1. You regularly faked a British accent when you were a kid.
2. Especially when you were binge-reading Harry Potter.
3. And you still do now, when you’re drunk.
“PIP PIP CHEERIO, EH CHAP?” you say to the empty barstool.
4. But even when you’re sober, you still think the British terms for most things sound better.
“Lift” vs. “elevator,” there’s no competition.
5. You completely agree that “football” is the name of that sport you play by kicking a ball around with your feet.
You are literally USING ONLY YOUR FEET.
6. You dream of a world where “tea time” is a universal thing.
7. Depending on the day, you either daydream about dropping everything and moving to the beautiful English countryside…
8. …or bustling, amazing London.
9. And no matter what day it is, you daydream about spending your lunch break in an English pub with a good book.
Maybe a certain something by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
10. You really and truly believe Emma Thompson should be Queen of Everything.
11. Kenneth Branagh is either the reason you first fell in love with Shakespeare, or the reason you now watch Shakespeare constantly.
12. And you secretly long for the days of the Greatest British Couple In History.
LOVE IS DEAD, R.I.P. LOVE.
13. You have spent entire days of your life watching the entire BBC miniseries version of Pride and Prejudice.
14. And every other Jane Austen movie adaptation.
15. As a result, you have unrealistically high expectations of your significant others.
“Have I ‘bewitched you body and soul?’ WELL, HAVE I?”
16. You’re extremely grateful you’re brunette, or have considered going brunette because of one perfect woman:
17. Who proved normal people can become royalty.
18. Your friends have had to talk you out of buying a Kate statement hat more than once.
19. You have a great admiration for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Supreme Thrower of Shade.
THE MOST FABULOUS.
21. And have become far, far too invested in the characters’ well-being.
But Julian Fellowes DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR HEARTACHE.
22. You swoon when you hear a legit British accent, no matter who’s talking. Every. Time.