I Ranked 133 Celeb's Bathrooms From Best To Worst, And I'm Honestly SHOCKED By How Many Are Ugly And Dysfunctional

Money can't buy you class, but it CAN help celebrities buy some truly horrific looking bathrooms 🤑🚽

My favorite part of Architectural Digest's Open Door tours is when celebrities tell us how to use a room that virtually all of us already know how to use.

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"This is my living room. I really love to just come in here and relax." Oh, so you, like...live in this room? Groundbreaking.

But there's one room in almost every tour that comes without any explanation of how to use it: the bathroom.

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Everyone knows home is where the bathroom is. 

Bathrooms are where parents hide from their kids, introverts escape crowded parties, and many a hypothetical argument is won in the shower. But most importantly, bathrooms are where everyone poops.

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Hello, bathroom, my old friend. I've come to poop in you again.

So, I watched every Architectural Digest Open Door and ranked all 133 celebrity bathrooms from best to worst — based on style, vibes, and the ultimate metric: "Would I poop in here?"

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Criteria may change subject to mood and urgency.💩

🚽 Starting with the crème de la crème:

1. Bryce Dallas Howard's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Bryce has a great eye for powder rooms. All of hers have fun patterns that invite you to make yourself comfortable while you settle in for a nice long deuce.

Conclusion: Not only would I poop in here, but I would pay Bryce Dallas Howard for the privilege.

2. Daveed Diggs and Emmy Raver-Lampman's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is a great bathroom on its own, but the reason it's so high on the list is because of the Bay Area-themed wallpaper, which was designed by Matt Ritchie and The Lonely Island. Incredible.

Conclusion: I would poop in here while blasting one of the greatest songs ever written.

3. Jennifer Aniston's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I don't like camping, but I love the illusion of camping. There's nothing quite as comforting as taking a shit in "nature" while surrounded by all the modern luxuries of toilet paper and running water.

Conclusion: I would 10000% poop in here.

4. Rita Ora's attic bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom is bright, spacious for its shape, and well-designed. I appreciate the simplicity and privacy.

Conclusion: I wouldn't just poop in here; I'd make a day of it.

5. Vanessa Hudgens's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I love how warm and inviting this room is. It feels like Vanessa really wants to provide her guests with a peaceful pooping experience.

Conclusion: I would love to poop in here.

6. Meg Ryan's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Beautiful, clean, and bright — right out of a Nora Ephron film. I would expect nothing less from a rom-com legend like Meg.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, but tbh, I'd feel a bit bad about it because this room is just so beautiful.

7. Justina Blakeney's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Justina mentioned that she combined two smaller bathrooms to make this large one, which is kind of brilliant. It's spacious without feeling too open to the elements, and the toilet is hidden behind saloon-style doors for extra privacy.

Conclusion: I would be ecstatic to poop in this bathroom.

8. Nina Dobrev's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

An emerging trend on this list seems to be that I would happily poop in any well-tiled bathroom, and Nina's primary bath is no different. 

Conclusion: I wouldn't kill to poop in here, but I would consider it for a hot second.

9. Naomi Campbell's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Every part of Naomi's home is bright, airy, and beautiful, and this bathroom is no different.

Conclusion: I would feel extremely rich pooping behind columns.

10. Liv Tyler's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is a very nice bathroom, but the highlight for me was when Liv gestured to the shower and serenely explained that "these are called subway tiles" — as if everyone and their mother hasn't been putting subway tiles in their bathroom and/or kitchen backsplash for over a decade.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, provided I get a subway car all to myself.

11. Demi Lovato's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The best bathrooms to poop in are cozy and relaxing. They keep you from clenching with anxiety and just let things flow. This is that bathroom.

Conclusion: I'm moving into this bathroom, so I hope Demi tolerates squatters (pun absolutely intended).

