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What Does Your Lunch Say About You?

Sorry, Pret fans.

"People who get Pret for lunch check their work email last thing at night and first thing in the morning."

"Ennui in sandwich form."

"Have only a vague memory of their childhoods."

"One snapshot of their grandma pushing them on a swing on a sunny day."

"Enjoy your mayo sandwich matey."

"People who get the Pret Mac and Cheese are very hungover."

"Can't be bothered to make a decision and need a lot of calories."

"Have clear and detailed memory of childhood, but remember it as being better than it really was."

"EAT is like the LADBible version of Pret."

"People who eat at EAT have one too many shirt buttons undone."

"Their food is so 90s, so many noodle salads."

"EAT feels like it was devised while in a Nigella Lawson daze in 1997. "

"Why is it shouting at me to EAT."


"I have no opinions on Pod I've never been in it. I imagine it's kind of classy."

"Is it in space?"

"Does it have a wormhole for fast-track travel to the Andromeda Galaxy?"

"Are Sandra Bullock and George Clooney waiting for you on the other side?"

"It's basically Gwyneth-fuel."

"Same thing."

"People who buy the Sainsbury's £3 Meal Deal are surprisingly good at sex."

"Make beautiful love to you in the morning and then have to run to get their train."

"Yeah they don't have time to go get a better lunch because they're so busy flirting during their breaks."

"Very busy with actually important things."

"People who in no way depend on the internet for their living."

"I think Channing Tatum is the ultimate Sainsbury's £3 meal deal buyer."

"Yes I see this. Magic Mike would get a Sainsbury's meal deal between his shift as a builder and as a stripper."

"People who buy an ITSU sushi selection are SO GLAMOROUS."

"Women who get their eyebrows tinted for more than £30, every month."

"They have a facialist."

"I want to be one of these women."

"Know the best place to get avocado in London."

"People who eat at Itsu never arrange ASOS from lowest to highest."

"They probably don't even shop at ASOS, more like NetAPorter."

"Itsu types get a full bikini wax and never eat crisps in bed."

"In the dead of winter. Full wax. Don't shed a single tear."

"Wear beautiful, posh stockings."

"Have never been to Primark."

"Doesn't own a pair of jeans that cost under £100."

"People who have leftover pasta live in a houseshare and hate all their housemates.

"Signed a lease on a reasonably-priced flat, but then the landlord hit them with a massively inflated deposit. Will take them weeks to recover from the financial hit. And their flat has mice in it that keep them awake at night, so they're like, what even was this deposit for."

"Pasta lunchers dream of a better life."

"People who have other kinds of leftovers will either be incredibly organised and the object of my jealousy. Or they will be the absolute pits."

"If it contains a left over roast potato then they are the best person in the world. "

"Straight-up, no messing about kind of person. Tells you what they think of things without beating around the bush."

"Has a bike and wears proper cycling clothes to come into work, and then showers at the office."

"Spends the money they saved on lunches throughout the year on a nice holiday, but don't bombard their social networks with photos from it."

"People who have soup for lunch don't care if they stink out the office."

"They have a grey demeanor."

"And a terrible secret."


"People who eat an egg salad sandwich work from home"

"Smelly but delicious. Like me."

"It's a classic, a classic best eaten outdoors."

"They're kind of annoying at work, but fun at the pub, so you forgive them for it."

"People who have no lunch swear by the 5-2 diet, but have a little breakdown around age 27."

"Ran ruthless lemonade stands in their childhoods. All about that profit."

"People who sleep four hours a night."

"Apprentice candidates and aspiring Apprentice candidates."

"The kind of person that flaps about at work over how busy they are just so that people think they're important."

"Like why would anyone do this to themselves."

"People who have a burrito for lunch are a LAD LAD LAD LAD LAD."

"Works for a social media start-up."

"I probably fancy them."

"Know what kind of "product" to put in their hair, and apply it expertly."

"Boasts about getting the hottest sauce and uses terms like 'man-fuel'"

"Has a Yorkie for afters."

"A person who has a burger for lunch is hungover."

"Soooooo hungover."

"Like regrettably hungover."

"They did something BAD last night, probably confessed their love to their colleague."

"Have to run to the loo in the morning for a quick vom, but only a little one, and manage to do it quite quietly, so no-one's the wiser."

"The non-media version of the burrito bro. 100% lad."

"A person who has a ham and cheese sandwich considers themselves a "tea obsessive"."

"Calls cardigans 'cardis'."

"All I can think of is how much I want a ham and cheese sandwich right now."

"Have been in the audience of Question Time, but didn't get to ask their question. But, their crush from school saw them on the telly anyway, and sent a nice Facebook message."

"This is a beautiful love story that I want to be part of."

"Not as much as I want a ham and cheese sandwich though."

"True. Mmmm."

"Refused to buy a kindle because you can't beat the smell of a new book."

"Good at University Challenge."

"A person who brings in a mason jar salad is good at dressing in interesting layers."


"I want to be this person and I hate them for it."

"Makes elaborate cakes for people's birthdays but never eats any of it."

"They have a Keep Calm and Carry On poster at home. A pink one."

"Love a bit of gingham."

"Grew up with a very well-kept tropical saltwater fish tank."

"Fancies Lumbersexuals."

"They made the salad for the first time ironically, but now don't do it ironically, and in fact, have removed all irony from their lives. The mason jar salad is a slippery slope."

"This person will say "oh I made you a lovely birthday present" and then it's a jar of fucking hot chocolate with marshmallows etc and you have to carry it around the pub all night."

"Someone having fish and chips for lunch is a person living their best life."

"Like how can you have this much joy?"

"Are you a cartoon character?"

"Think there's no shame in having a pint with their fish and chips. And they're right."

"This is the food version of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Cheerful and doesn't give a shit what you think."

"Would have had a Groovy Chick pencil case in the '00s."

"Self-confident, cheerful, cries at sad scenes in films."

"This lunch gives no fucks."

"McDonald's is the most hungover lunch. Like a hungover I am yet to experience. "

"Something really bad would have to happen in my life for me to get McDonald's for lunch."

"If my cat died I'd get McDonald's for lunch."

"Maybe if I was hungover AND my cat died."

"I can tell you I was once so hungover I got McDonald's for lunch and then ate it in McDs and cried."

"Babes I'm so sorry."

"Nando's for lunch is like winning the lottery."

"This person is winning at life more than the person eating fish and chips."

"It's the thinking person's YOLO lunch."

"The person that eats Nandos for lunch doesn't even need to read the menu. They know what they want and they know how to get it."

"They can put up an IKEA billy bookcase without getting cross at it."

"Passed their driving test first time."

"Great teeth."

"I really fancy the Nandos lunch person."

"The ham and cheese person was in my league. Nandos person is way out of it."