1. You can have something like this for breakfast and no one will judge you, because you’re just being patriotic.
2. In fact, you can binge drink all day!
And if people question any of your binge drinking or potato-eating ways, you can just remind them of this terribly accurate Irish food pyramid.
3. Bountiful meat and potatoes? Today it’s yours — eat up!
4. It’s a holiday where religion, ethnicity, hell, even appropriateness are thrown out the window: Non-Irish people can freely celebrate.
Looking at you, Ilish.
5. When you’re a bartender on St. Patrick’s Day, you’ve won the drunken lottery.
6. This holiday officially makes up for all of that Valentine’s BS you had to put up with.
7. Cats hate being dressed up in general, but on St. Paddy’s they do appreciate a festive beard and cap.
Well, “appreciate” might not be the right word.
8. This is the one night of the year where grandmas will drink you under the table.
Unless you know my grandma, and she’ll drink you under the table every night if you so desire.
9. Did you eat your greens today? You bet your Irish arse you did!
11. Even Disneyland goes Irish and paints the downtown area green!
They also serve up Guinness and corned beef with cabbage, that’s just how much Mickey loves you.
14. It’s a day where you can make a bad pun like the below and still get a high five.
16. Parades filled with Irish step dancing! Just try not to smile when you see those feet jig about!
17. Get ready, slobbery dogs, because this is your day to ask strangers to kiss you.
18. Luckily for those dogs, everyone’s breath will be a whole lot sweeter, because all of the desserts are mint flavored!
19. It’s the perfect opportunity to catch up on iconic Irish films, like “The Departed.” (Look at that sassy leopard robe! Sooo Irish!)
There’s also Finian’s Rainbow with Fred Astaire, Leap Year, The Devil’s Own, Far and Away. Oh, and how could I forget: the Disney movie Luck of the Irish.
20. If you’re a redhead, you’ll be crowned a god and score free drinks all day.
21. You can get away with calling anything your pot of gold, and I do mean anything…
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