12. Troye Sivan's sister's bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The house is Troye's, but his sister lives with him — and her bathroom is absolutely gorgeous. I especially love the color scheme and skylight.

Conclusion: If I was ever given the honor of pooping in this bathroom, I would talk about it for the rest of my life.

13. Liv Tyler's hall bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is a quintessential rich-person-in-NYC bathroom. Love it. I'm surprised that Liv has such muted taste, considering who her father is.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

14. Jared and Genevieve Padalecki’s primary bath

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I wanted to put this bathroom lower on the list because it's probably a bit echo-y, but the hidden entrance is just so cool.

Conclusion: I would poop in here and feel secure in the knowledge that no one would accidentally walk in on me.

15. Vanessa Carlton's guest bath

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This is just a classic, simple bathroom.

Conclusion: You know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could poop here tonight.

16. Cara and Poppy Delevingne's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Against all odds, I'm obsessed with this bathroom. Something about green-forward walls in bathrooms really speaks to me.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

17. Lance Armstrong's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is a perfectly fine bathroom, but the real selling point is Lance's Squatty Potty, which he bought because Bryan Cranston talked about how much he loved them.

Conclusion: I would have the healthiest poop of my life in here. (Seriously, Squatty Potties are AMAZING. 10/10, absolutely recommend.)

18. Lance Armstrong's basement bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Again, this bathroom ranks high on the list because Lance proudly declared, "There's another Squatty Potty. That's two for $50 on Amazon!"

Conclusion: I would poop in here while contemplating whether Lance is sponsored by Amazon.

19. Hilary Duff's daughter's bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I know that bright pink tiled bathrooms are very much a taste thing, but I looooove them. I genuinely want this bathroom in my own home.

Conclusion: If I could, I would poop in here forever.

20. Molly Sims's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The lighting and decor is perfect. It almost feels like a hotel bathroom (in a good way).

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

21. JJ Redick's wife's primary bath

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I'm kind of a sucker for a bathroom that pulls off gold accents without going overboard. This room is gorgeous.

Conclusion: I would poop in here. Or live in here. I'll take what I can get.

22. Robert Downey Jr.'s primary bath

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Excellent funky bathroom design. No notes.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

23. JJ Redick's powder room

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The wallpaper in this bathroom was inspired by a Louis Vuitton bag design, which is kinda cool. Love the counter/mirror/light setup.

Conclusion: I would take a luxury poop in here.

24. Chelsea Handler's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is the dream toilet setup: lots of light, separate room, high-tech Japanese toilet.

Conclusion: I had the best poop of my life in Japan, so I imagine I'd feel nearly euphoric pooping in here.

25. Ariel Fulmer and Ned Fulmer's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Ariel Fulmer is an excellent interior designer, so I'm not surprised that she remodeled this bathroom very well. And I guess Ned (formerly of The Try Guys) was there, too — or, maybe he was somewhere else with someone else! Who's to say?

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

26. Jesse Tyler Ferguson's pool house bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I love the design of this bathroom, and the arched turquoise doorway really elevates the space.

Conclusion: I would love to poop in here.

27. Tan France's husband's bathroom

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Any married couple who can afford separate bathrooms can and should pay for that expense. Truly, what a gift.

Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom, and Tan wouldn't even know I'm there because he has his own personal pooping bathroom.

28. J Balvin's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I like the energy in this bathroom! It would feel like I'm pooping in nature, as our caveman ancestors intended.

Conclusion: I would love to poop in here.

29. Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom is gorgeous, but I'd be slightly worried about what their neighbors across the street might see.

Conclusion: I would very cautiously poop in here.

30. Tan France's bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's a cute bathroom! I like Tan's husband's more because of the shower setup, but this one has natural light and a separate toilet area, which is THE DREAM.

Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom, and Tan's husband wouldn't even know I'm there because he has his own personal pooping bathroom.

