Everyone has an opinion on puns. Our uncalled-for opinion is that they are hilarious. (We bet your dad would agree.) So we rounded up the funniest puns — with the help of Reddit, Twitter and Tumblr — that will cause sheer pun-demonium!
2. "I bought a pair of shoes from my drug dealer the other day. I don't know what he laced them with but I was trippin' all day."
3. "I went shopping for cherries and mics the other day. Bought a bing, bought a boom."
4. "What did one body spray say to another? I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong."
8. "After a concert, I asked ten puns if they liked the sound quality. The feedback was awful; no pun in ten did."
9. "You could go ahead and start telling dad jokes now, although since you're not a real dad yet, that'd be a faux pa."
10. "The other day a man assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy."
17. "Net fix and chill."
22. "Saw this bread and not one person laughed when I said 'dat ass dough.'"
26. "Big Foot caught on tape!"
31. "Orion’s Belt is a waist of space...Not the best pun, admittedly, I’d give it 3 stars out of 5."
32. "Wow, look at the van Gogh."
34. "Heroes in a half shell."
37. "Walking on the shore, I spotted a gigantic clam. I tried to drag it back home but I had to stop 'cause I pulled a mussel."
42. "Lays Miserables"
47. "We ordered Chinese food and it didn’t come with any cookies and I can’t stop talking about how ‘unfortunate’ this is."
50. "I wanted to post this just in case."
53. "I was home for Christmas and my parents cooked a beef tenderloin. I said, 'Man, Budapest is going to love this.' They asked who Budapest was. I said, 'I named my stomach Budapest because it’s the capital of HUNGRY' and that’s when they stopped calling me son."
55. "Pew pew."
57. "A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, 'What’s this about?' The bartender replies, 'Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone’s drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?' The guy replies, 'Nah, the steaks are too high.'”
58. "One time I prepared homemade soup and I texted a girl a photo of it and said, 'Get you a man who can do broth' and she left me on read."
59. "My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes, "Like a cheaply made castle.” And we were like, 'what?' and he goes, “No ballroom.”
62. "On my tombstone please write: 'Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake.'"
63. "I have an emotional attachment to this email."
66. "I remember my mom's Uncle Joe died and got cremated and we were on the way to the funeral and she said she wanted some coffee and my older brother said, 'Well, we got a box of Joe right here' and that didn’t make her laugh."
67. "A UFO caught on tape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
68. We told our pizza delivery man to write a joke on the box. He delivered.
72. "Is that the Fanta of the Opera?"
73. "Google Slides. Google Docs."
74. How do you guys like my first attempt at 3D printing?
76. "A bipartisan bill legalizing medical marijuana for use in alleviating symptoms of arthritis would be joint support for joint support for joint support!"
77. Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Me: I have pain in both legs
79. "A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive."
80. "Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble. You have my word."
81. "My girlfriend said we had a massive leak in the fridge..."
82. "A lady just dropped a steak while I was at Aldi. I said, 'Whoops, now it’s ground beef.' She didn’t laugh or seem slightly amused but that’s showbiz baby."
84. "Damn it. My water broke."
89. "I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician when I pulled a habit out of a rat."
92. "Ice, ice, baby."
96. "When I went to college I was going to join the debate team but someone talked me out of it."
105. "I hear there's a new reversible jacket coming out soon. I can't wait to see how it turns out."
108. "The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house."
116. "You're a Dora bowl!"
119. "The mailman told me he's off to Spain tomorrow, so I asked him if he was going to Parcelona."
121. "I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."
This article contains content from Andy Golder, Dave Stopera, Andrew Ziegler, Angelica Martinez, Tanner Greenring, and Hattie Soykan. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.