The ABC's Of Having A Crush

    Always Be Crushing.

    Alex Alvarez
    by Alex Alvarez

    BuzzFeed Staff

    A is for "antici..."

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    "...pation."

    20th Century Fox / Via tumblr.com

    Look, 96.3% of any crush is spent waiting. When will your crush text you? When will your crush come online? When will your crush declare his or her undying love for you from a rooftop during sunset while a million triumphant violins play? (So why not make the first move? No? Ok.)

    B is for "#BANCOUPLES."

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    Ban them all. How dare all of you be so happy while some of us are dying of thirst in this desert.

    C is for "call."

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    As in, "I am pretty sure I love you and have already picked out names for both our dogs and our children, but I will never, ever call you."

    D is for "date."

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    What counts as a date? How do you know the difference between a date and just general hanging out? Should you try to make out? Do you end this with a hug? If you touch your crush, will you pass out?

    E is for "every."

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    Because every song reminds you of your crush right now. Even the McDonald's jingle.

    F is for "fave."

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    Fave my Tweets so I know it's real.

    G is for "Google."

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    Because we've all definitely Googled our crushes, at the very least to make sure they're not serial killers. It's called doing your homework.

    H is for "happiness."

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    Because you feel happy every time you think of your crush while at the very same time wondering if you will ever feel true happiness again. It's invigorating and aggravating and hopelessly confusing, all at once.

    I is for "Instagram."

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    Because you just spent about an hour looking through your crush's and almost accidentally liked a picture, so had to scream and stop and step away from the phone.

    J is for "jealous."

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    Because your crush just retweeted Cheryl even though Cheryl is clearly the worst, no offense to Cheryl.

    K is for "k."

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    What does texting back with just "k" mean? Is that bad? Better go overanalyze this for about six hours.

    L is for "Lana Del Rey."

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    Because right now all you want to do is listen to sad love songs full of pleading and nostalgia for a time that never was while looking up love-related quotes on Tumblr.

    M is for "music."

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    You're not "stalking" your crush's Spotify listens; you're just casually glancing at it every single day. And now you know you both like T. Rex and are meant to be.

    N is for "name"

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    It's a shame people don't still use paper and pens because just typing your crush's name over and over on a screen is not a good look.

    O is for "omg I am going to die."

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    ...which is what you've texted your friend sixteen times since developing this amazing, beautiful, life-ruining crush.

    P is for "play it cool."

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    Just be casual. Cool and casual. Don't freak out. Don't... don't do ANYTHING that you're doing right NOW.

    Q is for "quit playing games with my heart."

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    (With my heart.) Before you tear us apart. (My heart.)

    R is for "romantic."

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    Like the romantic way you got all tongue-tied and flustered and sweaty in front of your crush when they said "hi."

    S is for "sext."

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    "Want to get some pizza?" counts as a sext.

    T is for "thirst."

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    Some of us out here are parched.

    U is for "u."

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    Because your crush actually downgraded when they texted "how r u." It's just four more letters; come on. Step it up. Text to impress.

    V is for "VERY WELL THEN."

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    Because, look, this is clearly not happening and you have better things to do right now, like working or hanging out with friends or crying.

    W is for "Why don't you love me?"

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    Which is currently playing on a loop forever.

    X is for "XXX."

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    Which is the rating the MPAA would give your parched-ass daydreams right now.

    Y is for "YISSSSS."

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    Because they finally asked you out and you smiled and accidentally yelled "yisssss" instead of "yes" because you're so nervous and relieved and excited and about to explode into a million spinning cartoon hearts.

    Z is for "ziofjoeiwjgejgeriotjoj."

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    Because that is basically your emotional state right now. Sigh.