1. The narrator makes a wild generalization about brides/women. (“EVERY girl dreams of looking like a fairy-tale royal princess on her special day.”)
2. The consultants meet to assign that day’s clients and tell us they’re good at their jobs.
3. The first bride introduces herself and tells us that her fiancé is the love of her life.
4. The bride says she’s hoping to find the perfect dress that really makes a statement.
5. The bride introduces the 4-27 people she’s brought with her to look for the dress.
6. A consultant says it’s risky having so many people come to the appointment.
7. The mother of the bride begins raising concerns.
8. The mother of the bride decides to start looking around the store herself.
9. The first dress is OK.
10. The bride makes some wacky jokes about the second dress she tries on, accompanied by jovial music.
11. Another bride comes in with her enormously bitchy sister.
12. The bride says something like, “My sister and I butt heads, but I love her.”
13. The sister of the bride makes a series of nasty remarks about the bride’s dresses, body, and personality.
14. The bride stews in the dressing room/wonders if there is still time to disown herself.
15. The bride’s sister gets everyone in the peanut gallery to give dresses they dislike the thumbs down.
16. The bride’s sister grows horns and black wings and flies up to the ceiling, cackling evilly. Practically.
17. Another bride asks to look at some dresses that are “just a little” above her budget.
18. A bride loves (LOVES) the very expensive dresses.
19. The bride tells her family that the dress she likes is $1,000-2,000 more than they talked about, and her parents shake their heads.
20. The father of the bride caves on the increased budget.
21. A bride says, “I’m very traditional.”
22. A bride says, “I’m not traditional. I’m more quirky.”
23. A bride asks to look at non-white dresses and everyone tries to talk her out of it.
24. A bride says she wants her dress to be sexy.
25. A bride tries on a dress with sheer stomach paneling.
26. Someone says, “The dress is wearing you. You should be wearing the dress.”
27. The bride with the mean sister buys something after becoming emotionally worn down. Her evil sister says she likes it.
28. A consultant says, “I just need to find her a dress that says, ‘Wow.’”
29. A bride likes a dress but says, “It just didn’t give me that ‘this is it’ feeling.”
30. A bride refuses to try on a dress to assert her authority.
31. A bride’s group loves a dress that she hates, and vice versa.
32. A bride brings in a small scrapbook of pictures of dresses she’s torn out of magazines.
33. A bride comes in who wants her dress to feature lace, sequins, glitter, tulle, and floral detail.
34. A bride comes in who does not want a dress with any lace, sequins, glitter, tulle, or floral detail.
35. A bride says, “I want a Cinderella dress.”
36. A bride asks for something unexpected and wacky, like that she wants her dress to be “pirate-y.”
37. The store is out of stock in a very specific dress requested by the bride and the consultant says, “I’m a pro, this is what I do.”
38. Randy endears himself to the bride and the audience by helping the bride realize that she’s more than the silhouette of the dress she wanted when she came in.
39. A consultant says, “We could make a little sleeve out of this lace.”
40. A consultant says, “Let’s try it with a ribbon around the waist.”
41. A consultant says, “Let’s try throwing on a veil.”
42. A consultant is like, “Let’s try a Pnina Tornai.”
43. A bride comes in to pick up her dress from alterations and finds that it’s too short/long.
44. The tailor argues with the bride about how long the dress is.
45. The bride worries that the tailor isn’t going to be able to make the dress fit the way she wants.
46. The tailor is able to make the dress fit the way the bride wants.
47. At least half of the brides will get strapless dresses.
48. A consultant asks, “Are you saying yes to the dress?”
49. The bride says yes to the dress.
50. A bride’s mom starts crying while she’s on the pedestal and the bride says, “You’re going to make me cry!” while she’s crying.
51. Formerly evil family members “go speechless.”
52. Everyone claps.
53. A 10-second shot of wedding footage runs and you (almost, barely) cry.