"Every Lawyer On 'Suits' Would Be Disbarred, Sued, And Possibly Jailed" — 19 Fictional Characters Who'd Get Fired, Arrested, Or Ghosted If They Existed In Real Life

    "There is not a hospital in the world that could afford the lawsuits Greg House would generate in real life."

    Amy Glover
    by Amy Glover

    BuzzFeed Staff

    Recently, u/peppersteak_headshot asked the people of r/AskReddit, "What fictional character is portrayed as a lovable scamp, but would be fired, arrested, or unfriended in real life?". Here are some of our favourite responses:

    1. "Every lawyer (including pretend lawyer) on Suits would be disbarred, sued, and possibly jailed. And they would deserve it."

    USA Network

    —u/wynnduffyisking

    "I've worked in Big Law for 30+ years. I cannot watch Suits. I just can't summon enough suspension of disbelief. Ally McBeal is more realistic." 

    —u/KinseyH

    2. "The Todd from Scrubs."

    NBC

    —u/no_lemom_no_melon

    "Shockingly competent surgeon, walking HR violation."

    —u/nik-nak333

    3. "There is not a hospital in the world that could afford the lawsuits Greg House would generate in real life. Even in the House universe, they have a budget specifically for his lawsuits. It cannot be enough."

    Fox

    —u/crazy-diam0nd

    "Man is just doing insane medical crime left and right." 

    —u/mdf676

    4. "Maverick from Top Gun. Iceman was right. He is a danger to everyone around him."

    Paramount Pictures

    —u/Steeze_Schralper6968

    "I feel like the moment I knew I was old was during a rewatch of the original a few years ago when I sided with Iceman." 

    —u/emccm

    5. "The man in the yellow hat. Don’t be bringing your goddam curious monkey with you everywhere. He’s always causing chaos and a shit ton of damage."

    PBS

    "Do you even have a real job? Nobody likes you." 

    —u/grptrt

    "Based on the TV show, my theory is he's pretty rich.

    He has a fancy city condo with a doorman. He has a family country house. He doesn't do any actual work, except occasionally working on some book. Mostly, he just palls around with his pet monkey.

    Further, the museum seems to want him dead and involve him in every risky activity they do. My guess is they think they are named in his will and he is already giving them money so win by keeping him involved and win more if he dies in the process.

    Sure, go on this space mission we are involved in somehow. Sure, take this experimental submarine out. Sounds good." 

    —u/fireduck 

    6. "Sherlock Holmes works for himself for a reason."

    BBC

    —u/PoshCushions

    "That’s why it was so easy for everyone to believe he was the criminal mastermind in the show." 

    —u/ChronoLegion2

    7. "Gina Linetti from Brooklyn Nine-Nine would've been an HR nightmare IRL. Bullying Charles and harassing Terry — not to mention some of the outright hateful things she said to her co-workers."

    NBC

    —u/gate_of_steiner85

    8. "Micheal Scott would be fired, and maybe even arrested. Although personally, I wouldn't mind having a boss like him at work. It would be entertaining for me."

    NBC

    —u/human1023

    "Michael Scott is a dream boss. The class action payout would be huge."

    —u/dr-dog69

    9. "Will Schuester would not only be fired, but forbidden by law from coming within 1,000 feet of a school."

    Fox

    —u/Animeking1108

    "Literally in the pilot episode, he's creeping on a student singing in the shower and then plants weed in his locker to blackmail him. This might be the best horror show Ryan Murphy's ever made." 

    —u/proteinbiosynthese

    10. "Quagmire from Family Guy."

    Fox

    —u/thepotatoinyourheart

    "EVERYONE from Family Guy." 

    —u/Eternal-Domicile

    11. "Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey is only portrayed as a sultry romantic hero because he's rich and handsome. If he was average looking and working class, he'd be a villain."

    Universal Pictures

    —u/DrSaturn42

    "The best quote about this is 'It’s romantic because he’s rich and handsome, take those away and it’s a plot for a Criminal Minds episode'." 

    —u/NaryaGenesis

    12. "Willy Wonka lured a bunch of people under false pretenses into his home, which was filled with elaborate death traps that exploited their specific individual character flaws, which he then used to systematically eliminate them until the only one remaining was the person he deemed virtuous enough to become his successor and take over his work after he died. This is the exact same plot as the Saw film series."

    Warner Bros. Pictures

    —u/drmojo9021

    13. "Pepe Le Pew."

    Warner Bros.

    —u/kessa1111

    14. "Kevin McAllister from the Home Alone movies, I think those movies should really be titled Saw: The Early Years since Kevin is clearly Jigsaw before he grows up."

    20th Century Studios

    —u/Microflunkie

    15. "Everyone in Its Always Sunny should be in jail 😂"

    FX

    —u/rainbowMoon96

    "I think that’s the point though." 

    —u/c_girl_108

    16. "Sterling Mallory Archer from Archer. Dude is a fucking sociopath by real-life standards."

    FX

    —u/whitneywestmoreland

    "But he was still so damn likable." 

    —u/_Halboro_

    17. "Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother."

    CBS

    —u/jwelshuk

    "Marshall had a great quote in one of the episodes: 'You're disgusting, and someone should clamp a boot on your genitals.'"

    —u/peppersteak_headshot

    18. "Bender. He even stole Fry's blood one time."

    Fox

    —u/Rollthembones1989

    "Precocious little scamp, ain’t he?!"

    —u/Defiant-Goose-101

    19. "Ferris Bueller is pretty much the epitome of privileged as*hole."

    Paramount Pictures

    —u/celtic1888

    Shout out to u/peppersteak_headshot and r/AskReddit for having this discussion.

    Do you think we missed any examples? Let us know in the comments below!