and he came back to our dorm the next morning still drunk bragging about how he got the nurses number. so we all called bullshit and asked him to show us and he pulled up her contact and the number was just "8"
— Callista 🏳️⚧️🔆 (@WIFEMODER) May 4, 2023
Don't miss last week's funniest tweets by women:
These 25 Hilarious Viral Tweets By Women Will Brighten Your Entire Day