🚽🚽 Then, we have the "nice, but nothing special" bathrooms:

31. Liv Tyler's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I really love when celebs have bathrooms that look like something us peasants could afford if we saved up a little bit. The walls are loud, but the toilet is humble.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

32. Hilary Duff's son's bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Hilary's bathrooms are all well decorated, and I love the tile in this shower.

Conclusion: Yes, pooping would occur in this bathroom.

33. Rainn Wilson's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is your standard gorgeous bathroom in a home on a pig farm. Love it.

Conclusion: In the words of Dwight Schrute, "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing." And an idiot wouldn't take a shit in this bathroom — so I would. Simple.

34. Ariel Fulmer and Ned Fulmer's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Once again, Ariel designed the heck out of this bathroom. Gee, Ned sure hit the jackpot with her!

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

35. David Dobrik's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is simply a very nice bathroom.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, because David is known for fostering shitty environments.

36. Scott Disick's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I think I was expecting everything in Scott's house to be as off-putting as he is, so this perfectly nice powder room was quite a surprise. Points deducted for the towel laying directly on the counter (how is it supposed to dry??).

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

37. Alessandra Ambrosio's pool house bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

For reasons completely unknown, Alessandra thought this bathroom would be the perfect place to display all the hats from her hat line. Weird. Hilarious. Obsessed with this design choice.

Conclusion: I would poop next to those hats.

38. John Legend and Chrissy Teigen’s primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Why is there a dry towel hanging IN the shower???

Conclusion: I would poop in here, provided the toilet paper isn't IN the toilet.

39. Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Great bathroom, but all I can focus on is that tiny chair. Is it meant to be sat on? Can it withstand an adult human's weight?? Wouldn't the placement imply that it's meant to be sat on naked (and wet????!!!!)????? Weird. Anyway...

Conclusion: I would poop in here, provided the toilet is less weird than the chair.

40. Mark Ronson's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Excellent wallpaper, great vibes.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

41. Jesse Tyler Ferguson's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is a classic bathroom that seems moderately accessible to the lowly poors like me who dream of one day owning a home with a nice bathroom.

Conclusion: I hope that by the time I reach retirement age, I'll be able to afford a bathroom like this to poop in.

42. Michael Kors's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The room is plain, but the lighting is good, and the door is thick.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, preferably while wearing a pair of MK's signature sunglasses just to get the whole Michael Kors Pooping Experience™️.

43. G-Eazy's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom is separated into three little spaces: the toilet (behind its own wood door), the counter (open to the rest of the bedroom), and the sauna shower (behind its own glass door). It's a smart setup.

Conclusion: I would definitely poop in here.

44. Tommy Hilfiger's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's a nice, light bathroom, but here's the thing: His entire apartment costs $50 million, and it's in the Plaza Hotel in NYC. So, as nice as this bathroom is, I expected something better because of the price.

Conclusion: I would poop in here and hope that Tommy spent some of that money on gold-lined toilet paper.

45. Troye Sivan's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom isn't particularly special in any way, but I love the coziness, and the skylight bumps up its place on the list significantly.

Conclusion: I would get my daily dose of vitamin D while pooping in this bathroom.

46. Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent's primary bath

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It's a bit busy, but I love the windows and how everything is laid out.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

47. Kacey Musgraves's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I'm obsessed with this bathroom. There's so much art and detail to look at that you wouldn't even need to scroll on Twitter while you're in there.

Conclusion: The only reason this bathroom isn't higher on the list is because I'd feel guilty for pooping in a room this beautiful...but I wouldn't not poop in here.

48. Matty Matheson's restaurant bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Like most people, I'd prefer not to poop in a public restroom. But this bright, single-occupancy restaurant bathroom is an exception.

Conclusion: It would be an honor and privilege to poop in the private oasis that is the Prime Seafood Palace restroom.

49. Cara Delevingne's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Like with so many primary bathrooms on this list, we don't get a clear view of the toilet. But the rest of the bathroom seems nice, and I love all the natural light.

