For Everyone Who Has A “Thing” For Redhead Men

This post is for you.

1. QUESTION: Are redhead men more physically attractive than other types of men?

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2. ANSWER: Fuck yes they are, to state the obvious.

Ben Pruchnie / Via Getty
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3. That’s because their red locks shine brighter than all the other colors combined…

Andrew H. Walker / Via Getty
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4. …seducing us like a bird of paradise’s mating dance.

Hello, I will be yours if you’ll have me?

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5. Mmmm yes.

Check out Thomas Knights’ Red Hot exhibition for more hot redhead action.

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6. Good god, my pants just fell off.

Thank you, Simon Woods, for reminding me how dumb pants are.

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8. OK, OK. No more yelling. Ewan McGregor becomes frightened around loud noises.

Jason Merritt / Getty Images

And I don’t want to scare his ginger face off.

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9. Yes, fixating on one hair color is a straight-up fetish.

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10. And objectifying men is WRONG.

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11. But, like, so wrong it’s good…right?

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12. So fucking good.

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Shhh… Benedict Cumberbatch… Just let me gaze upon you in peace.

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14. And yes, I know that natural redheads are only 0.5% of the world’s population, so it’s not even a practical fetish.

Isaac Brekken / Getty Images

Shaun White’s like .0000001%, though, because he’s a ginger gold medalist many times over, a subcategory all its own.

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15. They’re like beautiful unicorns that walk among us.

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16. But whatever, I’m just going to be that person with a fetish who shamelessly objectifies redhead men. Whatever, I’m DTF with it.

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BTW, haiii Michael C. Hall. :::kisses:::

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17. Redheads with piercings are totally hot.

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18. Redheads who are royals: HOT.

Stefan Wermuth / Reuters
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19. Redheads with guitars and beautiful angel voices: TOTALLY DTF WITH THAT.

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Haiii, Josh Homme, let’s talk about doing stuff, or not doing stuff, just so long as we’re talking.

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20. Redheads flaunting a touch of bicep: SUPER HOT.

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21. Redheads with ginger beards who ALSO make you LOL… I JUST BLACKED OUT.

Frazer Harrison

Mark Davis / Getty

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22. Way more blacked out.

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23. Don’t wake me up, I’m happy here, JUST LEAVE ME.

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24. Hold up, hold up, I spoke too soon…

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25. Rupert Grint’s magical mane is making me see the light again.

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26. Also, here’s another cool thing about redhead men: Beach hair was basically made for them.

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27. But so was spiked hair, as Rob Kazinsky proves.

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
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28. And on top of being breathtaking masterpieces, I’m sure that redhead men have great personalities, and are smart, or whatever.

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29. But I don’t really care about that right now, because I’m way too busy trying to wipe the drool away.

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30. Maybe Seth Green will let me use his tinge of ginge beard as a drool cloth?

Steve Granitz / WireImage / Getty Images

Seth? Help a lady out?

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Paul A. Hebert / Getty Images

I’m positively parched now. I need some water. Gah dahm, Kevin McKidd.

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32. Instead of Eddie Redmayne, feel free to simply call him RILF*. / Via Getty

(*AKA “Redhead I’d Like to French.” And by “French,” I mean that’s where we’d start.)

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33. BONUS PIC: The prince with his royal hand by his royal ginger jewels.

David Hartley / REX USA

I can’t with this right now…

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34. And BECAUSE WE ALL NEED THIS: Here are Prince Harry’s ginger abs.

David Hartley / REX USA


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