The 60 Most Ridiculous Moments In The First Season Of "Smash"

We know why Smash’s first season was such a train wreck, but how did that play out for those of us tuning in? Presented in chronological order, let us count the ways.

1. Karen auditions for “Bombshell” with “Beautiful.”

Mark Seliger / NBC

Because nothing says Broadway and Marilyn Monroe like Xtina.

ID: 862480

2. Leo is upset that his parents are thinking about not adopting a new baby.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

No teenage boy cares this much about not getting a little sister — especially a kid as needy as Leo.

ID: 862317

3. Karen experiences her first fantasy musical number.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

And it’s a sultry cover of Blondie’s “Call Me.” Though intended as a clever way to add pop songs into a Broadway-heavy show, this is the first of many awkward and forced dream sequences.

ID: 862324

4. Eileen throws a drink in Jerry’s face. Again.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

She seriously never gets tired of this.

ID: 862425

5. Michael is performing in a Bruno Mars musical.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

In what circle of Hell would this kind of thing get made?

ID: 862354

6. Ellis steals Julia’s notebooks because he’s pissed that he’s not getting credit for the Marilyn idea.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Then he makes vague threats and returns the notebooks. Best villain of all time.

ID: 862445

7. Karen returns to Iowa and performs “Redneck Woman” at karaoke.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

It is the least convincing version of any song, ever.

ID: 862387

8. Ivy and Michael sing the terrible “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” and somehow the producers still want this musical to get made.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Really, it’s awful.

ID: 862396

9. Members of the ensemble give “Iowa” a Broadway makeover.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

These people go from monsters to mentors in a split second.

ID: 862424

10. Lyle instantly knows how to sing and play “Never Met a Wolf Who Didn’t Like to Howl.”

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Fast learner, that one. It’s uncanny.

ID: 862433

11. Karen and her fellow cast members perform a flawlessly choreographed “Rumour Has It.”

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Which they learned … when, exactly? Must have been during all the downtime from the musical they’re constantly rehearsing.

ID: 862456

12. Rehearsals continue with more major dance numbers, even though “Bombshell” still doesn’t have a book.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

This is not how Broadway works!

ID: 862515

13. Leo gets arrested for smoking weed in the park.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

On the page, Leo’s marijuana bender is believable enough, but the actor can’t sell it. Not even a little.

ID: 862506

14. Julia gives Leo an absurd speech about the dangers of drug addiction.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Like he’s the only teenager in New York who got caught getting high in the park. Whatever. Parenting.

ID: 862519

15. Karen learns to be sexy, and it’s embarrassing for everyone.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Also, the message seems to be that women should use their sexual wiles to get ahead. Stay classy, Smash!

ID: 862499

16. Michael and Julia kiss outside of Julia’s house, even though her kid is right inside.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Someone needs a refresher course in extramarital affairs. Infidelity 101?

ID: 862493

17. Julia still hasn’t written a book for this show, and Tom defends her.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Because she has adoption drama, you guys. And it’s not like Bombshell isn’t coming together perfectly without a goddamn script.

ID: 862683

18. Julia and Michael carry on their clandestine affair without being clandestine at all.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

If they’re in a public place, they’re either making eyes at each other or full-on nuzzling each other’s faces.

ID: 862671

19. Ivy has to take prednisone after losing her voice, and she acts like it’s a hardcore drug.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Prednisone. You know, what they give people with asthma, the hardest drug abusers.

ID: 862694

20. Ellis gets in Eileen’s good graces, despite being the most unlikable character on a show filled with unlikable characters.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

Lurk much?

ID: 862701

21. Karen has no idea what a Bar Mitzvah is.

Patrick Harbron / NBC

She’s from Iowa, OK? They don’t have Jews there. And they definitely don’t have Jews on Broadway.

ID: 862709

22. Karen dazzles the crowd with everyone’s favorite Bar Mitzvah song, “Shake It Out.”

Patrick Harbron / NBC

She’s not even all that good, but some big-shot music producer sees big talent there. OK.

