1. The expectation: Since you're an adult now, you'll be swimming in free candy AND booze.
The reality: No one is going to give you candy.
2. The expectation: You're OK with not trick-or-treating. You're an adult!
The reality: YOU WANT ALL THE TRICK OR TREAT CANDY SO BAD.
YOU NEED IT MORE THAN CHILDREN DO IT RUINS THEIR BODIES ANYWAY AND YOURS IS ALREADY A GARBAGE DISPOSAL.
3. The expectation: You'll totally have self-control when it comes to eating candy.
The reality: You'll eat so much candy that you can't tell if you're dead or alive.
Your ashes will be spread in the discount candy aisle on Nov. 1.