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What Your Hogwarts House Actually Says About You

The Sorting Hat thinks it knows. But it has no idea.

Mackenzie Kruvant / BuzzFeed

Mackenzie Kruvant / BuzzFeed

• Will badger you for Candy Crush lives.

• Will share their Netflix and HBO GO password.

• Bring host gifts anytime they come to your apartment even though they’ve been there a dozen times.

• Will be honest at the end of a date and not say “we should do this again” when they obviously aren’t going to call.

• Will like all of your Instagram photos even though they don’t really think they’re good.

• Like pineapple on their pizza.

• Will wait at the end of a marathon to watch their friend finish even though its 7 a.m.

• Still love much doge.

• Hoard episodes of Hoarders on the DVR.

• Own Cosmos on Blu-ray.

• Defend Taylor Swift because she “just wants to find love.”

• Will go see your stand-up show.

• Always want to play flip cup.

• Will randomly break out in song and dance whether it’s appropriate or not.

• Watch Glee reruns.

• Eat breakfast for every meal of the day.

• Give you their leftovers when they’re finished.

• Offer to split the bill evenly even though they only got a side salad and everybody else had like a whole meal plus appetizers and beverages and the dessert (which they tried a little bit of but didn’t, like, eat an equal portion of, you know?)

• Won’t judge you for unironically watching Twilight.

• Still hug you if you’re sick.

• Think Spider-Man 3 wasn’t that bad.

• Would be most likely to huffle-puff-puff-pass.

• Are most likely to hook up at Comic-Con.

• Remember your parents’ names.

• Don’t just go to alumni events for free food and alcohol.

• Make a living off of their famous internet cat.

• Genuinely use Facebook to find old high school friends.

Mackenzie Kruvant / BuzzFeed

• Will honestly and thoroughly fill out their LinkedIn account.

• Will fight with you about how realistic movies are.

• Say there is no difference between spaghetti and shaped pasta.

• Plan and attend young adult networking events.

• Keep all of their vacation days to use in one chunk on a large, well-planned trip.

• Still watch Grey’s Anatomy.

• Point out the producer in the background of The Bachelor.

• Run a separate Instagram for their food.

• Are total closet hotties.

• Will raise their hand with a question right before class is dismissed.

• Have sex in the library.

• Have an Einstein poster in their dorm.

• Win trivia on a team called “Hallows Be Our Game.”

• Write a think piece about Kanye West.

• Eat full-fat yogurt.

• Are big fans of “superfoods”.

• Still buy vinyl.

• Go as a pun for Halloween.

• Would run to become the treasurer of a sorority or fraternity.

• Call out your grammatical error on a Facebook post.

• Tell you that you shouldn’t get a dog yet.

• Are unironically obsessed with the royal family.

• Wear Rugby (the brand) but have never played Rubgy (the sport).

• Name their kids after a young adult fiction character.

• Date a professor.

• Can actually successfully follow Pinterest hair tutorials.

• Post an article that they only half-read to show their support.

Mackenzie Kruvant / BuzzFeed

• Say that they aren’t using your Netflix account but they really are.

• Run a Tumblr for HBO Go passwords.

• Use the comment section to yell at the author.

• Will slow clap for you when you come home in the clothing you wore the night before.

• Don’t argue when someone offers to pick up the check.

• Will stay up and watch all of Orange Is the New Black in the first night and then spoil it for everyone the next morning.

• Will creepselfie celebs on the street.

• Write their own Cards Against Humanity deck.

• Take a BuzzFeed quiz over and over until they get the result that they want. Share that result.

• Ran an illegal Butterbeer phrostie business.

• Say Ari Gold is their role model.

• Don’t tag spoilers on Tumblr.

• Finish the milk and put the container back in the fridge.

• When someone is like, “Does this make me look fat?” they don’t even look up they just say yes.

• Are most likely to use #ootd (outfit of the day).

• Tell you a food is vegetarian even if it’s made with meat broth.

• Are your boss.

• Don’t front enough money when you’re splitting the bill at a big dinner.

• Identify with Walter White.

• Have a piece of clothing with ***flawless on it.

• Text back “k.”

• Use the word basic excessively.

• Were a beloved child actor.

• Look you right in the eye before taking the last slice of pizza.

• Make fun of you for liking Jay Z because that’s not “real rap.”

Mackenzie Kruvant / BuzzFeed

• Do it for the Vine.

• Kill the bug/mouse/whatever’s creepy crawling in your room.

• Celebrate their birthday for a whole week.

• Sing Journey at karaoke.

• Yell “Free Bird” at a concert.

• Name their Wi-Fi “The Chamber of Secrets.”

• Protest a Westboro Baptist Church protest.

• Know only one song on guitar *anyway here’s some “Wonderwall”*

• Go to a sporting event in the middle of winter in a bikini/no shirt and facepaint.

• Organize a themed pub crawl.

• Try to convince people (and fail) that they’re not drunk when they obviously are.

• Try CrossFit.

• Initiate a game of “Never Have I Ever” during a college party.

• Chase shots with other shots.

• Get a tattoo after losing a bet.

• Live for Transformation (Transfiguration) Tuesday.

• Get overly competitive at Risk.

• Drink cheap beer and slap the bag.

• Dominate at beer pong.

• Don’t make their bed because they say, “I’m just going to get back into it at the end of the day anyway.”

• Say Miley Cyrus is lame but sing every word to “Wrecking Ball.”

• Audition for American Idol with one of the judge’s songs.

• End up in the wizarding version of Magic Mike.

• Have a pull-up bar hanging from their doorframe.

• Still watch the World Cup after their team loses.

Still not sure which house you should be in? We’ve got your back.

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