Everyone has an opinion on puns. Our (p)uncalled for opinion is that they are hilarious. So we rounded up the funniest puns—with the help of Reddit, Twitter and Tumblr—that will cause sheer pun-demonium! Scroll to cringe while you laugh and laugh while you cringe.
1. "How do you throw a space party? You planet."
2. "What do you call a cow that just gave birth? DeCALFinated."
4. "Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines everywhere!"
6. "That scarecrow is really good at his job. He's outstanding in his field."
7.
What a cool Pokemon Fanbase.
8. "What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird"
10. "Never tell a pun to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally."
11.
I'm not appreciated enough. Saw this bread and not one person laughed when I said "dat ass dough".
12. "What kind of music do you play at a space party? Neptunes."
14. "One bird can't make a pun. But toucan."
16. "Atoms are such liars...they make up everything."
18. "I, for one, like Roman numerals."
20. "Orion’s Belt is a waist of space...Not the best pun, admittedly, I’d give it 3 stars out of 5."
23. "Walking on the shore, I spotted a gigantic clam. I tried to drag it back home but I had to stop 'cause I pulled a mussel."
25. "Studying to become a licensed funeral director is a grave undertaking."
27. "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"
28.
ME: How much to buy a singing ensemble? PRODUCER: You mean a choir? ME: Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?
29. "What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs? A con-descending."
31.
We ordered Chinese food and it didn’t come with any cookies and I can’t stop talking about how ‘unfortunate’ this is.
34.
I wanted to post this just in case
35.
[harp meeting] "What's up, fellow harps!" You're not a real harp "I am so!" Nah, you're too small to be a harp" "Are you calling me a lyre?"
36.
Net fix and chill.
38.
I was home for Christmas and my parents cooked a beef tenderloin. I said, “Man, Budapest is going to love this.” They asked who Budapest was. I said “I named my stomach Budapest because it’s the capital of HUNGRY” and that’s when they stopped calling me son
39.
HEROES IN A HALF SHELL
64.
*Tucks shirt in* "Goodnight, shirt."
65.
Google Slides. Google Docs.
66.
[on doorstep after date] me: what would you say to coffee? her: I dunno, maybe "how have you BEAN?" me: that's pretty good you can come in
67.
friend: "ok, when does a joke become a 'dad joke'?" me, with no hesitation: "when it becomes apparent"
68.
There are good cheese puns and bad cheese puns. Between them, there’s a gruyerea.
69.
I remember my moms Uncle Joe died and got cremated and we were on the way to the funeral and she said she wanted some coffee and my older brother said “well we got a box ‘a Joe right here” and that didn’t make her laugh
70.
A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive.
71.
One time I prepared homemade soup and I texted a girl a photo of it and said “get you a man who can do broth” and she left me on read
72.
Is that... is that the Fanta of the Opera?
73.
football coach: i need you guys to make a play (8 months later at opening night) football coach: wait wtf is this
74.
A lady just dropped a steak while I was at Aldi. I said whoops now it’s ground beef. She didn’t laugh or seem slightly amused but that’s showbiz baby
75.
Why do Cows have hooves instead of feet? They Lactose
76.
Damn it My water broke
101.
Who gets this joke?! It took me a minute to figure it out... #TheJadeShow
104.
Took me way too long to figure this pun out.... Let me know how you go?
105.
Someone explain this pun to me? I don't get it
106.
Here's a cute pun. If you can figure it out, send it to your sweetie!
107.
When you tryna be cheesy but everyone around you is laughtose intolerant
108.
109.
110.
silently waiting your turn to unleash the literal game changer
111.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Me: I have pain in both legs
113.
This article contains content from Andy Golder, Dave Stopera, Andrew Ziegler, Angelica Martinez, Tanner Greenring, and Hattie Soykan. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.