18. Floyd Mayweather Jr.
With Floyd Mayweather as your best friend, everything is exciting and semi nerve-racking. Because he’s betting on it. That NBA game on the third TV at the bar? Yeah, he has $80,000 on it. That college football game? $2 million. It’s a high-stakes lifestyle that’s bound to get crazy, but at least you know you wouldn’t get bored with Mayweather around. Oh yeah, and he can beat the crap out of anyone who messes with you. Which is always helpful.
17. Rob Gronkowski
Speaking of crazy, Rob Gronkowski only knows one way to live, and that’s hardcore. The man never seems to settle down and he’s always giving 110%, whether it’s on the football field or the club. As your best friend, he’d guarantee you had a good time out, but he’d also steal all the ladies and possibly get you arrested for public intoxication. And I can’t even imagine what the expenses are like after he leaves a hotel room. If you can keep up with him, he’d be an awesome best friend. But you likely can’t keep up with him.
16. Patrick Kane
Patrick Kane will drink you under the table and then make you chug out of the Stanley Cup because he’s blacked out and now has no idea what’s going on. And guys like that are fun. But also dangerous. You will probably have the most fun nights with Patrick Kane and also the worst hangovers of your life because of it. And in general, hockey players are super nice, but also slightly off.
15. Usain Bolt
Bolt is clearly an unpredictable man who oozes self-confidence. It’s a deadly combo, but one that could potentially be very fun to be around. And it’s probably impossible to be angry around him. He’d just flash that smile, crack a joke, and then go run to McDonald’s and buy you guys hundreds of Chicken McNuggets for lunch. The bad news is that he will totally hog all the spotlight.
14. Tim Lincecum
Tim Lincecum is like that shy best friend who is really funny when he finally opens up. So in your group of friends, he’s tons of fun, but if you go out, you might have to be the leader of the crew. And there’s nothing wrong with being the leader of a crew with a two-time World Series champ.
13. Dirk Nowitzki
Everybody needs a foreign best friend. Sure, Dirk’s been in the league since 1998, but he spent most of his life in Germany, which makes him, like, 60% German and 40% American, so that still counts. And it can’t hurt to have a 7-footer around who has no shame whatsoever.
12. Jay Cutler
Yes, Cutler is a married man with a second child on the way, and he seems to mope around a lot, but Cutty is really misunderstood. He’s actually a surprisingly clever and funny guy when he’s not being accused of acting like a bitch. And, come on, you know you want to hang out with the guy in that picture.
10. Victor Cruz
Victor Cruz is so cool. He’s a Super Bowl champ, he turned down Dancing with the Stars, and he can salsa dance like…someone who can salsa dance really well. I mean, it doesn’t get much cooler than that. And that much cool has to transfer over by association, right? I vote yes.
9. Matt Harvey
Matt Harvey is a stud. He throws hard, plays hard, and probably parties hard too. And if he can maintain a smile while interviewing people in New York about Matt Harvey without them realizing they’re talking to Matt Harvey, well, that makes him A-OK in my book.
8. Chris Bosh
Bosh is a great third wheel, but he’d be an even better best friend. But that just goes to show you that he doesn’t need to be the main man all the time. He’s cool with taking the backseat and letting others ride shotgun. Or drive. Or buy the car. Although he would probably be the one buying the car in this new best friendship. Unless he’s a truck man. OK, I just got lost in my own metaphor, but you get the point. Plus, he keeps you on your feet with his phenomenal photobombing skillz, and that’s always fun.
7. Brandon McCarthy
Brandon McCarthy is naturally funny and he never seems to take himself too seriously. Or the situation, for that matter, like when he joked around on Twitter just hours after receiving brain surgery that, on the bright side, he set up his fantasy lineups beforehand. Haha. Classic McCarthy. In fact, he’s a really interesting guy. This best friendship comes with a wife, but she’s pretty cool too.
6. Aaron Rodgers
Aaron Rodgers is a goofy dude. There’s really no way around it. But it’s the fun kind of goofy, where instead of making situations awkward with his goofiness, he makes them better. For instance, I bet elevator rides with Rodgers are actually enjoyable. Plus, he’s funny on Twitter, grows a silly Fu Manchu, and photobombs like an expert.
5. Roy Hibbert
Roy Hibbert is a surprisingly funny dude who is as nice as he is tall. (He’s 7’2”, by the way.) And when he’s not dominating the boards, he’s doing super-cool things like guest starring on Parks and Recreation. And if that cast likes him, then you KNOW he’s legit because Amy Poehler has literally never been wrong about anything ever — and Aziz Ansari has all sorts of famous friends, so if he likes Hibbert, that’s really saying something.
4. Brian Wilson
I’m just going to go ahead and say it, Brian Wilson is the funniest athlete in any sport. He’s witty, he’s quick, he’s friendly, and he just loves to have a good time. He also seems to be ridiculously spontaneous, so you know he’s good for an adventure or two.
3. David Ortiz
Having David Ortiz as your best friend is like being best friends with the mayor of Boston. Only in this case, the mayor of Boston is really the World Series MVP, who loves puppies, drinking, and swearing. And in all honesty, you really can’t go wrong with a combination like that.
2. Kevin Durant
KD is a superstar, but he doesn’t act like it off the court. He’s soft-spoken, humble, and super chill. He’s the kind of friend that every mother loves. Like, he’ll come over and your mom will be all, “Kevin! How’s it going? Saw you had a good game last night.” And Kevin will be like, “It wasn’t as good as your cooking, Mrs. T.” And then he’ll give her a big ol’ hug, and turn to you and be like, “Ready to play video games?” And you’ll be all, “You’re the best, Kevin!” You know?
1. Kevin Love
Based on everything that we know about Kevin Love, he seems like he would be the perfect best friend. He’s funny, down to earth, and generally well liked by everyone around him. In fact, his teammates call him “Spread Love.” And even though he’s an All-Star, he acts just like a regular dude. And let’s not forget that his uncle is Mike Love — lead singer of the Beach Boys. As far as best friends go, Kevin Love is the complete package.