1. In school and at work, you’ll never get to be THE Katie.
Sometimes the first Katie in a place gets OG status, and then the rest have to have their last name initials added, and it causes all kinds of in-group resentment.
2. You’ll (ALMOST) never be short on souvenir swag.
You’re so used to seeing your name included among the keychains and license plates that it feels like a PERSONAL ATTACK when, all of a sudden, you scroll right from “Kate” to “Kathy” to “Karen” and DON’T see a Katie.
3. Somehow, you get asked ALL THE TIME: “Katie — is that short for something?”
And you have to be like, “Yep.” Yep!!!! Obviously!!!!!
4. Your name isn’t recognized for the extensive, mysterious full names it’s possibly short for.
Maybe it doesn’t even START with a K or C.
5. But the only person who calls you by the full version of your name is your dentist.
And maybe your grandparents. And your credit card company!!!
6. On the first day of school you always had to be like, “ACTUALLY, I go by Katie.”
7. And once you’ve asked to go by Katie, there’s always someone who tries to be like “Oh, Katherine/Kathleen is so much prettier, though.”
[SEETHING WITH INWARD RAGE]
8. Most of your friends’ dads call you “Kate.”
The name “Katie” is unpronounceable to a certain sector of middle-aged men. They’ll never remember. It’s not worth correcting.
9. You have an instinctive, reflexive distrust of your dastardly cousin — the Katy.
What makes you so SPECIAL, huh? Are you in a hurry? Are you trying to save yourself some time by cutting out that extra letter?? Where are you GOING, anyway?
10. And ever since THIS ONE showed up, people seem to think “Katy” is the default spelling. BUT IT’S NOT.
KATY is the exception, not the rule.
11. And there’s always that one girl whose hippie parents just HAD to spell it all *uniquely.*
12. Katies are rudely stereotyped as the vaguely complimentary but mostly boring “girl next door.”
13. On the plus side, Katies are literally always so beautiful you could practically die looking at them.
Obviously this Urban Dictionary entry was not written BY a Katie, or anything.
14. Sometimes people accuse Katies of being a little bossy and/or crazy.
How is it possible to be the bossy, crazy, best friend’s sister next door? It’s TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
15. Everyone’s always like, “But you’re going to go by Katherine/Kathleen/Kathy when you’re older, right?” Because they think Katie is a name for LITTLE GIRLS.
But you know what, no. It is weird to tell someone to change their name just because they’re 30 or whatever. Katie for life.