Stassi Schroeder Will Never Go Brunette Again And Other Things We Learned From Her "Burning Questions" Interview

We asked one of reality TV's greatest characters about her time on The Amazing Race, Queen Bees, and of course, Vanderpump Rules.

Anyone who watches reality TV knows that Stassi Schroeder is the literal Queen Bee of them all.

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She's starred in Vanderpump Rules since its first season debuted in 2013, but wayyy before then she appeared on Queen Bees in 2008 and The Amazing Race: Family Edition in 2005. So naturally I had to ask her about all of these experiences while she stopped by BuzzFeed HQ to discuss her new book, Next Level Basic.

Stassi answered all of our "Burning Questions" and didn't hold anything back:

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What’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you at a Vanderpump-owned restaurant?

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SS: I mean, every time I go in there it's frickin' crazy. I actually kind of started avoiding going to Vanderpump-owned restaurants because I get anxiety attacks. It's, like, overwhelming.

How often do you and the cast see James and Kristen outside of taping the show? Are they truly as hated as the show portrays?

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SS: James sucks ass and is the absolute worst, so there's that. I only see him if I accidentally run into him or I'm at a cast event.

Kristen's one of my best friends so I see her all the time. Do people really hate Kristen? I'm sorry!

What was it like on The Amazing Race and being on a reality show with your family? How is it different from Pump Rules?

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SS: Oh, my god. Well The Amazing Race was the worst cause I was like sixteen and I was half goth, like, I couldn't fully commit. I didn't have my chin implant yet. I was definitely going through my awkward stage in high school and my dad put me on TV to wear no makeup...cause there's no time to actually wear makeup on The Amazing Race! So that was just horrendous.

Way different from Pump Rules. Also, we don't have to, like, run, or exercise on Vanderpump Rules, so there's that.

Would you ever go back to being a brunette?

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SS: I think about it all the time, like, how fun it would be but honestly, no. I just feel like — you know, branding! So I gotta stick with the blonde. Maybe, like, a good fake brunette for like a day, to trick people, I don't know.

Is there anything that happened on the show or in a reunion episode that never aired but you wish it had?

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SS: A lot of things! We film so many scenes that never see the light of day — that annoys the crap out of me and I will yell at my producers all the time.

I think this season, we had a girls trip in Sonoma in wine country and they cut out a whole entire night and the next morning. It was so fun because we all just got wasted at this like western bar and did truth or dares, and then I woke up the next morning and was so hungover that I was like, "I'm gonna need to continue so let's stop at another wine tasting." So I made everyone go wine tasting and I was still in my pajamas.

Who has the worst tattoos on the show?

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SS: I'm trying to go over everyone who has tattoos. I mean, I'm not really like a tattoo person, but my boyfriend is tatted up from literally chest to toe, so how I ended up with somebody who like is obsessed, I have no idea.

Jax used to have the worst tattoos. I mean, he had a tribal [tattoo]. I think on the back it said something like "honor" or something... I don't know. Something that makes zero sense.

Have you ever been mistaken for another celeb? If so, who?

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SS: No, but sometimes people come up to me and they're like "Lala!" or "Ariana!" and I'm like, whatevs.

Do you remember any fun stories from your time on Queen Bees?

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SS: That was hell. No. No fun stories. It was absolute hell. If I could go back in my life and take one thing back, it would probably be Queen Bees.

What’s something we don’t know about Beau?

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SS: He's an artist. He paints and draws so his whole apartment is filled with just his paintings. He likes to paint naked women a lot. Sometimes he doesn't put nipples on them, which I think is weird. I mean, he really likes Sci-Fi movies and stuff, so maybe it's like this whole alien thing. I don't know.

What’s something about you that’s NOT basic that people might not expect?

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SS: I'm really into conspiracy theories. I like to believe in them, like all of them, even if they're not true. So like, there's that. Conspiracy theories for the win. Watch, I'm gonna make that popular and it's gonna become basic.

If you could look back at Season One Stassi, what advice would you tell her?

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SS: Honestly, don't change a damn thing about what you're gonna do because like it's gonna really work out for you, and you're gonna get a book!

If you’ve been watching the new season of RHOBH, where do you stand in the dog saga: team LVP or team everyone else?

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SS: I ain't going there, bitches.

Who do you think will be the next cast member of Vanderpump Rules to write and publish a book?

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SS: I think Ariana. She's been working on a cocktail book for a while, and I think it actually just got picked up, I think.

If you had to be a real housewife of any city, which cast would you belong in?

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SS: New York Housewives is my favorite but those chicks are cray so I honestly don't know that I would be able to hang. Beverly Hills Housewives, I couldn't do the air kissing. I think maybe I could go with Dallas. Most of them seem like a good time!

For more wisdom from Stassi, check out her book Next Level Basic which is in stores now!