1.
Anybody calling it "Glasto".
2.
Anybody talking about "the vibe".
3.
"It's a really spiritual place."
4.
"It's, like, sooo hedonistic."
5.
"It's like a whole city!"
6.
People tweeting, "I just heard an amazing rumour about who's playing a secret gig."
7.
The concept of the "secret" performance in its entirety.
8.
"Of course the real action happens up at Lost Vagueness/Trash City/Shangri-La/whatever it's called this year."
9.
"Veterans" complaining about how the festival has totally changed.
10.
"It's got too corporate."
11.
People complaining about mud.
12.
News reports saying "revellers are enjoying the mud".
13.
Anybody acting surprised by the price of food.
15.
Personalised wellington boots.
17.
Anything about bongos being inspiring.
18.
Any reference to it being "countercultural".
19.
People telling everybody their "Glastonbury mobile number".
20.
"Of course there's much more to Glastonbury than just the music."
21.
Jo Wiley's forced enthusiasm as she introduces a jazz poet she's never heard of.
22.
"The sun has come out for [insert band here]!"
23.
"That performance is one we'll be talking about for years to come."