Conclusion: Sure, I'd poop in here as long as Cara isn't home. (She scares me.)

50. Jessica Alba's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I don't love how echo-y and HUGE this bathroom is, but the color scheme is nice.

Conclusion: I would poop in here and pray for silence.

51. Ellen Pompeo's primary bath

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Are those feet on the wall? It's literally all I can focus on.

Conclusion: I would poop in here just to solve the Foot Art Mystery of 2k23.

52. Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I've shit* on some of Nate and Jeremiah's interior design choices before, but I love this bathroom. It's cozy, functional, and homey.

*pun very much intended

Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom as many times as Nate and Jeremiah let me.

53. Taylor Hill's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is a perfectly nice and functional bathroom. I like the striped walls and window area.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

54. Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Maggie and Peter's design aesthetic is fun and interesting, and this bathroom is pretty cool.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I'd rather poke around to see if Taylor Swift's red scarf is hidden away somewhere.

55. Bryce Dallas Howard's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This room serves its purpose, and there's nothing more I need to say about it.

Conclusion: Give me this room and a phone, and it would be a fine poop.

56. Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent's daughter's dollhouse bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This toy flushes like a real toilet, which is pretty fun — but I don't love how three sides of the dollhouse is open to the entire room for anyone to peek in.

Conclusion: If I were a teeny tiny doll, I would poop in here.

57. John Legend and Chrissy Teigen’s guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's fine!!

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

58. Jesse Tyler Ferguson's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I love a cozy powder room with a window. This bathroom is elevated to elite status because of the wall art: the famous photo of Julie Bowen staring at Sofía Vergara's chest, which is a recreation of the even famous-er photo of Sophia Loren and Jayne Mansfield.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

59. David Harbour's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

David said he made this room dim and sauna-like, which is why I don't mind how dark it is. I love the colors and light fixtures.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

60. Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Even though I don't like their personal style for the most part, I love how they prioritize function when designing a room.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

61. Hannah Bronfman and Brendan Fallis's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's cute and cozy, but nothing special.

Conclusion: I would poop in here as long as the plant doesn't tickle me while I'm on the toilet.

62. Mark Ronson's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I love when a primary bath doesn't shy away from wall art.

Conclusion: I would poop in here while admiring the decor.

63. Hilary Swank's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is one of several all-marble bathrooms on this list, but it ranks a bit higher than the others because it's cozy and the sink is nice.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

64. Jared and Genevieve Padalecki’s powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It looks nice enough.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

65. Bryce Dallas Howard's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's nice, if a little too big.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

🚽🚽🚽 Moving on to the "extremely dark, all marble, and/or needlessly large" bathrooms:

66. Kirsten Dunst's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's a cute bathroom. I hate that vintage copper tub. Excellent counter space.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

67. John Legend and Chrissy Teigen’s primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I'm kind of confused by the wall situation (does it go all the way up to the ceiling??), but this is otherwise a nice bathroom.

Conclusion: All of me loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. (That's what I would sing to the toilet bowl right before I poop in here.)

68. Cara Delevingne's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Dark bathrooms are having their moment in interior design right now, and I don't love it. But this bathroom is nice enough. Hate that towel resting directly on the counter.

Conclusion: I would scroll TikTok while pooping in here.

69. Kirsten Dunst's hall bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The only notable thing about this bathroom is that the door used to be Jackie O's. That's cool, I guess?

Conclusion: *thick Boston accent* Ask not what your bathroom can do for you — ask what you can do for your bathroom. (You can poop in it.)

70. Aaron Paul's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Aaron Paul took his snowy Idaho surroundings into consideration when designing this home, which is why I actually like how dark and cavernous this bathroom is.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, bitch.

71. Lily Aldridge's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I love the way this bathroom is decorated, but the doors are glass, which makes me question how private it really is.

Conclusion: It's just a bit too exposed to comfortably poop in here, but I would uncomfortably poop in here.

