1. Because he was the cutest athlete of all time.
He played soccer at the College of William & Mary, from which he graduated in 1984.
3. He’s a self-made comedian.
After college, Stewart worked as a contingency planner for the New Jersey Department of Human Services, a contract administrator for the City University of New York, a puppeteer for children with disabilities, a soccer coach at Gloucester High School in Virginia, a caterer, a busboy, a shelf stocker at Woolworth’s, and a bartender as he honed his comedy act at places like the Comedy Cellar.
4. He’s the first person we turn to for trenchant coverage of even the worst news.
5. In 2009, Americans voted him their most trusted newsman.
That’s right, he beat out BRIAN WILLIAMS.
6. Even the White House has acknowledged his ability to bring awareness to important political matters.
In 2010, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters that Stewart may well have helped pass a health care bill for 9/11 first responders.
7. Because you would look like a total idiot wearing this hoodie and not like a suave GQMF.
9. Because he has embarrassing blips in his career just like you:
11. Because he still has home state pride:
(He grew up in Lawrenceville, N.J.)
12. The time he owned Tucker Carlson ON HIS OWN SHOW:
13. At 50, he’s pretty much the definition of silver fox.
You satire that news for me, Jon. You satire it good.
14. His kids are really, really adorable:
15. He proposed to his wife, Tracey McShane, with a personalized crossword puzzle created with the help of Will Shortz, the crossword editor at the New York Times.
(They’ve been married since 2000.)
18. He’s obsessed with Bruce Springsteen, like any good New Jerseyan.
In December 2009, Stewart gave a speech at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts honoring Springsteen, one of 2009’s Kennedy Center Honors recipients. In March 2012, he interviewed him for Rolling Stone. In February 2013, Stewart gave another speech paying tribute to Springsteen as part of the singer’s MusiCares Person of the Year award ceremony. Springsteen has also appeared on the Daily Show several times.