I appear to be the only person on this site who’s not in love with this copyranter character. Gosh.

Flawless. I’ve got 5 bucks on that.

Yep, still no irony here. Just change the titles of the posts!

It’s pretty disappointing that neither of the other patrons stood up to her at all. They just stood there and let her unload her whole racist thing all over those employees.

Wow, way to peddle the stereotypes.

All of this is just so perfectly put, I have to give you a heart.

This was an interesting list. One little edit: to “huck” means to throw. You probably wanted “hock,” to sell, or better yet, “hawk,” which means to pitch, promote, or advertise.

Wait. Having sex with fewer partners (or with one committed partner) doesn’t automatically equal having “less sex”. Try peddling that crap to anyone who’s in a relationship with someone they go to town with all the time.

That’s really good! It reminds me of a friend whose mom told him that every light switch comes with a maximum number of ons and offs so that he would stop messing with the damn lights all the time.

When I was a pretty little kid I asked my mom what it meant to get your period. She told me that once a month your body has to drain all the blood out of your breasts to make room for milk. I was HORRIFIED, not least because I believed for years afterward that breasts were just sacks of blood and I really, really didn’t want to have any.