72. Jensen and Denneel Ackles's basement powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

We don't actually see inside this powder room, but the rest of their house is well-decorated, and the door is very thick.

Conclusion: I would feel very secure pooping in this bathroom behind the thick sound barrier.

73. Ashley Tisdale's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Solid setup. Love the TV above the bath.

Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom.

74. Misty Copeland's guest bath

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I like this room. It's the platonic ideal of what a hotel bathroom in an upscale ski lodge should look like.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

75. Kacey Musgraves's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Kacey has great bathrooms, but I would once again feel too guilty to poop in here. It's just so CLEAN, y'know?

Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I wouldn't be able to look Kacey in the eye after.

76. Binging with Babish's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is a solid bathroom all around.

Conclusion: I would love pooping in here after eating one of the many excellent Binging with Babish recipes.

77. Emma Chamberlain's pool house bathroom

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I love a good pool house bathroom!

Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom.

78. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Ah yes, another plain bathroom with stone floors, a glass shower, and a soaking tub. We get it, you're a rich minimalist.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

79. Ashley Tisdale's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

If you're having a bit of déjà vu right now, it's because I just ranked Ashley Tisdale's primary bath. This is a different one in a different house, because she's inexplicably the only person in the world who enjoys moving every year. Oh, to be rich with a contractor dad.

Conclusion: This bathroom used to be a whole-ass bedroom, which is a weird renovation choice to make. It's fine, but too big. I would poop in here.

80. Gwyneth Paltrow's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Gwyneth said, "I feel very grown up when I pee in here," and I assume that feeling applies to pooping as well.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

81. Sienna Miller's cottage bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom is nondescript and a bit cramped, but it has everything you'd need in a bathroom (namely, a toilet). Unfortunately, I have to dock a few points because of the wall-less shower, which I will rail against as many times as necessary until interior designers stop! doing! this! shit!!!!!!

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

82. Jesse Tyler Ferguson's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The toilet is weirdly close to the counter, which felt gross to me until I remembered that's pretty standard in every house and apartment that a regular person could afford.

Conclusion: I would take a shadowy poop in here.

83. Zedd's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

There is nothing unique or interesting about this bathroom. It is fine.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

84. Vanessa Carlton's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Vanessa used the same designer for her primary and guest baths, but this one feels a little more sterile and less welcoming. I miss the coziness and more gold-forward accents of the first bathroom.

Conclusion: I would not walk a thousand miles for this bathroom, but I might walk, like...five miles? And that's still more than I usually walk in a day!!

85. Aaron Paul's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom isn't quite as cozy as Aaron's primary bath, but it's still cute and functional with its rustic/industrial design.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

86. Nicole Scherzinger's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Nicole said she wanted a bathroom that's "very white and clean," but that kinda just translates to boring.

Conclusion: I would poop in here. (Here's your obligatory "don't cha wish your girlfriend would poop like me?" joke.)

87. Michael Kors's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I've ranked so many bathrooms at this point that I genuinely feel like I'm losing my mind. Most of them are either very small and dark or bright and way too big. I don't like either option!!!!! Give me small and bright any day.

Conclusion: All that being said, I would still poop in here.

88. Jesse Tyler Ferguson's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

If there's one thing I've learned from watching all these AD tours, it's that celebrities LOVE putting custom wallpaper in their bathrooms. They can't get enough of it. I, on the other hand, rarely find wallpaper noteworthy. Sorry, Jesse!

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

89. Jensen and Danneel Ackles's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Love the light in here, but the room is too spacious and echo-y for my taste. The toilet has its own humble room behind a very thin door, but Jensen seems to be weirdly proud of it nonetheless.

Conclusion: I would take a quiet poop in here.

