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21 Totally Accurate Things Drake Would Do

Via @StuffDrakeDoes

Posted on
betcheslovethis.com

There are buku Twitter streams dedicated to satirizing Drake, but none does it quite as beautifully as newbie account @StuffDrakeDoes.

Here are some of its most hilarious and seriously poetic 140-character Drake moments.

1. Drake and philosophy:

Drake is asked by a young boy, "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Drake responds, "She comes first, she always comes first."

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake is asked by a young boy, "which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

Drake responds, "She comes first, she always comes first."

4:44 PM - 02 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

2. Drake and balloon:

Drake buys a balloon from a street vendor. "Find her," he whispers, and lets it float away into the sky.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake buys a balloon from a street vendor. "Find her," he whispers, and lets it float away into the sky.

4:33 PM - 28 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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3. Drake and communication:

"Hey," she texts. Drake types, in reply, "I'd like to caress you for my whole life." He hesitates, then deletes it. "Hey," he sends

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

"Hey," she texts. Drake types, in reply, "I'd like to caress you for my whole life." He hesitates, then deletes it. "Hey," he sends

3:56 PM - 27 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

4. Drake and Bulbasaur:

Drake pushes B to stop his Bulbasaur from evolving. He leans in close to his Game Boy. "You don't have to change for me," he whispers.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake pushes B to stop his Bulbasaur from evolving. He leans in close to his Game Boy. "You don't have to change for me," he whispers.

7:16 PM - 31 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

5. Drake and twig:

Drake hears a twig snap in his garden. He peeks through the back window. "Is anybody there?" he calls out, half in fear, half in hope.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake hears a twig snap in his garden. He peeks through the back window. "Is anybody there?" he calls out, half in fear, half in hope.

4:32 PM - 03 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

6. Drake and bath time:

Drake runs a scalding hot bath. A lavender bath bomb. A scented candle. He hugs his knees and dreams of summer until the water goes cold.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake runs a scalding hot bath. A lavender bath bomb. A scented candle. He hugs his knees and dreams of summer until the water goes cold.

12:03 PM - 02 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

7. Drake after a night out:

Drake’s eyes look into the distance searchingly “Take a shot for me” he whispers, whilst emptying his glass into the ocean

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake’s eyes look into the distance searchingly “Take a shot for me” he whispers, whilst emptying his glass into the ocean

2:21 PM - 31 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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8. Drake and empty meaning:

Drake mutes Grey's Anatomy and cracks open his fortune cookie. A slip of paper floats to the floor. Anxiously, he turns it over. It's blank.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake mutes Grey's Anatomy and cracks open his fortune cookie. A slip of paper floats to the floor. Anxiously, he turns it over. It's blank.

8:32 PM - 30 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

9. Drake, when he quit Rihanna:

"Rihanna?" Drake asks. He stabs at the potato he is cutting. "No, I'm afraid I don't know anyone by that name."

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

"Rihanna?" Drake asks. He stabs at the potato he is cutting. "No, I'm afraid I don't know anyone by that name."

7:03 PM - 22 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

10. Drake, when he didn't really quit Rihanna:

Drake unblocks Rihanna's number. He lays down his phone and gazes up at the stars. "I wonder if they ever get lonely too," he thinks.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake unblocks Rihanna's number. He lays down his phone and gazes up at the stars. "I wonder if they ever get lonely too," he thinks.

9:07 PM - 17 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

11. Drake and fulfillment:

"Any dessert for you, sir?" "Oh no thank you, I'm stuffed!" Drake says, flashing a fake smile. "Stuffed, yet so empty," he thinks.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

"Any dessert for you, sir?"

"Oh no thank you, I'm stuffed!" Drake says, flashing a fake smile. "Stuffed, yet so empty," he thinks.

10:25 AM - 03 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

12. Drake, reflecting:

The snow begins to fall as Drake peers longingly through a coffee shop window. He catches his reflection and doesn't even recognize himself.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

The snow begins to fall as Drake peers longingly through a coffee shop window. He catches his reflection and doesn't even recognize himself.

5:04 PM - 30 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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13. Drake, and toasting to Drake:

Drake adjusts his bow tie in the mirror before raising a glass of champagne to his reflection. "Happy anniversary, Drake," he whispers.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake adjusts his bow tie in the mirror before raising a glass of champagne to his reflection. "Happy anniversary, Drake," he whispers.

6:52 PM - 25 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

14. Drake, feeling whole:

Drake sits back and admires the puzzle he has finished. He sips his green tea, then sighs. "There's a still a piece missing."

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake sits back and admires the puzzle he has finished. He sips his green tea, then sighs. "There's a still a piece missing."

4:07 PM - 24 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

15. Drake, self-reflecting.

Using a quill, Drake writes "You could do better" onto a scrap of parchment. He puts it into a glass bottle, and tosses it out to sea.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Using a quill, Drake writes "You could do better" onto a scrap of parchment. He puts it into a glass bottle, and tosses it out to sea.

4:33 PM - 21 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

16. Drake, on Halloween:

"Trick or treat!" "No tricks, kids. Just treat her right," Drake says. He hands them an apple each and returns to his armchair.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

"Trick or treat!"

"No tricks, kids. Just treat her right," Drake says. He hands them an apple each and returns to his armchair.

9:33 AM - 20 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

17. Drake and the most precious jewel:

At the antiques store, Drake finds a weathered jewellery box. "I could keep my heart in this," he thinks. "I could keep it safe forever."

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

At the antiques store, Drake finds a weathered jewellery box. "I could keep my heart in this," he thinks. "I could keep it safe forever."

7:34 PM - 17 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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18. Drake and haunted houses:

A floorboard creaks. Somewhere upstairs, a door slams. Drake looks up from his cocoa. Every house is haunted when love leaves it, he thinks.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

A floorboard creaks. Somewhere upstairs, a door slams. Drake looks up from his cocoa. Every house is haunted when love leaves it, he thinks.

10:10 AM - 17 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

19. Drake, in a taxi:

A taxi pulls up. Drake gets in. "Where to, sir?" the driver asks. "Just drive," Drake whispers. "Just drive."

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

A taxi pulls up. Drake gets in. "Where to, sir?" the driver asks. "Just drive," Drake whispers. "Just drive."

10:04 AM - 17 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

20. Drake, leaving it all behind:

Drake hands over his passport at the terminal. "Destination, sir?" Drake shakes his head. "Somewhere else," he whispers.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Drake hands over his passport at the terminal. "Destination, sir?" Drake shakes his head. "Somewhere else," he whispers.

10:09 AM - 17 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

21. And Drake, never looking back:

Airport security. "Any hazardous materials, sir?" Drake smiles to himself, and shakes his head. "The dagger in my heart," he thinks.

Stuff Drake Does@StuffDrakeDoes

Airport security. "Any hazardous materials, sir?"

Drake smiles to himself, and shakes his head. "The dagger in my heart," he thinks.

3:46 PM - 01 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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