Recently, people shared the names their father gave, or attempted to give, them as proof that fathers often gift their children with questionable names. From Darylgena to Beyoncé, they were perfectly ridiculous.
The comments didn't disappoint, either (there were over 400...), so it was only right that I shared all the best ones with you once more as evidence of this wacky phenomenon:
1. "My father-in-law wanted us to name our daughter Stevia, because his name is Steve. Not Stephanie, which is RIGHT THERE, but Stevia."
2. "My husband and I are planning a family. Discussing names we like, he mentioned the other day that he likes the name Diaria…so I’m like, do you realize that sounds too much like 'diarrhea'?"
"You can tell him that's literally how I, a stranger on the internet, thought that was a 'fancy' version of 'diarrhea.'"
3. "I know someone who named BOTH his twin sons after himself. His name is Hayden, and he deadass named each of them Hayden and gave them different middle names. When I asked why, he said he didn’t want to name only one of them after himself and then have the other one get jealous. I told him no one will ever be sad about NOT having the name Hayden."
4. "They use the names of women they’re attracted to. My mother’s name is Deborah because my grandfather thought Debbie Reynolds was the hottest woman in the world. Really unlucky girls get an ex-girlfriend’s name 😬😬😬."
5. "I like the story of the dad who named his daughter Lanesra, and his wife was impressed with his creativity in coming up with such a beautiful name, and then she found out that it was just Arsenal (his soccer team) spelled backward."
6. "I have met no fewer than three children named ESPN (pronounced 'es-pen'), brothers Pepper and Tater (given names, not nicknames), a young lady named Citaly, and a gentleman named Saviour. That’s what happens when you work in schools."
7. "Every time this topic comes up, I have to shout out my (least) favorite example: the West Indies cricketer Dwayne Bravo, who named his first son Dwayne Bravo Jr., and then his poor daughter got Dwaynice. Like 'Denise,' but Dwayne-ified."
8. "Dads not knowing how to spell is why I know a guy named Keven."
"I worked with a Susen for the same reason — she said her dad wasn’t big on 'book learnin.'"
9. "My dad is a huge wine guy and wanted to name me Burgundy Merlot 😭. Thank the lord my mom had common sense and vetoed that one."
10. "A girl in my school was Crystal Leer. Her middle name was Shanda. You got it: crystal chandelier."
11. "I thank God every day that my mother did not allow my father to name me Thomasina."
12. "My dad tried to put 'Doctor' down as my sister’s first name, but the nurses wouldn’t let him. They also said no to naming her Senator."
13. "My dad was really set on Grizz (like grizzly bear) as my name, especially if I was a boy, but he was cool with it as a girl’s name, too. When that was shot down, he pushed hard for Beowulf. Thankfully, my mom is very assertive and would never have allowed my dad’s crazy-ass name suggestions (he had others for my siblings)."
14. "I had a student named Beonsaa, pronounced 'Beyoncé.' My nephew named his son Clark Danger. 'Clark' after Clark Kent. 'Danger' so that he could say, 'Danger is my middle name.'"
15. "Girl I went to dance academy with: Battle Reigns Black. Who looks at a baby and thinks, I want this child to remind me of WAR?"
16. "I worked with a girl named Mary. Her last name is Christmas. And it’s her maiden name, so her parents knew what they were doing."
17. "I went to school with a student named Mylan Moore. (Say the name out loud — you’ll find that it sounds a lot like 'my lawn mower.')"
18. "I have a few examples: We have family friends whose last name is Fuel. There's a poor girl whose first name is April. I have family whose last name is King. They named their oldest son Joseph so they could call him Joking. Last but certainly not least, there was a woman in my old neighborhood whose name was LaShell. I asked LaShell about her unusual name. She said when she was born, her dad had been looking out the window at a Shell gas station across the street, and for some awful reason, her mom let the name stick."
19. And lastly, this story of a heroic grandma who saved the day when a father's name choice had a questionable origin:
"My mom thought it would be cute if I had a name that started with the same letter as hers. My idiot father suggested Evelyn, and my mom was on board. He got too high and fell asleep the day my mom was giving birth and didn't make it to the hospital. My grandma (his mom) was with my mom in the delivery room and went to beat the crap outta him after I was safely delivered, only to walk in the door and get a call from a woman named Evelyn, looking for her boyfriend. My grandma was like, 'I have 11 sons; which one are you looking for?' She said my dad's name. My grandma told her he was dead, hung up, slapped him awake, and rushed back to the hospital. She told my mom what happened and suggested some new names. 'Erin' was on the birth certificate before my dad could even figure out who slapped him. My grandma funded their divorce. ❤️"
Anyways, while I find some of these endearing (I love "Chrishell"!), I liked this reminder from Xtonicray: "Remember, expecting parents! This isn’t just a baby’s name! This is a future adult’s name that will go on job applications!"
Let me know if you have any other names to add down in the comments. ⬇️
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.