90. Kendall Jenner's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's fine. The LITERAL gold tub seems impractical, but it's not like I'd poop in it, so I guess practicality doesn't really matter.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

🚽🚽🚽🚽 Uh oh, we've reached the dreaded "why on earth would someone want to do this??" section:

91. Tommy Hilfiger's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Tommy doesn't do anything halfway and has the money to execute every design idea he's ever had. So, in a weird way, I give him props for this thoroughly heinous bathroom.

Conclusion: I would poop in here and probably catch my reflection from 12 different angles on all this chrome.

92. Ellen Pompeo's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I hate when bathrooms have marble floors AND walls. I like the outdoor area.

Conclusion: I bet no smells linger in this bathroom because of that wall-sized window, so I would poop in here.

93. Tommy Hilfiger's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Tommy said he wanted this bathroom to be "groovy, contemporary, and mod." He achieved his goal, but to what end?

Conclusion: I would take a very dizzy poop in here.

94. Alexandre de Betak's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I can't put my finger on it, but something about the vibe of this bathroom is off for me. But I like the bench.

Conclusion: I guess I would poop in here?? But I might bring a crystal in with me just to be safe.

95. Neil Patrick Harris's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is an extremely average bathroom.

Conclusion: I would take a very boring poop in here.

96. Nyjah Huston's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Was there a convention where celebs agreed that they're only allowed to have, like, three kinds of bathrooms? Wtf is going on!!!???

Conclusion: I would take an extremely basic poop in here.

97. Scott Disick's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The spacing in here is so weird, and there's an uncomfortable amount of fabric for a room that can get super humid.

Conclusion: I would poop in here if I ever found myself in Scott Disick's house, but the chances of that are quite literally zero.

98. Ricky Martin's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Like several men on this list who've faced allegations of one kind or another, I hesitate to compliment their homes too effusively. Thankfully, I don't like this bathroom anyway, so I'm not conflicted on how to rank it.

Conclusion: I would poop in here if no one was home, I guess.

99. Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom is fine, but it's kind of hard to focus on anything other than how Behati is so deeply out of Adam's league, and it's mind-boggling that he might have cheated on her.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, especially if I was inconveniencing Adam while he impatiently waited for the bathroom.

100. Connor McDavid's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The thing about marble walls and floors is that everything echoes like crazy — which is the absolute last thing you want in a bathroom. But the toilet is in its own area, which would hopefully dampen the noise a bit.

Conclusion: I would poop in this bathroom, but I would be self-conscious the entire time.

101. Naomi Campbell's guest house bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Nothing about this bathroom stands out, but I love that she has a toilet and separate bidet. That shows a commitment to butt cleanliness that America really needs to adopt.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, and I would have a blast.*

*Because of the bidet. Get it?

102. Emma Chamberlain's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The color scheme and design choices in this bathroom are not for me, but that's a personal preference thing that I can get over (other than the doorless shower, which is an ugly, impractical trend that needs to disappear before it ruins every full bath in America).

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

103. Troye Sivan's wine cellar-turned-bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I feel like a sinister cartoon bear would lure me into this former wine cellar-turned-bathroom under the guise of showing me a rare cask of Charmintillado and entomb me while I'm pooping.

Conclusion: Call me Fortunado, because I'd poop in here out of sheer curiosity.

104. Tyrese Gibson's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Tyrese says this bathroom has "marble floors from floor to ceiling" AND "marble curtains." (!!!!!!????) I'm starting to accept that half of these bathrooms will be all-marble monstrosities.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, provided the toilet isn't marble.

105. Bretman Rock's primary bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Once again, AD sped through the entire reason we watch these celeb home tours: the bathrooms. So, I have no idea what the toilet looks like, but it seems like the bathroom connects the bedroom to the closet, which I high-key hate.

Conclusion: I would poop in here if it was an absolute emergency, but I would hate every second of it.

106. Kendall Jenner's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Who decided that dark, moody bathrooms are in, and where can I dispose of their body? Because I hate this trend, I really do. I don't want to shit in a natural cave, so why would I want to shit in a manmade cave?