ID: 862720

23. Julia and Michael have sex, then continue being the worst at having an affair.

Eric Liebowitz / NBC

Keep it in your pants. Christ. You’re at work.

ID: 862732

24. Karen gets studio time based solely on her mediocre Bar Mitzvah performance.

Will Hart / NBC

It’s a tough business, unless you’re Karen.

ID: 862744

25. Ivy’s mom is basically Bernadette Peters playing herself, and this is the first we’ve heard of it.

Will Hart / NBC

If your mom is one of the biggest Broadway stars ever, I think you’d have a pretty serious leg up. The family name alone would sell tickets to that show. And would getting a backer really be that impossible?

ID: 862754

26. Leigh performs “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” for the “Bombshell” cast.

Will Hart / NBC

With minimal prompting and no preparation. Sure, she loves attention, but she’s not even getting any publicity from this. Broadway divas don’t just give it away for free.

ID: 862770

27. Michael and Julia ad-lib a scene between Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe.

Will Hart / NBC

I’m just not sure there improv skills are there? Also, the scene mirrors their lives perfectly, because it’s that kind of show. Also, also, why can’t Julia write the fucking book already?

ID: 862804

28. Eileen’s sexy bartender love interest hires illegal labor to get the heat fixed.

Eric Liebowitz / NBC

Like you do.

ID: 862825

29. Everyone acts like the workshop is a disaster, even though Ivy is the only real talent here.

Will Hart / NBC

Megan Hilty consistently kills it. Don’t try to pin this on her, producers.

ID: 862817

30. Julia breaks it off with Michael, who brings his wife and kid along for the ride.

Craig Blankenhorn / NBC

Why break up with your mistress on your own? Bring along the whole family to rub her face in it.

ID: 862860

31. Leo faces a judge for the crime of trespassing on grass.

Craig Blankenhorn / NBC

Not smoking grass, mind you. He’s seriously in trouble for walking where he wasn’t supposed to.

ID: 862871

32. Karen goes behind everyone’s backs to test out an edgier Marilyn show.

Craig Blankenhorn / NBC

There are strobe lights and masks and underwear. It’s somehow even worse than Bombshell.

ID: 862894

33. Frank finds Julia’s new song and manages to piece together that she’s been cheating on him.

Eric Liebowitz / NBC

Oh, was it not obvious enough when they were constantly macking on each other in public? Frank goes from shockingly oblivious to so intuitive it’s downright supernatural.

ID: 862925

34. Frank punches Michael in the face.

Craig Blankenhorn / NBC

But only because he didn’t have a martini to throw instead.

ID: 862933

35. Karen is cast in an orange juice commercial where she’s forced to wear a full-body latex suit.

Craig Blankenhorn / NBC

Because it’s all green screen, and I guess she’s supposed to be a disembodied face? Orange juice!

ID: 862973

36. Norbert Leo Butz is starring in this bullshit musical about angels.

Will Hart / NBC

I guess stranger things have happened. Did you hear about the Bruno Mars musical?

ID: 862949

37. Ivy loses herself to substances, because prednisone is a gateway drug.

Craig Blankenhorn / NBC

Her descent into addiction happens with terrifying speed, but hey, isn’t that how it always goes? (No.)

ID: 862955

38. Ivy makes a complete ass of herself on stage.

Will Hart / NBC

I’m sure lots of performers do drugs backstage. But they generally don’t fall flat on their faces, especially if they want to have any sort of career in the future. That’s our Ivy!

ID: 862958

39. Karen and Ivy perform a Rihanna duet in the middle of Times Square.

Eric Liebowitz / NBC

In a series full of absurd and unwatchable musical numbers, this is one of them.

ID: 862979

40. Ivy and Karen are friends now, even though Karen just stole the part of Marilyn.

Will Hart / NBC

They sang Rihanna. That’s what happens.

