Everything You Need To Know About The England Vs. Italy Match

Yes, we lost. But still.

1. Everybody was very excited for the England vs. Italy match.

2. The BBC got us in the mood with… whatever this was.


3. Just before the match, everybody had the same thought.

5. While Steven Gerrard was full of enthusiasm for our national anthem.

6. Unbelievably, England started well.

Let's not get too excited but Sterling is the new Maradona.

— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets)

7. And then England SCORED. Except they didn’t. But the caption writers thought they did.

BBC pay dividend to English licence fee payers by awarding us a free goal! #EnglandvsItaly

— Tim Glanfield™ (@timglanfield)

8. In their defence, it really did look in.

9. There was a horrifying possibility that England might do well.

Oh god. HOPE. The worst thing. Disaster. #ENG

— Tom Phillips (@flashboy)

10. Luckily the pundits were there to save us from excitement. Phil Neville in particular.

Phil Neville's voice helping to counteract any adrenaline.

— Römesh Ranganathan (@RomeshRanga)

Phil Neville sounds like he's talking to his therapist

— George Magnus (@georgemagnus1)

Phil Neville sounds like he's spent the day listening to Joy Division records with Mark Lawrenson.

— Toby Fair (@TopTopPundit)

Phil Neville sounds like a Dignitas satnav.

— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell)

14. But still, England were looking good.

The Brazilian climate's done wonders for Rooney's hair #OppositeOfABrazillian #ComeOnEngland

— Timothy Powell (@TCP1980)

Rooney's hair implants have grown in nicely.

— Sean Taylor (@SeanTayTay)

Wayne Rooney's hair is looking fantastic in its World Cup debut.

— Jeff (@jeffito)

17. Then Italy scored. Obviously.

18. And everybody was like this:

Twitter right now:

— Sophie Warnes (@SophieWarnes)

19. But then England actually scored!

Warren Little / Getty Images

20. There were wild celebrations. This dance.

21. In fact the celebrations were so wild that our physio got injured and had to be stretchered off with a dislocated ankle..

Physio, heal thyself.

— Daniel Maier (@danielmaier)

23. Classic England tactics.

24. Poor Gary Lewin :-(

Wonder what was going through Gary Lewin's mind?

— Back Page Football (@bpfootball)

Rumours that Gary Lewin faked injury as he could hear Phil Neville from where he was stood.

— Römesh Ranganathan (@RomeshRanga)

30. Everything was evenly balanced.

31. Although some players tried to fool the referee into thinking they’d scored by pretending to be a football.

— Mike Hayes (@michaelhayes)

Surely we should be awarded a half goal each time one of our blokes runs into the net.

— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker)

33. At half time, it was tense.

Halftime tactical chunder

— Georgie (@georgieprior_)

34. And then shortly after the match started again, Mario Balotelli scored for Italy.

Elsa / Getty Images

35. …and Twitter looked like this again.

36. Joe Hart decided to pretend to be a football too.

Pool / Getty Images

The comforting feeling of football disappointment. It's all I know.

— Charlie Phillips (@charliechar)

38. Italy started rubbing it in a bit by offering to act as England’s replacement physio.


39. It was all getting desperate.

England need a goal - what sacrifice are we cool with? I say acute appendicitis for the kit man.

— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts)

40. Wayne Rooney took literally the worst corner in the history of corners, which kind of summed up how things were going.

oh my god Rooney no longer knows which direction the PITCH is in

— Warren Ellis (@warrenellis)

42. Wayne Rooney didn’t have a great match.

Coach's reaction after Wayne Rooney's miss:

— BuzzFeed Sports (@BuzzFeedSports)

Such a shame Wayne Rooney couldn't be there tonight.

— Ed Morrish (@edmorrish)

44. …but at least the England players weren’t the only ones having a bad day.

You had one job FIFA substitution guy! @_youhadonejob

— Craig Gutteridge (@derbadian)

45. And in the end, there was no way back.

46. But don’t worry, there’s still hope!

So lowering our expectations didn't help. Now what?

— Dicky Moore (@dickymoo)

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Tom Phillips is the UK editorial director for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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