Conclusion: I would only poop in here if my dignity was on the line.

107. Cara Delevingne's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Cara calls this her "David Bowie shrine." I don't love the color, and I don't love David Bowie. (Please don't yell at me for this because it's just my personal preference!! I'm not saying you can't like him. He's very talented!) But I like the counter setup.

Conclusion: Ground Control to Major Tom, take your fiber pills and turn your bidet on. (Yes, I would poop in here.)

108. Zedd's brother's bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's a nice bathroom, but apparently, the blinds are set on a timer and go up at 7 a.m. and expose you to anyone who's outside the window at the time. And that's truly unhinged.

Conclusion: I would poop in here well before 7 a.m.

109. Demi Lovato's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom is beautiful and bright, but the spacing of everything feels off. There's no need for the room to be so big, and I would feel kind of exposed on this toilet (not pictured...because the room is too big).

Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I wouldn't be a returning customer.

110. Connor McDavid's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This cavernous bathroom is in the basement and almost exclusively marble. I hate the way it looks, and the vibes are all off.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, but only in an emergency.

111. Jennifer Aniston's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I am increasingly convinced that every celebrity with a dark bathroom has light sensitivity issues from all those hours spent under BLAZINGLY bright lights on set. That is the only logical explanation for this trend.

Conclusion: I would poop in here.

112. JJ Redick's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I don't quite understand what's going on in this bathroom. JJ said he didn't really like the way this bathroom looked when he moved in, so he redid it — and here we are.

Conclusion: I would poop in here and use that time to ponder what JJ and his designer were going for with these materials and colors.

113. Aaron Paul's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

It's another installment of This Bathroom Is Super Fucking Dark For No Goddamn Reason!!! Also, Aaron doesn't give out his basement Wi-Fi password, which rules out the time-honored tradition of aimlessly scrolling social media while pooping.

Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I would resent the BYOB* policy.

*Bring Your Own Book

114. Hilary Duff's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This is a very strange bathroom. It's not ugly, but it's so big that it almost feels like a different room entirely that just happens to have a tub, shower, and toilet in it. Like, who keeps a guitar in their bathroom?! Wouldn't the humidity warp the wood??

Conclusion: I would poop in here, but only if Hilary played the guitar for some added ambiance.

115. Zachary Quinto's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The far left corner with exposed piping and a small, dingy window really invokes that feeling of "I think there might be cockroaches somewhere in here" that so many NYC apartments have.

Conclusion: I would poop in here after the exterminator swings by.

🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽 And finally, the truly irredeemable bathrooms straight out of my nightmares:

116. Emma Chamberlain's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Emma calls this bathroom "a little bit wild and crazy," but unless Steve Martin pops out of the toilet, I think her definition of wild and crazy is different from mine. She also calls it "the party bathroom" — and to her credit, all the floor/sink/wall textures are fighting for control in a way that gives me anxiety, just like certain recreational "party favors" make me feel. So, this description definitely feels more accurate.

Conclusion: I would poop in here if there were no other options, but I wouldn't be happy about it.

117. G-Eazy's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

G-Eazy proudly declares that he purposely designed this cave-like bathroom to be "dimly lit," but I would be scared of a bat swooping down.

Conclusion: I would poop in here if I could bring my own bat repellent spray.

118. Kris Jenner's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

A dark bathroom? For a celeb's home? Unheard of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Conclusion: I would once again poop in here if absolutely necessary, but I wish everyone would realize that we left cave living in our past many thousands of years ago. No human in 2023 should have to poop in the dark.

119. Robert Downey Jr.'s powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

The only part of this bathroom that we get to see is this creepy piece of wall art that RDJ says "gives you something to look at while you're dropping a deuce." But like...that's what my phone is for??

Conclusion: I would poop in here, but I'd be too busy with TikTok to notice the deer art.

