24. Christopher Plummer
We like sound of your music, Captain von Trapp.
23. Earl Cameron
Is it too EARLy for swooning? No? Good. Swooooooon
22. Tony Curtis
We don’t even care that your pants are basically at your nipples and your belt is on sideways. YOU’RE A HOT MESS.
21. James Stewart
It’s a wonderful life now that you’re here, Jimmy.
20. Burt Lancaster
DID IT BURT? WHEN YOU FELL FROM BEAVEN?
19. Charlton Heston
Ben Hur, DONE THAT (we wish).
18. Tab Hunter
Nice butt chin, can we see your other one?
17. Guy Madison
You’re pretty like a girl, but for some reason WE’RE INTO IT.
16. Anthony Perkins
You make US go psycho, Anthony. You can stab us in the shower any day (IF YA KNOW WHAT WE MEAN).
15. Steve Reeves
14. Elvis Presley
More like Elvis YES-ley, amirite?
13. Cary Grant
We absolutely GRANT you permission.
12. Omar Sharif
O. Mar. Gawd.
11. Sidney Poitier
10. Clark Gable
Can I borrow your handkerchief? It just got steamy in here.
9. Desi Arnaz
Rick ain’t icky, WE’LL TELL YA THAT MUCH.
8. James Dean
You know what’s really smokin’? YOUR FACE.
7. Bruce Lee
Oh please oh please oh please kick our asses.
6. Gregory Peck
It would be an honor to touch those Gregory Pecks, sir.
5. Marlon Brando
He looks cuter in baby shirts than babies do.
4. Paul Newman
How does that thumb smell? LIKE RAW MASCULINITY?!
3. Rock Hudson
YOUR NAME IS ROCK. THE END.
2. Clint Eastwood
GIVE US THAT CHAIR, CLINT, BECAUSE WE NEED TO SIT DOWN.
1. Robert Redford
AJKHGKJAWHGAWKJGHKAJHBVS — WHAT GLISTENING LAKE OF ANGEL TEARS DID YOU GLIDE OUT OF?! IT’S NOT EVEN FAIR.