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19 Questions Girls Always Ask Guys With Mustaches

“Are you being ironic?”

1. “When are you shaving that?”

You’re dead to me. Please get out of my line of sight.

Ron Swanson — Mustache Owner

2. “Are you allowed near schools or playgrounds?”

MGM Warner Brothers / Via youtube.com

Shut your mouth, or I’ll shut it for you.

Shaft — Mustache Owner

3. “Dad?”

Paramount Pictures / Via youtube.com

Nope, but I know your mom.

Eddie Murphy — Mustache Owner

4. “Where’s the rest of your beard?”

20th Century Fox / Via youtube.com

This is a life choice.

Robert Redford — Mustache Owner

5. “Are you a cop?”

Warner Brothers / Via youtube.com

Yep, and I’m getting too old for this shit.

Roger Murtaugh — Mustache Owner

6. “Do you drive a van?”

Buena Vista Pictures / Via youtube.com

Yep, and I’m gonna run your face over with it.

Bill Murray — Mustache Owner

7. “Are you in porn?”

Orion Pictures / Via youtube.com

Why do you ask? Because of my incredibly large penis?

Ron Burgundy — Mustache Owner

8. “Does it itch?”

Paramount Pictures / Via youtube.com

Nope, does this?

Sean Connery — Mustache Owner

9. “So is this an ironic thing?”

Andrew D. Bernstein / Getty

Does it look like I’m laughing?

Keith Hernandez — Mustache Owner

10. “Do you get food stuck in it?”

Gramercy Pictures / Via youtube.com

Do you want my foot stuck in your ass?

Sam Elliot — Mustache Owner

11. “What actually is a mustache ride?”

Wouldn’t you like to know?

Tom Selleck — Mustache Owner

12. “Does it tickle?”

All night long…

Lionel Richie — Mustache Owner

13. “Do you think I could pull one off?”

The Weinstein Company / Via youtube.com

Ehhhh. No.

Brad Pitt — Mustache Owner

14. “How long have you been growing it?”

I was born with it.

David Wooderson — Mustache Owner

15. “Do you live in [insert hipster neighborhood]?”

Columbia Pictures / Via youtube.com

[Takes deep breath] [Exhales] [Walks away]

Russell Hammond — Mustache Owner

16. “Do you ever get laid?”

What do you think?

Billy Dee Williams — Mustache Owner

17. “Aren’t you embarrassed?”

MGM / Via youtube.com

Never.

Ryan Gosling — Mustache Owner

18. “How do people take you seriously?”

Keystone / Hulton Archive / Getty

Keystone / Hulton Archive / Getty

 

Bitch, please.

Martin Luther King Jr & Albert Einstein — Mustache Owners

19. “But seriously, why?”

Orion Pictures / Via youtube.com

Because I wake up in the morning and feel like this.

Burt Reynolds — Mustache Owner

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