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How Petty Are Your Big Boobs Actually?

Like, how petty are they really?

Posted on
  1. Are your boobs actually petty little jerks that are ruining your life? Let's find out!

    YunYulia / anpannan / Getty Images
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    They pop out of your bra.
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    They pop out of your top.
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    They’ve completely popped out of either at an inopportune time.
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    They won’t let you be comfortable in a seatbelt.
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    They’re constantly demanding attention from you.
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    They’re constantly demanding attention from others.
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    They won’t let you get into the bralette trend.
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    They won’t stay inside of a strapless bra.
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    They won’t let you rock the bandeau look.
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    They won’t fit into any cute bras.
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    They’d never allow you to go braless in public.
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    They present problems for backless dresses.
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    They won't allow you to wear a button-down shirt without popping open.
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    They won’t let you sleep on your stomach.
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    They won’t let you wear a messenger bag across your chest.
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    They demand to be held in place when you run anywhere.
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    They barely fit into a sports bra.
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    They made gym class a nightmare.
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    They make working out a nightmare.
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    They made jumping jacks pure torture.
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    They turned running into Satan’s fun little dance.
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    They make swimsuit shopping the worst.
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    They've caused you to buy your bikini tops and bottoms separately.
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    Or they've caused you to avoid bikinis entirely.
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    They make it hard for you to lie in the sand at the beach.
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    They've caused hugging to be a little more intimate than you want.
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    They’ve accidentally gotten you in trouble for a school or work dress code.
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    They’ve warped the text on your graphic tee.
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    They've spilled out over the top of your bra to form a weird "second boob."
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    They make online shopping damn near impossible.
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    They make long necklaces a guessing game of which boob it’ll end up on top of.
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    Or they'll trap a necklace in your cleavage.
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    They make it difficult to borrow shirts from friends.
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    They make trying on clothes an agonizing experience.
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    They won’t let you wear a corset.
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    They cause people to ask “if they’re real."
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    They cause people to stare.
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    They’ve broken a zipper or two.
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    They’ve broken a shirt or two.
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    They’ve completely broken your spirits once or twice.
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    They make it hard to jump.
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    They make yoga challenging.
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    They make viewing the TV while lying down a challenge.
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    They cause back pain.
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    And neck pain.
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    And emotional pain.
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    They’ve caused bra straps to brand your shoulders.
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    They make it hard to fit into a trendy “sexy” bra.
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    And they laugh at the idea of a “push-up” bra.
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    They catch your toothpaste in the morning.
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    They catch your food crumbs all day.
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    They catch your spilled drinks at night.
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    And they sweat.
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    A lot.
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