You are not Nicki Minaj and baggy jean butts are your enemy.
It’s not exactly the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle everyone thinks it is.
You need to decide, once and for all.
The wildest, biggest, fluffiest domestic cat you can have.
Have you ever bought an avocado from Waitrose and eaten it for brunch?
Honestly, we’re proud of our crap looking BBQs.
The best training in “holding in your feelings” you could ask for.
Cats don’t obey the laws of physics.
Are you actually picking the best meal on the British high street?
You can stop looking for the adult because you are the adult.
If you’ve ever worked in a call centre you know the struggle.
You can’t have a group holiday without a mum friend.
You’re not proud, but getting drunk in freezing-cold parks made you who you are today.
Not a flat pancake to be seen.
We’re talking British builders tea here, none of that fancy shit.
So it turns out we probably can’t just move anywhere in Europe anymore, but we can still jump ship up north.
If you think it, you’ll say it.