Foreigners React To Typical Argentine Things

Not everyone is a fan of Messi and mate.

Argentina is a crazy, fun, sensational country, but it can be a bit confusing for foreigners.

We asked BuzzFeed's international staff to tell us how they felt based on traditional argentine images. These are their answers:

1. Mate.

Flickr: julianrod

What do you think this tastes like?

Marie (NY): Dust and earth and an aftertaste of tobacco. It looks like something you should inhale rather than taste.

Jessica (NY): It looks like a drink made out of grass and sawdust.

Hilary (London): It looks like half a pint of pot served in a half a coconut shell being poured from a hot drink urn. I'm not sure what it tastes like, but coffee mornings must be really wild in Argentina.

Sarah (Toronto): A tropical drink that you dropped in the forest.

Grace (NY): Oh, definitely woodchips.

2. Messi.

Gabriel Bouys / Getty Images

Who is this?

Daniela (NY): THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

Hillary (LA): Beckham of Buenos Aires.

Pepe (Mexico): The son of God and Goofy.

Monique (NY): A soccer player who is confused because he forgot the hand signals the team established earlier in practice.

Hilary (London): Clearly a footballer, but not sure who. He should be legally forced to do something about his hair though: you don't want a man with half a mullet representing your country.

3. Empanada.

Flickr: elbroka

How does this make you feel?

Anniely (NY): SO GOOD because it is an arepa and arepas are DOPE. I want it in my mouth right now.

Sheridan (LA): Um YUM. GET IN ME NOW. It represents everything I love in the world: Meat and bread. I'd leave my husband for this empanada, no joke.

Daniela (NY): It makes me feel like happiness comes in a half-moon shape and filled with meat.

Hilary (London): Sorry Argentina, but hold up. This is clearly a British delicacy known as a cornish pasty. You don't want to anger Cornwall residents by stealing it. They're a grumpy bunch.

Sarah (NY): Happy in my tummy

4. Fernet with Coke.

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And this?

Alex (LA): I strongly feel that Coke should be left alone to shine.

Juliana (Sao Paulo): Probably drunk.

Luis (Mexico): Confused. Is it Coke? Is it alcohol? Is it both in one?

Lincoln (NY): A perfect drink for children!

Sheridan (LA): I don't know what's happening but my stomach is bubbling and I think I have to run to the bathroom. Something about this doesn't look right. Too sweet, too bubbly, NO THANKS.

5. Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, current President.

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Who is this?

Marie (NY): A politician who somehow finds time to apply a shit tone of make-up.

Jessica (NY): #tbt from la Tigresa del Oriente?

Anniely (NY): Do real housewives of Argentina exist in Argentina?

Charlotte (LA): The first lady.

Sarah (NY): Some old performer diva everyone loves

Hilary (London): Probably the queen. Or a footballers wife. Or the Argentinian version of J.K. Rowling. People seem to really like her, despite her misguided decision to wear beige sequins.

Sarah (Toronto): Someone's mom trying to steal the spotlight.

Iran (Sao Paulo): Crazy President.

Grace (NY): The coolest pop band.

6. Classic argentine insult.

Conz Preti/BuzzFeed

What does this mean?*

Daniela (NY): "That your friend's sister went to the beach and lost her conch and when you found it on the sand you said "Your sister's conch!".

Hillary (LA): Fuck your sis?

Greta (LA): I'm an only daughter so.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alex (SF): Something of my sister's that I'm not sure I want to know.

*It means "the pussy of your sister"

7. Alfajor made of maizena.

instagram.com

What do you think this tastes like?

Charlotte (LA): Dry and a little disappointing. They never taste as good as they look.

Sarah (NY): Sweet, sweet diabetes.

Lincoln (NY): Is this an Oreo on steroids? I'm intrigued. *bites lip* *winks seductively* *unbuttons blouse*

Sheridan (LA): There are too many different textures. Is it a cookie? Is it a cake? Why is there jam? Are there crumbs? Is that coconut? MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

Grace (NY): Cheesecake with coconut?????? (Please let me be right)

8. Gilda, a cumbia signer who passed away in a tragic car accident and is now considered a saint.

cordobatimes.com

What do you think is happening here?

Marie (NY): An extra from Xena has ran away and settled in the middle of Patagonia where she picks flowers and talks to trees.

Alex (LA): This woman is marrying a horse, which I believe is or at least should be illegal.

Juliana (Sao Paulo): A videoclip!

Anniely (NY): Awkward wedding photo?

Pepe (Mexico): Cher is getting married to a horse.

Sarah (Toronto): Photo shoot before a Lana Del Rey concert.

9. And a very commonly used slang.

Conz Preti/BuzzFeed

What does this mean? *

Marie (NY): A handsome dude called Ludo.

Alex (LA): I think this is one of the characters from Inside Out.

Alex (SF): Balls.

Hilary (London): Boludo! It means bull-doo doo. It's an expression of disbelief. Like "Did you see she wore beige sequins? No, really." "BOLUDO"

Grace (NY): It's just the sound of someone burping

*It means idiot.

10. Uncooked BBQ.

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What is this?

Adam (NY): My nightmares.

Luis (Mexico): Props from an episode of The Walking Dead.

Lincoln (NY): These are all the parts of the pig that you *don't* eat, right?

Sheridan (LA): No. No. NOOOOOOO. I draw the line at intestines. I don't even eat hot dogs!

Baxter (Mexico): Ugggghhh. But yuuuummmm. But ugggghhh, this photo.

11. Tango.

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What are these two doing?

Baxter (Mexico): Sensuality from the 21st century.

Sarah (NY): Salsa dancing

Greta (LA): How can she dance with such a short and tight skirt?

Monique (NY): Bachata. Literally vertical sex with clothes on. For some reason they think it's acceptable to fornicate in front of a public audience.

Julia (NY): Tinder in Argentina is slightly more complicated - this is what swiping right looks like.

Hilary (London): Either the tango, the flamenco or the Macarena. Probably the latter.

Grace (NY): She's like, "My nose is cold!!" And he's like, "Don't worry. Nuzzle it in my neck."

12. The church of Maradona.

record.com.mx

What do you think this is?

Daniela (NY): When being a fan gets out of control.

Charlotte (LA): I mean, it looks like an ordinary church, but why is Dios spelled with the number 1? Is this some kind of youth-targeted church advertising?

Baxter (Mexico): Absolute proof that argentines are crazy.

Lincoln (NY): Definitely the pope's mansion.

Sheridan (LA): A church or museum to Maradona. It's only fitting considering the fact that he got a "hand" from God wink wink, nudge nudge.

13. Patagonia.

Flickr: douglucas

How do you feel about this?

Hillary (LA): It's confusing that it can be so cold in south america

Lincoln (NY): Meh. I've seen bigger.

Sarah (Toronto): I feel like I should be to Argentina ASAP. If not for the food and culture, then for the Instagrams.

Anup (London): I want to spend a weekend there and have Francis Mallmann whole-roast me some Andean Lamb.

Vicki (NY): Photoshopped probably.