Jordan: Will you zip it nerd? The only reason we invited you is because for some reason you have your own SpongeBob Squarepants costume.
JD: It was a gift! *in his head* From me… To me.
I was checking out at Target and when the cashier rang up my feminine products my 5 year old loudly proclaimed, “Ugh! I hate when you’re on your period and have to stick tampons up your butt!”