ID: 863007

41. Ivy imagines herself as Marilyn and sings Kelly Clarkson’s “Breakaway.”

Will Hart / NBC

Ah, “Breakaway,” that Marilyn Monroe standard.

ID: 863010

42. Julia and Tom see a production of the first show they ever wrote, which is unbelievably bad.

Will Hart / NBC

Like, it would have been outdated before they were born. And yet, somehow, it started two great careers on Broadway. I’ll never understand showbiz.

ID: 863016

43. Nick gives Eileen a bunch of money that he has stashed away for when he needs to invest in a Broadway show.

Craig Blankenhorn / NBC

Super convenient.

ID: 863020

44. Rebecca was apparently hired without anyone checking that she could sing.

Will Hart / NBC

And she can’t! Reminder: she’ll be starring in Bombshell, a musical.

ID: 863028

45. Ellis foils his own plot when he forgets how call waiting works.

Will Hart / NBC

Gold star for you, Ellis.

ID: 863041

46. Derek imagines a really silly number because he’s still fantasizing about Karen as Marilyn.

Will Hart / NBC

It must be her charisma!

ID: 863050

47. Rebecca is suddenly able to sing and dance.

Will Hart / NBC

Yes, all it took was one episode for someone who didn’t really know what a musical was to perform the big showstopper.

ID: 863059

48. Rebecca decides to become best friends with Karen for no apparent reason.

Will Hart / NBC

Karen is dull, and Rebecca is very, very famous. But sure, they should definitely hang out all the time.

ID: 863116

49. Karen imagines a Bollywood number that ends up being the worst thing “Smash” has ever done.

Will Hart / NBC


ID: 863133
Will Hart / NBC


ID: 863141
Will Hart / NBC


ID: 863145
Will Hart / NBC


ID: 863149
Will Hart / NBC


ID: 863154

50. Rebecca sings “Happy Birthday” as Marilyn.

Will Hart / NBC

It’s more embarrassing than My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

ID: 863193

51. Karen turns down Dev’s proposal with the best line of the series.

Craig Blankenhorn / NBC

“I can’t get married — I’m in tech.” In a way, aren’t we all.

ID: 863184

52. Ivy and Dev meet as strangers, which makes very little sense.

Will Hart / NBC

And then they have sex. That I’ll buy.

ID: 863203

53. Julia blames Tom for Michael getting rehired.

Will Hart / NBC

Yes, it’s Tom’s fault you had a bunch of extramarital sex with Michael. Also Tom’s fault that the new DiMaggio dropped out. Fuck Tom, basically.

ID: 863247

54. There is a homoerotic steam room number.

Will Hart / NBC

The more we see of Bombshell, the more perplexing it is.

ID: 863259

55. The entire cast and crew goes to church.

Will Hart / NBC

Because that’s how we do in Boston. What. And once again, Karen is trying to steal the show, this time screwing over this poor church choir.

ID: 863275

56. Rebecca is poisoned with peanuts in her smoothie.

Will Hart / NBC

This happened. We let it happen.

ID: 863281


Will Hart / NBC

Opening night, y’all. OPENING. NIGHT.

ID: 863345

58. Ellis admits to poisoning Rebecca, and somehow isn’t arrested.

Will Hart / NBC

All’s fair in love and Broadway, even attempted homicide.

ID: 863336

59. Karen scrambles to learn the part of Marilyn, because Rebecca didn’t have an understudy.

Will Hart / NBC

Bombshell has to be the worst planned musical in history, and that includes Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.

ID: 863362

60. After months of speculation, Karen performs as Marilyn, which was a foregone conclusion.

Patrick Randak / NBC

Suspense, my ass: this was the way it was always going to go. Meanwhile, Ivy pops pills backstage, and we stare in wonder, struggling to understand why we put so many hours into this unequivocal mess. And scene.

ID: 863374

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

  Your Reaction?


    Now Buzzing