1. Seth MacFarlane’s incredibly heavy makeup.
Despite all the obnoxious things he had to say about women during the ceremony, he sure likes to wear a lot of our makeup. Maybe he was just preparing to hit on George Clooney before he got too old. (HA HA.)
2. The matching long hair on these three behind-the-scenes guys who won awards.
What are the odds that all three of these dudes, winning in rapid succession, would rock similarly fluffy flowing man locks? Fabio, your days are done.
3. Anne Hathaway expressing envy over Ryan Seacrest’s hair style.
Which appeared to be the texture of marshmallow fluff.
4. Russell Crowe looking sweaty and uncomfortable in his tux all night, like it was too tight.
(Or maybe he was just nervous about the fact that he had to try to sing.)
5. Jamie Foxx’s sparkly bow tie.
It might also have some leather in it, which is not an easy combination of materials to pull off. But only he could wear something like this and sort of actually make it look daring and cool.
6. Keith Urban’s hair looking just like Nicole Kidman’s but two inches shorter.
7. Bradley Cooper’s hair resembling pottery.
Definitely the crustiest hair of the night — more so even than Norah Jones’s updo.
And in the back, looking like it was actually in a little nubby ponytail.
But then upon closer inspection you realize that no, that isn’t a ponytail, it’s just the product molding his hair into the shape of a ponytail.
8. John Travolta’s hair resembling wet cake batter.
Talk about distracting!
9. Justin Theroux having to model his clothes this far away from Jennifer Aniston at all times.
Because her dress was so big there was no room for anyone to stand next to her. AND SHE WONDERS WHY SHE’S THE SINGLE ONE. (Kidding, kidding.)
10. George Clooney’s beard.
There’s just something about the way it seamlessly goes from chin to shirt collar, as if eradicating his neck.