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This "Drummer Wanted" Ad Is Very Specific

NO LONG HAIRS OR CHELSEAS!!!!!

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I'll tell you what, T0DD CL0UD: You send me a file of you dogshit LOUD synth tracks, and I'll add percussion to them — me banging on my desk at work — and send it back to you, along with a photo of me with my new Chelsea haircut, wearing my non-primary colors tie-dye t-shirt and funky Fluevog kicks, and we'll take it from there.

NOTE: Yes, I realize this could be fake, but if you've ever played in bands, you know that this absolutely could be real.

RELATED: The Best Craigslist Rock Drummer Ad Ever.