120. The Try Guys studio and office bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

AD didn't actually show the inside of these bathrooms, but as a longtime Try Guys fan, I remember them saying on their podcast that the lights in these bathrooms automatically turn off after five minutes. That can be pretty jarring when you're taking a long poop.

Conclusion: I might poop in here, but former Try Guy Ned Fulmer recently created such a shitstorm in this office that I think they're all set on poop for a while.

121. Cara Delevingne's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I LOVE the color scheme and layout of this bathroom, but can you even begin to imagine how cold that toilet must feel when you get up to pee in the middle of the night?! What a disaster.

Conclusion: I would poop in here if a doctor assured me that my ass wouldn't fall off from frostbite.

122. Scottie Pippen's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

All these bathrooms really start to look the same after a while. It's fine. I don't like the way it's decorated.

Conclusion: This is a solid 4/10 bathroom, and I'd poop in here in a moment of need.

123. Scottie Pippen's basement bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This bathroom has a whole-ass sauna in it, which is rad. But the toilet isn't in the sauna, and the entire bathroom is super dark because there's no natural light...which is less rad.

Conclusion: I'd poop in here if I was already in the sauna and couldn't wait.

124. Zachary Quinto's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Not only is this powder room way too dark, but Zachary also said he put a bunch of photos in there of people staring straight in the camera "so when you go in to pee, everybody's looking at you." And that's some serial killer shit right there.

Conclusion: Jury's out on whether I would poop in here. (The jury is made up of all those people on the wall.)

125. J Balvin's guest bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I hate the vibes of a black toilet in a dimly lit bathroom.

Conclusion: I guess I would poop in here, but I'd feel really uneasy about it.

126. G-Eazy's studio bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I don't know why G-Eazy likes dark bathrooms so much*, but some of us have IBS and seasonal depression, and this bathroom would simply tank my already precarious mental health.

*I'm mulling over the very real possibility that he may be a vampire.

Conclusion: I would poop in here if I could bring my SAD lamp.

127. Vanessa Hudgens's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

This room has a very medieval vibe, aka a period of history known for the bubonic plague and essentially nonexistent plumbing.

Conclusion: As long as Vanessa hired a professional to plumb (?) this bathroom, I would probably poop in here.

128. J Balvin's powder room

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I really have no idea how to rate this because the video didn't show the whole bathroom, but he described it by saying it has "crazy lighting" and "the toilet is black." So, I doubt I'd be a fan.

Conclusion: Same as his other bathroom with a black toilet.

129. Peyton List's primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

If you've been watching these AD Open Door tours since the beginning, you might remember how the earliest videos were roughly 1-2 minutes long and varied DRAMATICALLY in camera quality. All this to say: This is the best shot I could get of Peyton's bathroom.

Conclusion: I would take an incredibly low-res poop in here.

130. Tate Taylor’s primary bath

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

I don't like this bathroom already, but that dislike is intensified heavily because this is an antebellum home built in the 1830s. That's not it, my dude.

Conclusion: I would not poop in here.

131. Rita Ora's literal en suite bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Rita is VERY excited about her full en suite bathroom that is mere inches away from her bed, separated only by a curtain. "This is the bathroom...in the same room!" Confoundingly, she exclaims this as if it's terrific news and not something* that would fully prevent me from purchasing this home.

*The other thing being that I'm not absurdly wealthy.

Conclusion: I would not poop in here unless it was a life-or-death emergency.

132. Sienna Miller's guest house bathroom

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

There's such a thing as too cozy, and this is it. Sienna's guest house bathroom is narrow, doorless, and windowed. I don't even have claustrophobia, but this bathroom is pushing my limits.

Conclusion: I don't think I have it in me to poop in here. This looks like a place spiders live, and I just don't possess the mental constitution to take that chance.

133. Jared and Genevieve Padalecki’s daughter's changing table

Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be

Conclusion: I would not poop in here.

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